Thoughts on the TLC show

Gee, I wonder if any EC cast members bought Q's from here LINK. [azfamily.com]

Extreme Couponers swear by one four-letter-word. Wanna guess what it might be? Wrong, you silly-heads, the word is FREE. And we have some kind of grocery-weight-lifting, yelling at some kids, Free Water, Boom!, an episode of Hoarders was spliced in, Coupons Have Taken Over Everything, Coupons Are My Crack, dumping stuff out, launching stuff in, putting it all on the line, a crazy lady STANDING in a grocery basket, and I hope she's got some spotters in case that thing goes voom, missed targets, throwing up on conveyor belts, Shut Your Pie Hole, and off we go!!

Now here is a lady who is a waitress and says that all of her customers know that she's a couponer, and she gets most of her coupons left as tips. (?) Most servers would love to have the 19% average tip that Mr. Narrator claims we always give. But Joyce, from South Carolina, is thrilled to a 50% tip in coupon face value! And I think I'm going to start doing that. In the paper this past week I got some $2 coupons for an amazing product called Urinozinc. The next time we go to Chili's, I am so leaving those for my server,. It's a $20 tip, am I right? So Joyce says she's an Addict and a Coupon-aholic. She says in case of fire, her kids are on their own, as she's grabbing the coupons. She says she got 500 "pain killers" (a.k.a. Bayer aspirin) and made $500 to bring them in the door. She claims that coupons are her methadone, and that getting the paper is like going to a methadone clinic and getting her fix. And I'm starting to get a bit concerned about this show's fixation with illegal drugs. And I wonder if Joyce even knows what Methadone is - it's supposed to free you from habit, not feed your habit! Get your addiction metaphors correct, Silly Joyce! Anyhoo, speaking of addiction, we hear that Joyce has an addictive personality and must always be addicted to something. It used to be food, but now it's coupons. And Joyce has lost 100+ pounds since she started couponing. And you all know that I always have genuine praise for anyone who can beat the weight demon, so good for you Joyce! And we have lots of talk about obsessively cutting coupons, and a stockpile with a WHOLE lot of stuff, and one of Joyce's boys starts talking about the "Stockpile workout", where they put canned food into grocery bags then hang the bags on a broomstick. Instant Barbell! And we have Joyce doing some lifting - she's up to 5 cans per bag - she hopes to get up to 10 because she wants to get "These guns goin' on!" And one of the boys is using a 12 pak of soda instead of dumbbells. And this entire piece is so ridiculously goofy that I cannot help but smile. And Joyce is kinda growing on me, in a Joni sort of way.

OK, let's get down to business here. Joyce wants to buy $900 worth of stuff but she has only $20 to spend. She collects all her coupons and other stuff and off we go to a place called "Shumpert's". The boy must ride in a motorized cart due to recent surgery. First stop is the soda aisle, where she's loading a bunch of 12 packs into the boy's cart. And then the cart won't go, presumably due to all the weight, and the E.C.D. of B.B. inserts these dumb engine starting sounds, and I keep waiting for one of those "aahh-oogah" sounds, but it never comes, and poor Joyce has to push the cart back to somewhere. Meanwhile, this poor young man in the cart is scarred for life. Now we get Hummus, a new product to this family, and Joyce asks them what they think of Hummus. The girl says it looks like dog vomit (of which I heartily agree!) and Joyce says they will eat it anyway! And we are done, and now we have a truly awesome moment where Joyce tells us about how she only checks out with young kids who don't care that she has a wad of coupons … and the camera pans past all these Mean Old Lady Cashiers (aka MOLC) … and drama! MOLCs are all we have at this time! Her husband asks what will they do now! Well, we shall have a break, of course!

We're back, and immediately we hear the Synthesizers of Concern™, which is never good right off the bat, and we hear that Joyce is seriously not going to check with any of the MOLCs and she'll wait out the shift change if she has to. So she and the whole family take the opportunity to "exercise", i.e., push their carts round and round the store for over an hour. But wait, she sees a young girl cashier, and we have the choir angelic singing, and Joyce says this young lady was like "The Star in Bethlehem, Leading me to Baby Jesus", happy and smiling, and I do NOT know, and now we're checking out, and lots and lots of stuff, and The Star says in this charming southern accent that her total is 974 dollahs and 5 cents, which is about 74 more dollahs than Joyce anticipated, and she now feels Physically Ill, and now we have coupons, Random Disinterested People™, Joyce is still worried, going crazy in her head because she says she hasn't slept for 3 days (?!!), and she feels like she's just "smoked a pipe" because she's so excited, and Coupons Are Her Crack, and her total is 3 dollahs and 51 cents, and she does a Tebow right there in the checkout lane. She says she'll never give up that addition. And I'm glad this half is over, I'm like physically exhausted!

We're back, and a lady says she has a strange noise under her car that she needs fixed right away. The car repair guy says her bill will be over $1000. But then the lady opens a secret compartment in her car while asking if there is anything she can do to "sweeten the deal", and of course this compartment contains cookies and mouthwash! And Mr. Narrator tells us that car maintenance costs can run $1100 a year, and some other irrelevant blather, and we now meet Aprille from Michigan, who she says she's known as "The Treat Lady", and she says that this is how she gets her way with everything - by bribing people with sweets! She actually works at the car dealership we saw earlier, and she is in the office pushing around this shopping cart full of stuff, which I guess she's selling to her co-workers. And she says she uses the dealership's computers to load up on internet printable coupons. And here's her tiny apartment, and this is the Hoarders clip I mentioned above, because she has actually got stuff on every square inch of every surface in her cabinets, kitchen counter tops, and so forth. She has a conversation with her live-in boyfriend Tom and tells him that he's got to give up the 20 square foot space he's currently using for his computer and school desk - to make room for more shelves full-o-junque - and she boots him down to the basement!! Free Tom! And now with that minor housekeeping task complete, Arielle's ready to plan out this week's trip. She plans to get $1200 worth of stuff - including 720 packages of cookies - for only tax. Her BFF Jess tells her to Shut Your Pie Hole, and we're off! They didn't show us the store sign this time, and I wonder about that. Some shows they make an obvious effort to show us a lingering shot of the sign. Sometimes you get a glimpse. Sometimes you don't get anything. Is there any rhyme or reason to how this works? I do wonder. Anyhoo, I think you can safely assume it's another mom-and-pop, and we start off with "Flavored Water" which is free, and the cookies are the Mini Bites which are 10 for 10, and she has coupons for $3 off 3, so they are all free. Why can't I ever get ahold of any of these awesome coupons? I'll have to ponder that question over the break!

We are back, and we are at "Tom's Food Center", and it's time to checkout. It's her highest total ever, she's getting nervous, she's starting to panic, and we haven't even touched this flatbed-full-o-cookies yet! And Scanning Is Boring™, and her total before Q is $1239.41. Aprille says she's going to get sick and Mr. Narrator says she's "on edge", and Scanning Coupons Is Boring™, and Aprille is feeling hot, and beeping, and beeping, and a snag! Aprille sees a coupon that didn't double, and is told that they don't double per store policy. So Aprille's dream of tax-only has gone RIGHT out the window, and this incident has "shaken Aprille's confidence in her entire coupon stash" !! Her total is not where it should be! Random Disinterested People™!! But then out final total is $10.44, and Aprille is excited. She says it's great that she can support her and Tom while he finishes school. And I am totally feeling that sentiment until they show us a shot of poor Tom and his desk crammed into some kind of broom closet in the basement. And again I say .. Free Tom!

and we now meet Aprille from Michigan, who she says she's known as "The Treat Lady", and she says that this is how she gets her way with everything - by bribing people with sweets!

Tonight there is only one new episode of Extreme Couponing, which will certainly make my life easier. I'll have more time to spend going over every detail of the episodes with a fine tooth comb and providing you with all the crucial details! So we start off with a very quick duet about saving with coupons, something about going to rehab, clearing shelves, penny savers, coupons put a roof over our head, failure is not an option, raggedy coupons, someone getting a bit verklempt, just like Linda Richman [youtube.com], 20 cents is 20 cents, and more emotion, and off we go !!

A lady says, "I want 100. I've got to have 100". A young girl, presumably her daughter, asks her if she's going to clear the shelf. Silly girl, we are all extreme here! We clear shelves! No namby-pambying around! And why? Then we launch into the coupon duet shown earlier. All the while, the girl has this horrified/incredulous look on her face which is really pretty funny, and now we meet Jane from Pittsburgh who calls herself "The Unstoppable Couponer". We have several shots of Jane loving on her deals, I mean literally hugging a stack of powerades in the cart. She's going into a battlefield - she wants what she wants and no one will stop her. You can't cry and it's NOT for babies. Jane has 100 newspapers delivered to her house every week (!) and she says that she coupons 16 hours a day (!!). Jane's daughter Lindsey says that her mom needs an off day, but she just won't do it! Mr. Narrator says that Jane has recently moved her 3,000 item stockpile into Lindsey's bedroom! And what does poor Lindsey have to say about this? "Awkward." Jane says that her house is her baby and her roof needs $600 worth of repairs. So she'll take her savings from today's Extreme Shopping Trip and that goes towards her roof. Lindsey will be coming along even though she hates couponing. And now we're having a clipping session, and Jane is harassing Lindsey for cutting "raggedy coupons", and she's soon dismissed from the clipping table completely. Free Lindsey! Off we go to a store called "Foodland", and our first item is "Sports Drinks", of which Jane wants 100 and clears the shelf. And a break already!

We're back, and Lindsey protests as Jane loads up the cart with powerades. Shouldn't other people be entitled to the deal as well? Jane says that she got there early to do the deal, and if anyone doesn't like it, well then they should've gotten there earlier. They get some more stuff, some Mentos, some Equal Saccharin, toothpaste, and now we're off to the paper towel aisle. Jane hollers with delight and begins hugging the paper towels, then says it's time to clear the shelf. And now we are off to the checkout, and the cashier is actually laughing at Jane's carts full of stuff. And I wonder. How is this motley collection of junque translating into $600 to fix Jane's roof? We're scanning, and Jane is hot and nervous, not necessarily in that order, and the toothpaste rings up wrong. The cashier tries to take it off and the register locks up! A manager comes over and can't fix it! And we hear the "Wheel of Fortune" fake beep, and the manager decides to reboot - all 200+ items must now be rescanned! Her total is $638.79. And Jane says that she won't be able to fix her roof like she wants to if she has to pay $600 for this stuff. The cashier asks Do You Have Any Coupons Today?™ Duh. And we are scanning coupons, and Jane shows us the $10 she brought, and Random Disinterested People™, and Frantic Music, and her total after coupons is $7.00. And Jane does a funkydance, and we have this awesome fake/bored applause from some Foodland kids at the service desk, and Jane says it was her biggest coupon achievement ever. Lindsey says the trip was "Awesome", but that she probably won't do it again.

A teenage girl starts up the beatboxing, and a crazy lady starts rapping. Such as it is, because her rap really doesn't rhyme nor is it even in-sync with the beats, and I found it to be quite poor - or else I'm just out of touch with modern Rap Music, which is a distinct possibility. Of course, I'm talking about Judy the Couponator, from Sterling, CT. Judy says that she cuts coupons at the expense of other activities, like going to the bathroom! She picks up a random object from her stockpile and gives it a kiss, and says she has dreams about her stockpile! We see her massive stockpile, and Judy says that cleanliness is next to Godliness, and she's definitely got "clean" covered with her gazillions of cleaning products. And we have a little sting from the Choir Angelic to drive the point home. And Judy's friends say that she's a bit OCD and maybe she should consider some sort of medication, LOL, but Judy says that stuff alters her brain, and she likes her brain just how it is, TYVM! Judy teaches a class at her local outreach center, and she's taking 3 of her pupils to the store with her today. She's going back to Roche Bros. again, by the way. And they talk through some deals, and it's not clear if Judy is shopping for herself, or helping them to shop, or what, but it is all rather kooky, and now it's already time for the break.

We're back, and all of the excitement from the rapping has quickly drained out of this piece, as Judy conducts the most boring "coupon training" ever, and we're already headed for the checkout. Judy points out an item that scanned 20 cents too high. Judy says the cashier probably thought she was crazy (and yes, Judy, she did) but 20 cents is 20 cents! Pupil #1 spent $28.00 on a $100+ basket. Now we're on to the next person, whose total is also about $100, and we're now scanning coupons. Judy says she should bring a tape recorder so she can record the coupon beeping and play it whenever she wants. And Judy's 3rd pupil says "No, not crazy at all". Pupil #2's total was 30 and change, and now we're finishing up. Scanning is boring, her total is $125.39, and Judy says - on your mark, get set, Couponate! And we have beeping, and sweating, and frantic music, and her total is $39.48! And this is the lady who gets all verklempt and emotional, because this is really helping her family. Judy delivers a closing celebration rap, which actually rhymes this time but does not have the benefit of the beatboxer. We put it all in the car, and Judy says that without coupons, her life would be: "like, bad", and I couldn't have said it any better myself. Peace out!

And speaking of crazy Extreme Couponers .....
Confessions of Extreme Black Friday Shoppers [cnn.com]

TLC claims it is all new episodes. The one at 10PM ET tonight called "Rudy & Gia" is definitely new - and I would remember if it wasn't, lol.

The one at 10:30 is called "Julie & Faatima" according to the DVR, which is curious. There was an episode last year called "Judy & Faatima". So either someone got it wrong, or it's a new episode and they've brought back Faatima for a third time. Either is possible, I suppose.

The one at 10:30 is called "Julie & Faatima" according to the DVR, which is curious. There was an episode last year called "Judy & Faatima". So either someone got it wrong, or it's a new episode and they've brought back Faatima for a third time. Either is possible, I suppose.

I wonder if they'll show her stockpile in her new home in Hawaii.