stay or change jobs?

Quote from Jeffbx : I agree. Never accept counter-offers, and never threaten to leave a company to get more money - both will almost always end up biting you in the ass. In both cases, you now have a target on your head. You're seen as the person who will jump ship for the next good offer that comes along, or that you'll be doing the same thing a year from now. Many companies/bosses won't want to deal with that, so you'll be on the short list of people to get rid of if the opportunity arises.

Yes and no. It's never a good idea to threaten a company with leaving, because then, like you said, they might give you a temporary raise just to keep you happy while they search for your replacement. If you are in a vital role that they can't risk losing at the moment, they might make accomidations for their own benefit, but you will most likely piss people off.

On the other hand, depending on the circumstances at your company, you could sit down with your boss and explain your situation. See how receptive they are to a raise in general, and if they aren't, say something about how you received an offer for $X, and really don't want to leave, but at the same time you need to think about your family, etc. Say that you really want to stay, etc., but need to consider all options. If your employer is good, they will understand the situation and might work with you on trying to keep you on. But don't threaten, and keep your other options alive.

Quote : And for goodness sake, don't make the mistake of thinking you're irreplacable. EVERYONE is replacable - there are no exceptions to this rule.

This is absolutely true. Again, they might make temporary accommodations if it's in their best interest, but everyone can eventually be replaced.