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Official Political Humor Thread

rayzac 2,018 October 20, 2006 at 09:38 AM
Since politics and humor do not always mix, yet the lounge is a little touchy about such topics, this will be the official thread in the Podium to post humor items (jokes, cartoons, blogs, etc). Anything that is overly offensive will still be moderated according to the rules and we will enforce the "No complaining about politics" rule more closely here.

Because of the volitile nature of the Podium, this thread will be limited to posts on humor content and debating will not be allowed in this thread. We will use the spamming and/or trolling if you choose to debate in here.

System Notice: This thread has been automatically renewed after reaching a post limit. Most of its content has been moved to this thread for reference purposes.

July 12, 2010, 3:55 pm: System Notice: This thread has been automatically renewed after reaching a post limit. Most of its content has been moved to this thread for reference purposes.


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Subject: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife

and two children.

Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner,

locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife
and charges at you...

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP
and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?



Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

What is a Kimber 1911 cal.. 45 ACP?

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Is he really a terrorist?
Am I guilty of profiling?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society
and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.

Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

This is all so confusing!

Republican's Answer:


Southerner's Answer:



Click..... (Sounds of reloading)



Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'

'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?'

Wife: You are not taking that to the Taxidermist!
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Democratic National Convention Schedule

Saturday, 27 August 2016

Free lunch, medical marijuana, and bus ride to the Convention.

Forms distributed for Food Stamp enrollment.

2:30 PM
Group Voter Registration for Undocumented Immigrants.

4:00 PM
Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
Sponsored by CNN

4:15 PM
Address on "Being the Real You"
Rachel Dolezal, former Head of the Seattle NAACP

4:30 PM
"How to Bank $200 Million as a Public Servant and Claim to be Broke"
Hillary Clinton

4:45 PM
“How to have a successful career without ever having a job, and still avoid paying taxes!”
A Seminar Moderated by Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson

5:00 PM
Medal of Freedom Presentation to Army deserter Bo Berghdal
Baltimore Looters

5:30 PM
Invitation-only Autograph Session
Souvenir photographs of Hillary and Chelsea dodging Sniper Fire in Bosnia

5:45 PM
Tribute to All of the 57 States
Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi

6:00 PM
Floor Vote on praising Baltimore rioters and using the terminology:"Alternative Shoppers instead of "Looters"

7:30 PM
Announcement of VP NomineeChris Stevens, with a rebuttal and withdrawal when Hillary realizes she got him killed in Benghazi

8:30 PM
The White House "Semantics Committee" MeetingGeneral vote on
re-branding "Muslim Terrorism" as "Random Acts of Islamic Over-Exuberance"

9:00 PM
“Liberal Bias in Media – How we can make it work for you”
Tutorial sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times
Guest Speaker, Brian Williams

9:15 PM
Tribute Film to the Brave Freedom Fighters still incarcerated at GITMO
Michael Moore

9:45 PM
Personal Finance Seminar - "Businesses Don't Create Jobs"
Hillary Clinton

10:00 PM
Group Condemnation of Bitter Gun Owners

10:30 PM
Ceremonial “We Surrender” Waving of the White Flag to Afghanistan, Russia and ISIS .
"Hanoi" Jane Fonda

11:00 PM
Short film, "Setting Up Your Own Illegal Email Server While Serving in a Cabinet Post and How to Pretend it's No Big Deal"
Hosted by Hillary Clinton

11:30 PM
"How to Offend Christians While Implementing Sharia Law in America "
"Sneaky Joe" Biden

12:00 AM
Official Nomination of Hillary
Bill Maher and Chris Matthews
Last edited by adams135 November 23, 2015 at 11:48 AM
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FYI - We have vegan, male posters here.
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