What do you think about drinking in the home?

Specifically in regards to "underage" drinking.

For example, say during family meals the parents have some wine and as their children become older, they offer wine to them. The whole approach is to "demystify" alcohol, to make it a "normal" part of life, not something to obsess about. That way, when the kids are old enough to be in the thick of the cultural obsession with alcohol (say late middle school and high school), when their friends are all hyped up about getting drunk, there won't be any thrill in drinking because it's not something that's been withheld from them for so many years.

This isn't about parents being irresponsible with alcohol and children - the parents aren't going to give the kid hard liquor every day, let their friends drink, etc, but about nipping the alcohol fairy "in the bud" before peer pressure makes alcohol consumption a "big deal".

Why do you think teens (and even pre-teens) have obsessions with alcohol, cigs, etc? Would not treating these things as forbidden (until a magic age) help us deal with these kinds of problems?

I think a little watered down wine with a meal during the holidays is no big deal. Perhaps even on holidays and special occasions (which would set it in a person's mind early on that drinking is a means of celebration, rather than an everyday occurrence). I would not recommend hard liquor in any circumstance, though. Perhaps beer or wine, but that is it.

I also believe that as long as they stay home, and are not given excessive amounts of alcohol, no harm no foul. If they are given enough to get trashed, or leave the home, then the dynamic changes. I personally have been consistent in my life to avoid drinking anywhere that does not have somewhere I can pass out within reasonable walking distance (I have only driven drunk once in my life, and I thoroughly hated the experience).

Quote from Dr. J : Specifically in regards to "underage" drinking. For example, say during family meals the parents have some wine and as their children become older, they offer wine to them. The whole approach is to "demystify" alcohol, to make it a "normal" part of life, not something to obsess about. That way, when the kids are old enough to be in the thick of the cultural obsession with alcohol (say late middle school and high school), when their friends are all hyped up about getting drunk, there won't be any thrill in drinking because it's not something that's been withheld from them for so many years.

Unless the parents are getting them drunk with all their friends and introducing the lowered sexual inhibitions that accompany it... then no, it will still provide many thrills. Getting drunk with friends is a thrill all its own. Just b/c you've had a couple of beers with dad before doesn't mean that you don't want to down a dozen with your pals and then jump off the roof. Dad is old and doesn't want to jump off the roof anymore...plus he doesn't listen to the right kind of music or use the right slang.

I think that if the parents are supervising, then there is no problem with a glass of wine or beer with dinner. But I do agree underage consumption of hard liquor isn't really a good thing. Well, maybe schnapps or a grasshopper or something as a dessert drink. But overall, I believe it's perfectly healthy and normal.

Quote from Doctor_Wu : Dad is old and doesn't want to jump off the roof anymore...plus he doesn't listen to the right kind of music or use the right slang.

I've never heard the age gap explained so succinctly......

Quote from Dr. J : Specifically in regards to "underage" drinking. For example, say during family meals the parents have some wine and as their children become older, they offer wine to them. The whole approach is to "demystify" alcohol, to make it a "normal" part of life, not something to obsess about. That way, when the kids are old enough to be in the thick of the cultural obsession with alcohol (say late middle school and high school), when their friends are all hyped up about getting drunk, there won't be any thrill in drinking because it's not something that's been withheld from them for so many years. This isn't about parents being irresponsible with alcohol and children - the parents aren't going to give the kid hard liquor every day, let their friends drink, etc, but about nipping the alcohol fairy "in the bud" before peer pressure makes alcohol consumption a "big deal". Why do you think teens (and even pre-teens) have obsessions with alcohol, cigs, etc? Would not treating these things as forbidden (until a magic age) help us deal with these kinds of problems?

I think it's a good thing. It can mute the rebellion aspect of drinking that some kids are attracted to; it removes the mystery; it sobers them to the consequences.

I very good friend of mine got his daughter intentionally smashed at a family party when she was 18 - she had always displayed the proclivity to drink; he was concerned. The next day, he sat her down, and asked her how she felt/etc. He asked her: if someone had taken advantage of it, would you have known?

That was a very sobering realization to her.

Now she drinks and carries condoms pinned to her blouse. J/K

I wouldn't think introducing alcohol in a responsible family setting would have any effect on whether it is abused later on, although I'm not at all opposed to families allowing their children to drink a reasonable amount.

The best scenario is to never even try what becomes a vice to many people. It's difficult to crave something that you have never experienced, and that is how I have avoided illegal drugs. When they are offered to me, I simply say that I'll probably like it, and I don't want to like it.

If the parents are doing things to take away the forbidden fruit nature of alcohol, and teach moderation, I just don't see how there could be a problem with this. Jack described what I'm thinking about earlier in the thread pretty well.

The whole 21 drinking age to me doesn't make sense in the first place. I'd argue for 16, but settle for 18. I think I'd be fine with offering my kids (if/when I have some) wine/beer when they entered high school.

Quote from idkist : The whole 21 drinking age to me doesn't make sense in the first place. I'd argue for 16, but settle for 18. I think I'd be fine with offering my kids (if/when I have some) wine/beer when they entered high school.

I don't think it is good to introduce alcohol (or any drug) to a mind that is still in rapid development. 18 probably falls within that period of time, but I would also argue that 18 should be made the legal age. If 18 year old kids are old enough to make decisions about killing people in combat, they are old enough to make decisions about alcohol consumption. If 21 is the appropriate age for making decisions about drinking, then that should also be the minimum age for enlistment and firearms purchases.

While I understand the argument, I highly doubt that introducing alcohol earlier will effect drinking habits in HS/college. PEople don't get drunk b/c of the "mystery." They get drunk because of the feeling of getting drunk, the peer pressure, and the glamorization of inebriation.

I think it's a great idea. If you do a really good job your kid will be a beer/wine/liquor snob and will not want anything to do with Natty Ice, Boxed Wine, or $10 handles of shitty vodka.

Quote from redpoint5 : I wouldn't think introducing alcohol in a responsible family setting would have any effect on whether it is abused later on, although I'm not at all opposed to families allowing their children to drink a reasonable amount.

Look at alcoholism rates by ethnic groups, and you'll find the groups with the lowest rates of problems tend to introduce their minor children to alcohol at the dinner table. They also tend to favor wine over harder drinks (even my moonshiner relatives tend to avoid hard liquor).

Quote from larrymoencurly : Look at alcoholism rates by ethnic groups, and you'll find the groups with the lowest rates of problems tend to introduce their minor children to alcohol at the dinner table. They also tend to favor wine over harder drinks (even my moonshiner relatives tend to avoid hard liquor).

I'm from Europe, and at family gatherings we drink "a lot", but drinking is a social behavior, and getting drunk or obligerent is deeply frowned upon. Everybody's parents give them a little bit of alcohol when they are younger so they know the taste and how it feels. From age 4 or 5 to 8, my grandpa babysat me, we'd walk around town and he'd stop for a beer and let me have all the foam Didnt feel anything, but it did taste good haha.

I like going out with other internationals, we'll drink a good bit, but strech it out until the morning, and rarely does anybody get really bad The americans in the group are usually passed out by 2-3 am lol.

Taking the damn mystery out of alcohol would cure a lot of social problems here. There is also no real culture of moderation.