Joined Apr 2009
L6: Expert
Forum Thread
My 4yr old was left at his dad's home w/ a 10 and 8 yr old...what do I do?
February 18, 2013 at
08:39 PM
sorry people. I never venture into the Lounge, but I figured this was worth the question. My son is four and his dad and I have been split up/divorced for 3 yrs+. we have split custody and trade off every other week. we live in TX.
My son told me that he was left at home with the other two boys that live in his home that are 10 and 8 (ex lives with his GF and her 2 kids)
I am thinking of getting a lawyer and taking him to court for child endangerment.
I can understand maybe a 13+ yr old watching some other kid but not 10 and 8. They have no knowledge of CPR, first aid, calling 911 in a panic, fire danger, not answering the front door.
Any thoughts, suggestions? I am kind of scared of turning his dad in, as to what can happen on the weeks I dont have him, but I feel helpless putting my son in that situation.
I called my ex and he admitted they left them but "only for a few mins, and it wasnt my concern on the weeks that arent mine"
(please excuse the typing as my s and w key are busted, so I have to cut and paste. )
My son told me that he was left at home with the other two boys that live in his home that are 10 and 8 (ex lives with his GF and her 2 kids)
I am thinking of getting a lawyer and taking him to court for child endangerment.
I can understand maybe a 13+ yr old watching some other kid but not 10 and 8. They have no knowledge of CPR, first aid, calling 911 in a panic, fire danger, not answering the front door.
Any thoughts, suggestions? I am kind of scared of turning his dad in, as to what can happen on the weeks I dont have him, but I feel helpless putting my son in that situation.
I called my ex and he admitted they left them but "only for a few mins, and it wasnt my concern on the weeks that arent mine"
(please excuse the typing as my s and w key are busted, so I have to cut and paste. )
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10 and 8 are fine left at home alone for a short time but 4 is young to be left in their care.
...and I divorced him
My son told me that he was left at home with the other two boys that live in his home that are 10 and 8 (ex lives with his GF and her 2 kids)
I am thinking of getting a lawyer and taking him to court for child endangerment.
I can understand maybe a 13+ yr old watching some other kid but not 10 and 8. They have no knowledge of CPR, first aid, calling 911 in a panic, fire danger, not answering the front door.
Any thoughts, suggestions? I am kind of scared of turning his dad in, as to what can happen on the weeks I dont have him, but I feel helpless putting my son in that situation.
I called my ex and he admitted they left them but "only for a few mins, and it wasnt my concern on the weeks that arent mine"
(please excuse the typing as my s and w key are busted, so I have to cut and paste. )
I'm not saying what he did was necessarily right but the fact that you're ready to run down to the courthouse over it suggests there's more to the story.
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My son told me that he was left at home with the other two boys that live in his home that are 10 and 8 (ex lives with his GF and her 2 kids)
I am thinking of getting a lawyer and taking him to court for child endangerment.
I can understand maybe a 13+ yr old watching some other kid but not 10 and 8. They have no knowledge of CPR, first aid, calling 911 in a panic, fire danger, not answering the front door.
Any thoughts, suggestions? I am kind of scared of turning his dad in, as to what can happen on the weeks I dont have him, but I feel helpless putting my son in that situation.
I called my ex and he admitted they left them but "only for a few mins, and it wasnt my concern on the weeks that arent mine"
(please excuse the typing as my s and w key are busted, so I have to cut and paste. )
I would have called the police and filed a report. But that's just me. Not over CPR or how to call 9-1-1 but because they could've let a stranger in - that sort of thing. There's a reason the American Red Cross now certifies babysitters.
OP, LC2 is right, this is neglect, but, in my state at least, it is very much considered a form of abuse. Contact your local CPS or Family Court and find out how the law reads in your area. Here, children under the age of 12 are not supposed to be left alone. Let your ex know what you find out and NEVER be scared about protecting your child. Don't "cry wolf", but don't not speak up either. it is better to be a squeaky wheel than to endanger your child.
I mean if it's one incident you could ask politely that it not happen again...but it sounds like you're making a mountain out of a mole hill. Because you want to go after him immediately with court...why not just try talking about it calmly...
But I guess I'm not an over protective parent like most are these days.
It most certainly IS your concern, even though it's not your week, and you can impress that upon him, but you have to weigh if that added drama and stress on your kid is worth it. I don't know your situation, so that's your choice.
tl;dr, this will result in 0 legal consequences outside of your paid legal fees.
The 10-year-old doesn't know to keep the door closed? Wouldn't he keep it closed if for no other reason than because his parents tell him to?
I mean, plenty of 10-year-olds do a lot of "adult" things (both good and bad). If one doesn't know to call 911 or keep a door closed.... I am guessing this one actually does know such things. Would hope so.
I'd ask your son how long "a few minutes" was. If it was indeed "a few minutes," then I think it is being blown out of proportion. If "a few minutes" was five hours, that's a little different.
Either way, I'd have a few words to say about being told "it's not my concern on the weeks that aren't mine." It's your son. Of course it's your concern. And if the ex is smart, he'd be apologizing more than anything.