Attachment Parenting / Breastfeeding

My wife breastfed our DD which is great, but people that carry it on longer than, say, 1-2 years - after the time when the child has teeth (you know, which are meant for solid foods, e.g. no need for milk), are doing it for themselves, not for the child. Our DD spontaneously stopped breastfeeding around 14 months or so - by that time she'd been on solid foods (in part) for at least 8 months and had essentially kept herself to a night feeding or 2.

3 isn't an extreme example of this - stories of people still breastfeeding their kids at 8 and 9 are not that uncommon. Again, such people have mental defects where they feel the need to "keep" their kids (at least virtually) at a very young age, dependents. I'm not surprised that the mental issues extend to cosleeping and literal attachment.

I'm not against cosleeping or "attachment" so much either - when done appropriately and at an appropriate age. Our DD "coslept" with us in a cosleeper (essentially a tiny bassinet that "attaches to the side of the bed but is its own entity) for perhaps 3-4 months until she grew out of it (size). This kidn of arrangement eliminates issues like rolling over on your kids if they are kept in the same bed. It's also easier for mom for nightly feeding.

Attachment, literally, I think of things like baby bjorns, which are OK when you're out and about, but not 24x7 and certainly not at 3 yo.

Congrats future parent! I'm the proud owner of an 11 day old son m'self.

My 1st one went nine months on the boob. I can't really see going longer than a year. She's getting close to 2 now and tears through smoked ribs pretty effectively. I can't see why you'd want to keep going with breastfeeding when eating with the family is such a socializing thing for little ones.

Then again at my daughter's day care I see other kids eating breakfast and it's McDonalds or microwaveable biscuit sausage sandwiches every day. I'd rather my kid have breastmilk than a fatty liver at 3 years old.

Quote from Parafly9 : I think breastfeeding, if you can do it, is important to do... .i don't think less of anyone who can't do it, since it isn't their fault, but I do wonder about parents who voluntarily avoid breast feeding, at least for a little while (even at least your maternity leave). A friend of ours asked my wife if she will be breast feeding, and we said yes we are hoping to do that, and she said (verbatim quote) "That's gross, I would never do that, even right outta the womb! Yuck!" That made me do a little eyeroll inside my mind

I never really 'got' the whole breast feeding thing. I have a 1 year old who was on formula since day 3 (tried breast feeding, wasn't for us), and he's fine. I honestly find it difficult to believe that I have somehow a lesser bond with my kid than some other dad who's wife breast fed. I would never tell someone not to do it, but the stigma attached to infant formula seems way overboard.

What really bothers me is when organizations like the WHO step in and start trying to impose their own brand of international laws on various countries regarding infant formula, like attempting to ban advertising of infant formula, eliminating discounts or coupons or free samples. God forbid you develope a formula that's actually better than breast feeding, because you sure as heck can't write such blasphamy on the label! In fact, they want every formula to promote breast feeding!

Quote from Danman114 : I never really 'got' the whole breast feeding thing. I have a 1 year old who was on formula since day 3 (tried breast feeding, wasn't for us), and he's fine. I honestly find it difficult to believe that I have somehow a lesser bond with my kid than some other dad who's wife breast fed. I would never tell someone not to do it, but the stigma attached to infant formula seems way overboard. What really bothers me is when organizations like the WHO step in and start trying to impose their own brand of international laws on various countries regarding infant formula, like attempting to ban advertising of infant formula, eliminating discounts or coupons or free samples. God forbid you develope a formula that's actually better than breast feeding, because you sure as heck can't write such blasphamy on the label! In fact, they want every formula to promote breast feeding!

The point is YOU CAN'T. Even the formula companies know this... they try to claim "As GOOD as" and can;t. Breastmilk changes dramatically as the child develops.., even changing as the child feeds throughout the day....

Yes, a child can be a wonderful, successful, healthy person brought up on formula - I was fed corn syrup and condensed milk instead of formula (now THATS gross)! No one should feel guilty if they can't nurse, but breastmilk IS best for most babies... let's not pretend otherwise. Plus it's the ultimate SLICKDEAL!

ANd if you "breastfeed until 3" the child IS eating veggies and steak and all other people food... by that age, the probably just nurse to sleep once a day. I get that this sounds weird to many people, and I agree it's not for everyone but it works for some child/Mom pairs, so why do you care? It can be beautiful. Jay Leno once said that he was nursed until 4 and his quote was something like this "I remember it, it was wonderful"

does anyone know a female that has breastfed till the child was 3yrs old etc... ? It's odd because we picked a specific issue like breastfeeding which is somewhat taboo (at least for males to look at). But, what about kids that are 8+ yrs old that still sleep with their parent(s) every night, or have their temperature taken from the bottom side etc.. (Yes I actually know people like this).

I've heard people defend and justify the entire, I sleep with my 10yr old because _______ . But really it's the same sort of issue.

I'm wayyyyyyyyyy on the other side of the fence. I expect children to almost act like little adults (at least in terms of courteousness, school etc..).

But on anther note I REALLY feel bad for the kid because he will forever through his life be known as: "The 3 yr old on the cover of Time Mag sucking on his mother's teet". It was very kind of her to set her child up be bullied and ridiculed for the rest of his life.

Quote from DJPlayer;50005878[B : ]does anyone know a female that has breastfed till the child was 3yrs old etc... ? [/B] It's odd because we picked a specific issue like breastfeeding which is somewhat taboo (at least for males to look at). But, what about kids that are 8+ yrs old that still sleep with their parent(s) every night, or have their temperature taken from the bottom side etc.. (Yes I actually know people like this). I've heard people defend and justify the entire, I sleep with my 10yr old because _______ . But really it's the same sort of issue. I'm wayyyyyyyyyy on the other side of the fence. I expect children to almost act like little adults (at least in terms of courteousness, school etc..). But on anther note I REALLY feel bad for the kid because he will forever through his life be known as: "The 3 yr old on the cover of Time Mag sucking on his mother's teet". It was very kind of her to set her child up be bullied and ridiculed for the rest of his life.

Yup.. me!! As to co-sleeping late? I did it until 3. And if it's for the right reasons and the child is developing well? WHo cares? And why do you care? OTOH, my daughter's friend still sleeps in her parents room at 7 and it's NOT a healthy situation. She is a very clingy child to very permissive parents. This IS NOT attachment parenting, its permissive parenting... BIG difference - the ACTIONS are often the same (extended BF and co-sleeping for example) but the reasons are very diffferent and thus they end differently. I think the girl could use a little nudge out of the nest.... Not a SHOVE mind you but I think a little nudge and an opportunity to overcome some fear would give her a great deal of confidence. So, as her Girl Scout leader, I planned an overnight when her parents can't stay... wish us luck!

But if everyone is developmentally FINE? Let 'em snuggle their loved ones to sleep!

Happy mother's day to all moms, breastfeeding or not.

Having lived in a fairly rural suburb of atlanta, we knew parents who did this (breastfed beyond 12 or 18 months). My wife made the very axcurate point that none of the mothers looked like this one. Most didnt even seem to shower.very often.

Quote from lerlerler : Yup.. me!! As to co-sleeping late? I did it until 3. And if it's for the right reasons and the child is developing well? WHo cares? And why do you care? OTOH, my daughter's friend still sleeps in her parents room at 7 and it's NOT a healthy situation. She is a very clingy child to very permissive parents. This IS NOT attachment parenting, its permissive parenting... BIG difference - the ACTIONS are often the same (extended BF and co-sleeping for example) but the reasons are very diffferent and thus they end differently. I think the girl could use a little nudge out of the nest.... Not a SHOVE mind you but I think a little nudge and an opportunity to overcome some fear would give her a great deal of confidence. So, as her Girl Scout leader, I planned an overnight when her parents can't stay... wish us luck! But if everyone is developmentally FINE? Let 'em snuggle their loved ones to sleep!

Same here, my youngest weaned at 3 years and 4 months? Moved to his own bed at age 4. I've talked about his antics in the Target thread, calling him monkey pup. Our ped has said that in 20 years of practice, monkey pup was the first 3/4 year old that she didn't have to ask the parent about language development because the child talked non-stop. Extended breastfeeding and cosleeping has not stunted his development in any way.

Quote from DJPlayer : does anyone know a female that has breastfed till the child was 3yrs old etc... ? It's odd because we picked a specific issue like breastfeeding which is somewhat taboo (at least for males to look at). But, what about kids that are 8+ yrs old that still sleep with their parent(s) every night, or have their temperature taken from the bottom side etc.. (Yes I actually know people like this). I've heard people defend and justify the entire, I sleep with my 10yr old because _______ . But really it's the same sort of issue. I'm wayyyyyyyyyy on the other side of the fence. I expect children to almost act like little adults (at least in terms of courteousness, school etc..). But on anther note I REALLY feel bad for the kid because he will forever through his life be known as: "The 3 yr old on the cover of Time Mag sucking on his mother's teet". It was very kind of her to set her child up be bullied and ridiculed for the rest of his life.

I nursed one of my children until she was about 3. She was a child who, from the time she was born, seemed convinced that I was just going to abandon her and leave her for dead if she didn't keep me close. Instead of pushing her away and making her cry herself to sleep, I cuddled her and made her feel safe. She gradually learned that she was going to be okay without me there every second, and now at 12 years old no one would guess she had been so clingy.

While I have no problems with someone nursing a child until they are 3, or even older, I agree that this mother is not doing her child any favors by putting him on the cover of the magazine. It is clear this was done to be provocative -- otherwise it would show a mother cuddling and nurturing her son while nursing him instead of looking annoyed and the kid looking like he just climbed up there himself and latched on. No one actually does that.

Quote from lerlerler : The point is YOU CAN'T. Even the formula companies know this... they try to claim "As GOOD as" and can;t. Breastmilk changes dramatically as the child develops.., even changing as the child feeds throughout the day.... Yes, a child can be a wonderful, successful, healthy person brought up on formula - I was fed corn syrup and condensed milk instead of formula (now THATS gross)! No one should feel guilty if they can't nurse, but breastmilk IS best for most babies... let's not pretend otherwise. Plus it's the ultimate SLICKDEAL!

Point I'm trying to make is that even if a company does make a formula that's better than breast milk, the WHO wouldn't want them advertising such. I have a problem when some international group dictating science by fiat.

I agree that right now breast milk is usually better for the child, but there are some benefits to formula that you're not even allowed to advertise!

Quote from Danman114 : Point I'm trying to make is that even if a company does make a formula that's better than breast milk, the WHO wouldn't want them advertising such. I have a problem when some international group dictating science by fiat. I agree that right now breast milk is usually better for the child, but there are some benefits to formula that you're not even allowed to advertise!

I think the ads get out there, And given the history in some countries of the deception of the formula company ads - and the subsequent rise in formula use in countries in which even the WATER (with which the formula was to be mixed) was scarce and unsafe? A little leveling of the playing field is Ok with me. Pediatritions ALREADY jump from "My nipples are cracking and tender" to "Switch to formula" faster than a NASCAR race... The playing field is fine.

Less GUILT should be given to women who have to formula feed, but more ads? Nope

Quote from lerlerler : I think the ads get out there, And given the history in some countries of the deception of the formula company ads - and the subsequent rise in formula use in countries in which even the WATER (with which the formula was to be mixed) was scarce and unsafe? A little leveling of the playing field is Ok with me. Pediatritions ALREADY jump from "My nipples are cracking and tender" to "Switch to formula" faster than a NASCAR race... The playing field is fine. Less GUILT should be given to women who have to formula feed, but more ads? Nope

If formula was better for an infant (not saying that it is now), would you change this position, or would you prefer to have people fed via an inferior method because the WHO said so?

Quote from Danman114 : If formula was better for an infant (not saying that it is now), would you change this position, or would you prefer to have people fed via an inferior method because the WHO said so?

You make it sound as if the WHO's recommendation is arbitrary and inflexible.