Hey I pee outside all the time after midnight. Water Conservation...
Yeah, but would you do it in plain site when your neighbor and her little kids are out front playing?? Or when you have been sitting on your driveway drinking all evening with your MOM and DAD and they can clearly see what you're up to? These are but a few examples of when he practices, errr water conservation...
Since you let your aggressive dog run loose last night and it tried to terrorize me and my daughter walking home, I will be doing the following from this point on.
Animal control will be called each and every time if I happen to see it outside and I'm inside.
More extreme measures will be taken if we're both outside at the same time and he's running loose.
Let's not let that happen for everyone's sake as you seem like a nice lady otherwise.
You guys are hilarious. Can always count on you for a good laugh.
Oh, and if we wrote a letter to our only other neighbor it would be:
We were both so excited to find out the sheriffs department finally got access to your home and released your over the internet bride. Sorry to hear she went back to Russia, but, I am sure she is happy to finally be allowed outdoors.
Yes, this is a true story. We have a lot of freaks around here.
Quote from Reneek :
Seven, I think you've just created a classic.....great thread!
Thanks Reneek! There are some great answers here, that is for sure.
I don't care if you lick windows, take the special bus or occasionally pee on yourself... You hang in there sunshine, you're special.
Or, if your going to ride my a$$ that hard, could you at least pull my hair.
You will be happy to know that I have nominated you for the Guiness book of world records for the most number of cars that can be parked in a driveway. I'm particularly in awe of the way you were able to stack several cars on top of one another, possibly as a tribute to the late Evel Knievel.
Let's talk about your visitors. If they are too lazy to walk the 50 feet from the driveway to your front door, have them use a cell phone to call you. Using the horn also alerts me to their arrival and makes me realize how classy you are. In addition, if your guests do stay and park in front of my house, please ask them to deposit their litter in your garbage can, not my front lawn. I do not mind going out, picking it up, and re-depositing it in your lawn or open car window (true story), but it would save us both the effort. On a final note, please encourage your 20 year old son and his friends to play basketball with their shirts off more often.
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