If you are home, please answer your phone when it rings. It's very annoying to hear it ring over and over when I know you're there. Why should I have to suffer too because you're avoiding creditors since you can't pay your bills on time. I stop by just to act all "concerned" but I'm hoping you just get the point. Maybe next time I'll bring my hatchet.
Please to close your front door. We do not appreciate you watching everything we do across the hall, and certainly do not feel the disgustingly stained carpets and trash of your own apartment needs to be visually shared with the rest of us.
Since you have the horn beep when you use the key fob to lock the doors to your car, is it really necessary to push that damn button 5 times in a row??? Did you really NOT hear it the first 4 times? I mean you were standing right there.
BUY a SHIRT! We are sick of seeing your flabby gut hanging out all over! And also, can you put a muffler on your "new" truck? We don't need you to announce that you leave for work every day at 4:30 AM!
I'm so *$#%^! tired of being polite and nice. Quit knocking on my door and coming in with your geeky mail carrier outfit to show me some stupid video. This *&^%$ sweater is so damn itchy, and these $%^@# sneakers are too tight.
As much as I appreciate your kindness in offering your pet's dung as fertilizer for my lawn, I think I will take a pass. Next time, my refusal will be translated for you by my loving pitbull dog who thinks bone marrow is a delicacy.
"Be nice to nerds. You might end up working for them. We all could". - Charles J. Sykes
You guys are hilarious. Can always count on you for a good laugh.
Oh, and if we wrote a letter to our only other neighbor it would be:
We were both so excited to find out the sheriffs department finally got access to your home and released your over the internet bride. Sorry to hear she went back to Russia, but, I am sure she is happy to finally be allowed outdoors.
Yes, this is a true story. We have a lot of freaks around here.
Last edited by #sevenstinks; 06-11-2008 at 12:32 PM..
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