POLL: How do you feel about "drop-in visitors"?

I hosted a cookout this past weekend and invited 8 people, besides me and my GF. FIVE extra people just showed up during the meal ( "dropped by" )!! I had enough food, but still.......don't people have any social skills or manners, anymore??

It isn't just this incident, but hundreds of others that are really starting to bug me. People drop by my house every single day, sometimes 5 or 6 different friends and acquaintances, even just bringing strangers by to "get a tour" of my house. I've tried to always be polite but sometimes I'm busy, have other plans, or I'm just not in the mood for company, but they don't take the hint that they need to call or email me before coming over.

Many times people will say things like "I might stop by your house this weekend sometime." and I reply "Which day? Saturday or Sunday?" and they say "Not really sure. We'll just play it by ear." and so I end by saying "Well, it might be a good idea if you call first to make sure I'm home and then we can set a time that's convenient for both of us." Doesn't work, though, as people just show up anyway, without warning or even asking, regardless of what I say. I've tried letting all my friends know that I prefer they call first, but nobody seems to think I'm serious or they just don't care.

Is that rude of me to feel people should make arrangements to come over to my house prior to the visit, either via phone or text or email or even WAIT FOR AN INVITATION ? Or maybe just not clear and firm enough?

How do you feel about 'drop-in" visitors? And if you get annoyed like me, how do you get people to stop just showing up univited? I don't really want to lose friends or seem like a grouch, but seems like people just take for granted that I have nothing better to do or have no plans at all.

Your thoughts on drop-ins? Suggestions?

I applaud your ability to adapt and find the best in any situation as it's presented. Based on this and your previous posts you take the time to clearly think out all possibilities and react in a way that best compliments the other parties involved without coming across as selfish and demanding.

That being said.....if someone walks in on your you have every right to them before things erupt in to a Sure....eventually everyone will , but you really need to stop letting everyone walk all over you. It's to the point where they are just taking advantage of you.

I get it. I have a similar issue, but it's when people arrive other places and then call me, as though there was no time between when they decided to leave their homes, the drive there, and walking that they could have let me know, and I'm just supposed to show up instantly to a place that's 10-15 minutes away

Just don't answer the door. That's what I do.

They know I'm home because my car is there. Makes it very obvious that I don't like "drop-in" visitors.

Quote from MissyMooMoo : Just don't answer the door. That's what I do. They know I'm home because my car is there. Makes it very obvious that I don't like "drop-in" visitors.

Most of my friends and family live over an hour away, so yeah they better call beforehand

Quote from emelvee :

I always open the door when it's you. I mean, afterall, it's your basement.

Quote from chewspam : I applaud your ability to adapt and find the best in any situation as it's presented. Based on this and your previous posts you take the time to clearly think out all possibilities and react in a way that best compliments the other parties involved without coming across as selfish and demanding. That being said.....if someone walks in on your you have every right to them before things erupt in to a Sure....eventually everyone will , but you really need to stop letting everyone walk all over you. It's to the point where they are just taking advantage of you.

I have a very close friend, whom says I am like a sister to her - but she has point blank told me not to just drop by - to call her first before I come home - and I respect that - that is what she wants - and I would not just go over without calling first. Sometimes people have issues they are dealing with - and just dropping by is totally inconvenient for the people you drop in on.

I actually like having visitors, my door's pretty much always open.

Quote : I hide and pretend I'm not home. I just don't answer the door

My family and I don't like drop-in visitors. We just don't answer the door. If you didn't call, but you came over - too bad. We don't know who you are, and we are super paranoid.

My dad may answer the door, but my mom and I don't.

If you don't want (certain) people over, just don't answer when they show up. I don't see what's so hard about it...

I hate people just dropping by. Drives me crazy. I normally don't answer the door.

I never mind, but I'd like to think that if they dropped in on a party that they weren't invited to, they'd take a hint and not stay very long (though, unless the groups were incompatible, I'd probably invite them to stay). If I have to leave though, I'd also expect them to understand. I drop in on close friends/family uninvited from time to time but I'd never impose if they had people over, in fact if I can see that before I even got out of the car, I'd probably just drive on by.

Quote from extreme2700 : I actually like having visitors, my door's pretty much always open.

visitors or clients?

My in-laws are like that and I dislike it with a passion. DW says she doesn't like it either but won't let me tell them to call first. They live about 10 miles away. Their dropping in isn't an infrequent occurrence.