What are some stupid status messages on your Facebook/Twitter feed?

[Lloyd.]

"im BETTER than your ex and gonna be HOTTER than your NEXT..!"

and she's ugly :rofl2:

[sparxe]

www.lolfbmoments.com

[Intrepid.]

This one girl posts "Jane Smith has a date with her bed :heart: " about 3 or 4 times a week. Really gotten old after about a year of doing it.

[XL_Jockey]

This one girl posts "Jane Smith has a date with her bed :heart: " about 3 or 4 times a week. Really gotten old after about a year of doing it.

Maybe she uses the bedpost?

[axmaster45]

www.lolfbmoments.com

the one titled "CHOO CHOO" on page 3 was freakin hilarious

http://www.lolfbmoments.com/?p=2249

[Kramer!]

"Lloyd has a date with a girl tonight!"

[MsGal]

I have a friend that posts quotes, positive thinking/inspirational messages every single day and she updates about 4 times a day. We've known her about 10 years and this woman is NOT as positive as she would like everyone to believe. She posts that crap and then calls or comes over to tell us how bad her life sucks.

She is an emotional vampire and I am about a gnat's ass away from pruning her off my FB.

[BostonGirl]

" weeeeeeeeeeeeee !"
"On lunch"
" Can someone please let me know how the usa mens team is doing."
"I just saw natalie portman's butt"
"It is 1:55pm and I just ate a cinammon roll."

:huh:

[BostonGirl]

"my cat is snoring"
" i luv how giada handles a spatula"
"Heading to ihop"
"i have no idea why"
"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, girl scout cookies!!!!!!!!!"

My friends are farked..:rofl2:

[jj.12321]

She posts that crap and then calls or comes over to tell us how bad her life sucks.

She is an emotional vampire and I am about a gnat's ass away from pruning her off my FB.


:lol: Everyone needs a friend like that.

[kel_be]

http://failbooking.com/

[MsGal]

"oawjsdkjpajsdjpajsdriasjdirasjdffvjsfujaklsjdruaseriasdtujasjdfiojsodijfpoasjdf"

:huh:

[BostonGirl]

SD Effect? :lol:

http://slickdeals.net/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=330876&stc=1&d=1266355056

[serra]

some of the groups that my friends join are funnnnnny!

"I dont care about your farm, or your fish, or your park, or your mafia!!!"
"Why do we have to be quiet during a fire drill? Will the fire hear us?"
"My Asian Parents take a huge stack of napkins and then take the rest home"

[ForeverDcember]

"i want a smoooothie."

"@ home watchig some ESPN Drag racing wt my mÙnchkinz"

"just went tanning. time to hit up the gym. no, seriously." <----from a guy

[UTR]

http://www.lamebook.com

[Ram|bunc|tious]

"needs a tougher skin. Or a smarter brain. Or both......"
"has put children on the school bus!"
"became a fan of I Dont Need Anger Management ... You Just Need To Stop Pissin Me Off !!" (an SDer) :lol:
"Live-blogging from my grandma's house, while everyone else is napping."

[Lloyd.]

saw this on my wall:

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kw8lngJrVU1qzp63zo1_400.jpg

:rofl2:

[Billiam411]

is MLV's name jim? :eek:
http://www.lolfbmoments.com/?p=2273

:lol:

[ParisaBleu]

The latest stupid one is "If girls with nice boobs work for hooters, where do girls work that only have one leg, IHOP? If a girl has one leg and nice boobs can she work at hooters? Would she get more tips due to the bouncing?"


Don't know if said person has one leg and is planning on a lift or implant session or what brought on the questions. :dontknow:

[kel_be]

some of the groups that my friends join are funnnnnny!

"I dont care about your farm, or your fish, or your park, or your mafia!!!"
"Why do we have to be quiet during a fire drill? Will the fire hear us?"
"My Asian Parents take a huge stack of napkins and then take the rest home"

You're on FB and not a friend of mine? :sadwalk:

[smiley333]

:lol: This one was at the top of the status feed today: "GOOD Mornin'!! rise and shine.. get up and S..t..r..e..t..c..h... Now shake you boobs!! there~don't you feel refreshed??"

Hope she doesn't see this. :hide:

[Norgechica]

:rofl2:

http://www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/Birdhoused.png

[nissin]

:rofl2:

http://www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/Birdhoused.png

ahhahha

this thread is funny!!

[Homefrrie]

A friend found this note on his car today :lmao:

http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/7169/noted.jpg

[serra]

You're on FB and not a friend of mine? :sadwalk:
aww :hug: don't take it personally but i have no one from sd as my friend. i just rather keep my real life separate from online alter ego :nod:

besides, i don't want backagain to know what a real wuss i am because you know, he's super scared of me here. :P

[BostonGirl]

aww :hug: don't take it personally but i have no one from sd as my friend. i just rather keep my real life separate from online alter ego :nod:

besides, i don't want backagain to know what a real wuss i am because you know, he's super scared of me here. :P

I am the same way. I did have one and added SD'ers a long time ago and deleted it. I hated facebook back then. Now all my real life friends are on it, so I made one..:dontknow:

I still don't even like some of my RL friends on there..:rofl2:

[serra]

" If I'm ever in a situation where I HAVE to eat a sheep's eyeball I can tell you now with conviction it ain't gonna happen!"

I am the same way. I did have one and added SD'ers a long time ago and deleted it. I hated facebook back then. Now all my real life friends are on it, so I made one..:dontknow:

I still don't even like some of my RL friends on there..:rofl2:
lol, i know what you mean about some rl friends. i have two friend request i'm ignoring. like i don't even know them that well :dontknow:

[BostonGirl]

" If I'm ever in a situation where I HAVE to eat a sheep's eyeball I can tell you now with conviction it ain't gonna happen!"


lol, i know what you mean about some rl friends. i have two friend request i'm ignoring. like i don't even know them that well :dontknow:

I ignore most of them....and block quite a few repeat requesters..idk why they didn't get the hint the first time...OH and I had an ex stalking me, for real..:eek:
I figure if I'd go meet someone for a drink or w/e to catch up, then I add them..:lol:
Then a few who post stupid "debbie downer" status's all the time, I have those ones "hidden" so I don't have to read them.

Really don't like the new facebook though..:nono2:

[Lloyd.]

what am i supposed to do when the best part of me is always YOU ♥♥♥

:facepalm2:

[Billiam411]

what am i supposed to do when the best part of me is always YOU ♥♥♥

:facepalm2:

better then:
what am i supposed to do when the best part of me is always in YOU ♥♥♥

:facepalm2:

:lol:

[Lloyd.]

better then:


:lol:

:rofl2:

[MsGal]

"I baked the baby in the cake. Ya'll come have some!"

WTF??? :huh:

[Lloyd.]

"I baked the baby in the cake. Ya'll come have some!"

WTF??? :huh:

:roll:

[Lloyd.]

:bump:

[Lloyd.]

"im a bitch, im a slut, but i don't care, i call this life!"

:roll:

[Lloyd.]

I wish you had longer legs that you could fasten to my body so I'd take you with me everywhere.

:facepalm2:

[Lloyd.]

"I'm tanned and hairless, baby!"

oh wait that's me :doh:

[wuzzy]

Is buying organic food at Giant.

[TigerStar]

kinda hates being so short that the sun-visor in the car is useless, lol

:roll:

not stupid, but funny

[ParisaBleu]

:roll:

not stupid, but funny

Do you ride with me? lol, I didn't post that but I totally agree, It stinks.:nod: FWIW I am 4'9" Legally, in the state of Texas I should ride in a booster seat. :rolleyes:

[MsGal]

"is off to work."
"is home."
"is off to work."
"is home."
"is off today."
"is napping."
"is going to bed early. Gotta work tomorrow morning."


I DON'T GIVE A FLIPPIN' FROG FART!!!!!

:blowup:

[Norgechica]

http://www.lamebook.com/the-pains-that-stain

:rofl2:

[Norgechica]

http://www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/tt16-21.png

[vec]

My Facebook status since Sunday night:

Congratulations America! Our government now runs the auto industry, the banking industry, the health care industry, and the student loan industry. Joseph Stalin would be proud!

[wuzzy]

Everyone is complaining about the snow on my FB :lol:

[vec]

Everyone is complaining about the snow on my FB :lol:

Why do you have snow on your Facebook? :scratchh:

[Lloyd.]

Yeah, I could get it up. by XXX via TweetDeck for iPhone

[Andyps88]

I farking hate you!

lol

[BostonGirl]

is dutch windmill not redeemable?? wouldn't work

I ain't from compton...I'm straight out the trailer.....

[laxjones77]

U dnt have to do anythin fer me to like u jus be urself nd ill always like uu....

wow.

[Hailth]

For the farmville players:

http://www.lolfbmoments.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/farmville1.jpg

Can a "game" on facebook really get that serious? :lol:

[daniel32]

For the farmville players:

http://www.lolfbmoments.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/farmville1.jpg

Can a "game" on facebook really get that serious? :lol:

:crazy: people huh? :lmao:

[Hawk2007]

i don't pay attention because I think they're all pretty dumb.

[cookiemonster.]

That lolfbmoments.com site gave me a trojan virus :blowup:

[illogical]

U dnt have to do anythin fer me to like u jus be urself nd ill always like uu....

wow.

very true

[jmegirl]

OMG :facepalm2:

"I wonder what Blackbeard would be doing right now if he was still alive...."

and then 2 posts later, she says this:

"He would probably be proposing to me right now."


Seriously? You're in love with a fictitious pirate? :crazy:

[heat1900]

something I can't read and I guess it is language or not?

[jmegirl]

Gave the waitress at the Smokehouse a $20 tip. God was speaking to me tonight. Priceless!!!

I want so badly to reply:

Actually, it would seem that God speaking to you tonight cost you $20. :bulb:

[Intrepid.]

Can anyone interpret this one for me?

Yelling WTF..,y do Ppl think im being an ass when I'm being honest ain't no bit*h made p@&$i@s where I come from you got the wrong go jump off a cliff!!

[OhNoItsDEVO]

Can anyone interpret this one for me?
I interpret it this way

http://www.chyl.org/wp-content/uploads/ramblingrhodes.mu.nu/archives/normal_Internet-SeriousBusiness.jpg

[BostonGirl]

"do u ever wish u could jump though the phone and punch people right in there face..i so wanted to do that to dustin from sprint."


don't know who dustin is, but he's in trouble..:lol:

Comcast is officially Horrible. Thank you. Good Night.

No, really??

All these bitches wanna lick my ice cream!

:bigeye:

[Princess Crunch]

:lmao:

[afrosheen]

Can anyone interpret this one for me?Yelling WTF..,y do Ppl think im being an ass when I'm being honest ain't no bit*h made p@&$i@s where I come from you got the wrong go jump off a cliff!!

Attention! Why do people think I'm incorrect when I'm being honest with them? I am not being uncouth, that is impossible with my upbringing. Please correct yourself or excuse yourself from my presence.