Divorce ... any way to protect inheritance? (No OT)

[Ram|bunc|tious]

I have a stubborn friend that has yet to visit an attorney over this as his bank account is tapped and (I think) he believes it'll cost him a ton of money to speak with someone. I've passed on suggestions and I think what he needs to do is go to a lawyer with a set of question and/or plan of action to seek their legal opinion. I want to provide him this set of questions and a possible way to avoid giving up a lump sum payment to an unfaithful wife.

The situation is this, he lives in WI where he's living apart from his wife and kids (you may recall she asked him to move out ... and her boyfriend moved in). He was left some money in an estate account in Canada and is worried his wife will try to get her paws on this money. One of the reasons it has not been distributed is to try to protect his inheritance but I think it may be a lost cause. She has gone into his bank accounts before and withdrew sums of money through various means/billpaying/etc and has left him near broke.

Can she put in a claim for his inheritance? I think she can, they were married ~5 years and he acquired the inheritance during this period. The money is in an estate, not a trust (does that matter?) btw This is not a relationship where he wants to avoid financial responsibility for the kids - in fact, I've offered to let him visit me in VA to look for a job and he's flatly refused due to the kids.

Neither of them are employed btw and neither have been for several months (last I heard she was laid off several months ago, from what I know about her, she probably isn't working but this is speculation).

No its not me, but someone important to me so keep this on topic please.

[ciaossu]

I have no experience in your specific question but from reading over the situation, the first thing he should do is withdraw all remaining money out of the current account and open a new account (whether with the same bank or a new bank) and close the old account out completely. This will prevent his wife from having any access to any of the money even if she has the account number to try and do bill payments online. It would obviously bounce (and he should notify the bank of such activities if it's happening without his consent (unless for some odd reason her name is on the account too at this point). Regardless, close the bank account and open a new one.

Next, this advice is probably not going to be the best as I don't have experience in this area so you should take this with a grain of salt but he should pass the inheritance under someone else's name so that it's not in his name and therefore there is nothing she is entitled to and seeing as how right now its under his name and its his inheritance and theres nothing that states she owns any part of it until she pursues it legally, he should be able to transfer it to someone he can trust. Maybe a close relative or sibling. Although again, I highly recommend you consult an attorney asap as they are better for advice than anyone on this forum at this point.

[RugratsGalore]

I don't have the answers but have wondered how this situation played out.

:hug:

I do know when I was going through my own divorce the length of the marriage was considered. My ex-h had also received a significant financial settlement during out marriage from an automobile/motorcycle accident. I don't know exactly how that would have played out since I wasn't asking for any of his settlement money or retirement. But, I do know that our years of marriage would have been a factor had I wanted to go for the jugular.

Edited to fix an error that was so lovingly pointed out to me in PM :annoyed:

[Ram|bunc|tious]

Good suggestion on the bank account, last I heard he had $24 and change in the account. It wouldn't hurt. Apparently she's gone through his computer using PayPal to remove the funds. PayPal and the bank couldn't help since it looked like a perfectly legal transaction.

I am also concerned about the owner/distributor of the estate. I'm worried that if my friend's inheritance is withheld, that the ex-wife will try to sue the owner/distributor.

Can my friend simply sign away his inheritance prior to divorce proceedings?

[z2g]

I don't get this. I would think that it's common sense for ppl to immediately withdraw their own funds from their accounts when they're in these situations where divorce is imminent.

[RugratsGalore]

I don't get this. I would think that it's common sense for ppl to immediately withdraw their own funds from their accounts when they're in these situations where divorce is imminent.
$24 and change? I'm positive he wasn't thinking of that. Additionally, most people begin the separation/divorce proceedings thinking they can do it on a friendly level. It rarely ends that way.

[lowpro]

Rammy, you don't think this thread is better off in the vault?

[Moot-N-Me]

I don't know for sure....but I think....

He can't take out all the $ because they will question that is court later and he will have to come up with half for her

I think he could take out all the $ and put it in an IRA or Trust/College fund/Bonds for the kids and she would have no right to it....like I said though I am not sure.

[Schooby]

Rammy...from the way I understand things..

He can indeed gift his money to a family member or whomever and then after the divorce have it regifted back.

Right now he can do what he wants with the money just like she can buy or use the money as she wants. He needs to make as little money available as possible within her reach.

Does she have a job? Pension coming? Any other assets that he can call dibs on in the process?

Divorce sucks...no matter how civil people try to be...they are going to get hurt and he'd better start protecting his own arse right now.

If he's "too nice" to play dirty then remind him that whatever he ends up with after the divorce is over with the better he'll be able to help his kids in the future.


Good luck to him and the kids.

I believe it depends on if the divorce proceedings are already in motion...as far as being able to do whatever with the money and inheritance.


< ----not a lawyer but I play one on SD. :) :lol:

[Ram|bunc|tious]

$24 and change? I'm positive he wasn't thinking of that. Additionally, most people begin the separation/divorce proceedings thinking they can do it on a friendly level. It rarely ends that way.

Yeap, that's exactly the situation. He's convinced it will go amicably and, as an outsider that is highly-distrustful of this woman, I don't believe it will proceed as smoothly.

[Ram|bunc|tious]

Rammy, you don't think this thread is better off in the vault?

Is that some sort of crazy thread in the Lounge I've ignored? ;)

I created the first thread in the Vault, things didn't end so well for me in there :lol:

[z2g]

$24 and change? I'm positive he wasn't thinking of that. Additionally, most people begin the separation/divorce proceedings thinking they can do it on a friendly level. It rarely ends that way.

It's $24 now. But, I think the wife had emptied most of the funds prior.

[BrgnHntr]

He needs to talk to an attorney before closing accounts, removing money, etc, etc. You have to be really careful about how you deal with that.

[Ram|bunc|tious]

It's $24 now. But, I think the wife had emptied most of the funds prior.

Yes, that was my understanding. The guys parents sent them money for plane fare to visit over Christmas and it "went missing" in early December (wasn't that about the time of my post when she kicked him out?)

[Ram|bunc|tious]

He needs to talk to an attorney before closing accounts, removing money, etc, etc. You have to be really careful about how you deal with that.

Yea, he's being a dumb-ass by not doing this. I've passed him several sites and numbers to call for free counseling. I even offered to pay the $20 for this exact type of service that'll speak with him on the subject for 30 minutes.

Sigh, you can lead a donkey to water, but you can't make him drink ... :sadwalk:

[Iaaaiws]

Sigh, you can lead a donkey to water, but you can't make him drink ... :sadwalk:

Too bad. There aren't many things more fun than being around a drunk donkey.

[RugratsGalore]

Yeap, that's exactly the situation. He's convinced it will go amicably and, as an outsider that is highly-distrustful of this woman, I don't believe it will proceed as smoothly.
And unfortunately, it will probably get nastier. They have children so emotions are going to be highly charged. I would suggest he fight for joint physical and joint legal custody right off the bat (going by our PM exchanges before.) It is virtually impossible to change an existing order in Michigan (I assume it is like that in most places these days) so he might as well go for all he can get right from the start.

It's $24 now. But, I think the wife had emptied most of the funds prior.
Neither have worked in some time so I'm going to assume there hasn't been anything of great significance in their accounts for awhile. Going by Rammy's previous post, they were both unemployed before this separation took place.

[BayArea]

I don't see how him taking out all the money and closing the account is unlawfull. It's his money and he just felt like taking it out and do whatever he wants with it at this moment. The fact that he's in a middle of a divorce has no connection.;)

[RugratsGalore]

Too bad. There aren't many things more fun than being around a drunk donkey.
So you've met my ex-husband?

I don't see how him taking out all the money and closing the account is unlawfull. It's his money and he just felt like taking it out and do whatever he wants with it at this moment. The fact that he's in a middle of a divorce has no connection.;)
You cannot close an account (at least in Michigan) if both spouses names are on it without the consent of both parties. That doesn't mean you can't drain it of all the funds. You just can't close it.....this goes for those not divorcing, too.

[BayArea]

Well he should drain it to the last penny and not close it :D

[Superocean]

I'm no lawyer and I have no experience with this type of stuff but I have a big mouth and I can't keep it quiet (at least on the internet). Sorry ::paperbag::
First, OP you're a good friend.

The guy seems to be an honest Joe and cares for his kids. Tell your friend it's not about $$ but it's about his future and the future of his kids. Tell him that no matter how he feels about the upcoming proceedings (divorce or if he's holding on to the chance that they may get back together), he has to protect his financial future if he wants any future at all with his kids. Let him know that most likely, she will get a lawyer (all divorce lawyers are like this) who is only interested in finding out about his $$ and making sure he can milk out as much as possible for her and his fees and if he isn't proactive about protecting his assets, the ex will end up with it and spend it with her b/f and little will end up with him or the kids. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

Sounds like he's a nice guy so tell him being the nice guy isn't what he or his kids need right now. Since he cares for his kids, tell him that he must protect his finances to be able to provide for his kids in the future. This other guy may or may not be with his ex for long but if he doesn't protect his finances, that guy and the ex could end up ruining his and his family's life for a long long time. Tell him that his $ belongs to the kids and their college fund so dont let the other guys steal $ from his kids to fund his hobby at the strip joint or his boat that he takes his other girl friends around in.

Lastly, keep supporting your friend emotionally. I'm sure he needs it.

<-- advice is worth no more than the 2 cents that I've provided.

[abeo]

Divorce laws vary from state to state, so it is best to consult with an divorce attorney before making any decisions.

In NC, any premarital assets and inheritance received (before, during or after the marriage) is exempt from any divorce distribution and is not considered marital assets.

I hope this helps.

[Gobo]

Rammy, a few notes from one of the actual lawyers on SD (though I don't practice at all in this area)

He needs to contact his local bar association and ask for a referral to someone in family law - many will do a free consultation, but will eventually require a retainer in order to keep working. If he won't make even this first step, this woman will continue to bleed him dry.

Speaking of the bleeding, as long as the accounts are in both names, it's half her money; and even if it's just in his name, it can be considered half her money, but only to a point. What she is doing constitutes fraud and theft and could be criminally prosecuted if he so chooses to press charges. Being the mother of his children, I don't see that happening, but unfortunately it is the only chance he has of getting any of that money back. Getting it back is a whole other story and he would have to prove that she didn't have authorization and that she used it for non-essential stuff out of spite and not needs like the house, car, kids, food, etc. Their house is a major issue too - moving out doesn't take your name off the mortgage and if it goes, both of their credits will be hosed.

This is what he needs to do short term: cut up all joint cards and transfer all remaining money into a new account with new cards. Go see a lawyer and start divorce proceedings. If he won't do this, he's screwed and there's nothing you can do for him.

Now to the inheretance - if the money was specifically willed to him and not them jointly, it should be his money and she can't touch it provided it never hits a joint account. However, if it was to both of them, he could be screwed, but that's a state dependant law.

Seriously, tell him to go to a lawyer and pay the damn money and call the cops on her ass - it's the only way to not kill his credit, get his money back, and protect himself and his kids from this evil spawn. You can do a divorce without a lawyer, but as soon as kids get involved, it gets real hard and he needs a disinterested advocate taking the emotion out of the situation.

Good luck

[Ram|bunc|tious]

Thanks everyone for responses and continued measure of respect.


He needs to contact his local bar association and ask for a referral to someone in family law - many will do a free consultation, but will eventually require a retainer in order to keep working. If he won't make even this first step, this woman will continue to bleed him dry.

I called him this morning and told him about the idea of signing over the will to the estate account and have it put into the estate's bank account (difference of paperwork or something which shows that it has been distributed/executed/paid/etc). Apparently its still in the estate and hasn't been distributed yet.

Speaking of the bleeding, as long as the accounts are in both names, it's half her money; and even if it's just in his name, it can be considered half her money, but only to a point. What she is doing constitutes fraud and theft and could be criminally prosecuted if he so chooses to press charges. Being the mother of his children, I don't see that happening, but unfortunately it is the only chance he has of getting any of that money back. Getting it back is a whole other story and he would have to prove that she didn't have authorization and that she used it for non-essential stuff out of spite and not needs like the house, car, kids, food, etc. Their house is a major issue too - moving out doesn't take your name off the mortgage and if it goes, both of their credits will be hosed.

Good idea, I forgot to mention to him to close all accounts / change passwords / etc. They don't own a house btw, just rent (thank God).

This is what he needs to do short term: cut up all joint cards and transfer all remaining money into a new account with new cards. Go see a lawyer and start divorce proceedings. If he won't do this, he's screwed and there's nothing you can do for him.

Apparently they've downloaded some standard forms from the internets concerning custody/alimony/etc - he's told me he would let me look over the forms (fax) or read them to me prior to signing them. Yes, I continue to ask him to see an attorney.

Now to the inheretance - if the money was specifically willed to him and not them jointly, it should be his money and she can't touch it provided it never hits a joint account. However, if it was to both of them, he could be screwed, but that's a state dependant law.

It was willed to he and his mother (estate executor) and remember it was in Canada.

Seriously, tell him to go to a lawyer and pay the damn money and call the cops on her ass - it's the only way to not kill his credit, get his money back, and protect himself and his kids from this evil spawn. You can do a divorce without a lawyer, but as soon as kids get involved, it gets real hard and he needs a disinterested advocate taking the emotion out of the situation.

His credit was screwed prior to this (I think) but I'm pushing for him to go see a lawyer. She's been good letting him have the kids every other weekend, but you're right, I'm sure she'll stoop as low as she can to get whatever she can out of it.

So you've met my ex-husband?


I shared a beer with him and boy did he have some stories to tell :shocking:


Note that I never said OP couldn't go OT :lol:

[Ram|bunc|tious]

<-- advice is worth no more than the 2 cents that I've provided.

Thanks for your comments, running ragged here or I'd spend some more time responding. In the meantime, could you send those $0.02 to my buddy ... it would increase his bank account by 0.1%. :lol:



:sadwalk:

[RugratsGalore]

Thanks everyone for responses and continued measure of respect.



I called him this morning and told him about the idea of signing over the will to the estate account and have it put into the estate's bank account (difference of paperwork or something which shows that it has been distributed/executed/paid/etc). Apparently its still in the estate and hasn't been distributed yet.



Good idea, I forgot to mention to him to close all accounts / change passwords / etc. They don't own a house btw, just rent (thank God).



Apparently they've downloaded some standard forms from the internets concerning custody/alimony/etc - he's told me he would let me look over the forms (fax) or read them to me prior to signing them. Yes, I continue to ask him to see an attorney.



It was willed to he and his mother (estate executor) and remember it was in Canada.



His credit was screwed prior to this (I think) but I'm pushing for him to go see a lawyer. She's been good letting him have the kids every other weekend, but you're right, I'm sure she'll stoop as low as she can to get whatever she can out of it.



I shared a beer with him and boy did he have some stories to tell :shocking:


Note that I never said OP couldn't go OT :lol:
;) And most of them were probably true :P

[Ram|bunc|tious]

;) And most of them were probably true :P

Oh my .... :shocking:







So ... how you doin? :evillaf:

[Gray.]

I don't know what state he is in but in my state once the divorce is filed there are certain things that each party is not allowed to do. So if he's going to move things around, he needs to do it ASAP before the divorce is filed.

[Hawk2007]

As has been mentioned, just about all that I personally know is that you can gift $13,000 or $26,000 if married to anybody.

Perhaps you can do that before April 15 and then again after April 15.

[shhaggy]

As has been mentioned, just about all that I personally know is that you can gift $13,000 or $26,000 if married to anybody.

Perhaps you can do that before April 15 and then again after April 15.

You can gift more than that actually, there's a $1M lifetime exception (in other words, the number is held against you for your lifetime, once you get to $1M it's over, and you can only get away with $13k per year).

[samurai03]

From what I remember in my financial planning class...

Inheritances are non-marital property, even in community property states.

It will varied from state to state so consult a lawyer will be best

[Ram|bunc|tious]

Thanks guys. Question: in theory, if the amount was greater than $13k, to avoid taxes could he request that $13k be deposited in his kids bank account? I do not know if his wife has access to the account (hmm... I assume she does) but I know that each of the kids have small saving accounts in their name.

[RugratsGalore]

Thanks guys. Question: in theory, if the amount was greater than $13k, to avoid taxes could he request that $13k be deposited in his kids bank account? I do not know if his wife has access to the account (hmm... I assume she does) but I know that each of the kids have small saving accounts in their name.
I would DEFINITELY not deposit it into an existing account the kids already have. If anything, I would have him open a new account that has only his kids names on there. I would see if he can exclude the other parent from having access to it.

Or, can he put it in some type of trust for the kids for a later date? I don't know much about this kind of thing but it seems that should be an option.

[Ram|bunc|tious]

I would DEFINITELY not deposit it into an existing account the kids already have. If anything, I would have him open a new account that has only his kids names on there. I would see if he can exclude the other parent from having access to it.

What if the mother doesn't have access to these accounts? or, as you suggest, create new accounts for the kids ... could up to $13k be deposited into each account and avoid inheritance tax?

[RugratsGalore]

What if the mother doesn't have access to these accounts? or, as you suggest, create new accounts for the kids ... could up to $13k be deposited into each account and avoid inheritance tax?
I don't know the answer to those questions, Rammy. But, I would definitely open a new account. The estranged wife seems pretty crafty and might find a loop hole somewhere and gain access to the gifted money to the kids. Deposit it into a new account with only the kids name and the father and don't inform the wife of the new accounts. As a precaution, I wouldn't open the new account at any of the banks the couple may have utilized in the past (or are currently using.)

[GreysFan]

I don't know the answer to those questions, Rammy. But, I would definitely open a new account. The estranged wife seems pretty crafty and might find a loop hole somewhere and gain access to the gifted money to the kids. Deposit it into a new account with only the kids name and the father and don't inform the wife of the new accounts. As a precaution, I wouldn't open the new account at any of the banks the couple may have utilized in the past (or are currently using.)

:iagree:

[SlicKitty]

I would imagine that, if there was no pre-nup, she probably can lay claim to his inheritance. I have some (not personal, but 2nd-hand) experience with friends from wealthy families and pre-nups. Without one, I think the spouse has full-claim.

I think the only way to really protect it is for him to get to an atty first, get the papers drawn, claim alienation of affection, and get her to sign. If that happens, I think he could end up okay, but if he refuses to go to an atty, I think he's leaving himself wide-open.

Why would he refuse to see an atty? Is it because he doesn't want a divorce and is afraid that she will see attys as an act of aggression?


One more thing to add - if he does open a new acct, make sure it's not with the same banking chain that his wife uses. Interestingly, the other day, I went in and pulled money (accidentally) out of my husband's UNLINKED savings account. You heard me...my husband has his own, personal savings account, and the cashier gave me money out of his account (to which I should not have access). I didn't know my svgs acct number off the top of my head (I have 2 in my name), so I just said, "Pull the $$ out of savings acct w/the most $$, please." His has more than either of mine. She pulled the $$ out of his acct. Shouldn't happen, but it did.

It just made me think of any of my friends who are not on good terms with their spouses.

[Ram|bunc|tious]

I don't know the answer to those questions, Rammy. But, I would definitely open a new account. The estranged wife seems pretty crafty and might find a loop hole somewhere and gain access to the gifted money to the kids. Deposit it into a new account with only the kids name and the father and don't inform the wife of the new accounts. As a precaution, I wouldn't open the new account at any of the banks the couple may have utilized in the past (or are currently using.)

Ok, fair enough. What about taxes ... anyone familiar with that? If $13k is distributed to each of the 3 accounts they can avoid paying taxes, right?

[Ram|bunc|tious]

I would imagine that, if there was no pre-nup, she probably can lay claim to his inheritance. I have some (not personal, but 2nd-hand) experience with friends from wealthy families and pre-nups. Without one, I think the spouse has full-claim.

I'll leave it for him to contact a lawyer and find out for sure, but many folks (including myself) are under the impression that inheritance are non-marital assets.

Why would he refuse to see an atty? Is it because he doesn't want a divorce and is afraid that she will see attys as an act of aggression?

I think you're right on there. He's only implied to cost aspect of an attorney, but I think he is afraid that she'll go for broke with an attorney and he'll lose visitation or something. Right now its amicable, he gets the kids every other weekend.

One more thing to add - if he does open a new acct, make sure it's not with the same banking chain that his wife uses. Interestingly, the other day, I went in and pulled money (accidentally) out of my husband's UNLINKED savings account. You heard me...my husband has his own, personal savings account, and the cashier gave me money out of his account (to which I should not have access). I didn't know my svgs acct number off the top of my head (I have 2 in my name), so I just said, "Pull the $$ out of savings acct w/the most $$, please." His has more than either of mine. She pulled the $$ out of his acct. Shouldn't happen, but it did.

:jawdrop:

[Pig]

This may sound stoopid...but if it's sub-100K and he wants to end this amicably and wants to have a good relationship with the children's mother....why not come out clean about the inheritance and offer to split it 50/50 with her? (ETA - I'm not aware of the reason for the divorce...)

[Ram|bunc|tious]

This may sound stoopid...but if it's sub-100K and he wants to end this amicably and wants to have a good relationship with the children's mother....why not come out clean about the inheritance and offer to split it 50/50 with her? (ETA - I'm not aware of the reason for the divorce...)

Fair question. Maybe its a bit selfish on his end (and our end for judging her). She's receiving a ton of support from her family in WI while his family is outside the state. The animosity towards her is that she was (allegedly) unfaithful in the marriage, (allegedly) took a good portion of his savings out of the bank, and then asked him to move out of the house/apartment they were renting (which allowed her to move her boyfriend in who currently resides there).

Not a bad suggestion though stepping back a bit, he wants to provide for his kids (but damn if she doesn't blow a ton of money on crap she doesn't need ... for instance, who the hell needs a blackberry when you're unemployed?)

[SlicKitty]

Here (http://www.womansdivorce.com/divorce-inheritance.html#INHERITANCE)is some great information. It looks like it depends on how he has handled the assets.

[Ram|bunc|tious]

That helps, thanks. Bascially affirms the consistent thought that if he doesn't co-mingle the inheritance by putting it into an account they share then it is not a marital asset.

Thanks everyone :worship:

[Superocean]

OK now that that matter seems to have been resolved, I think your friend should sue the boyfriend for alienation of affection (http://www.experienceproject.com/question-answer/Wife-Sued-Her-Husbans-Mistress-For-9-Million-Dollars/158636) or something. If a wife can do it so can a husband right.
Seems some lady won $9 Million so if he can prove it and win, he can really screw over the new boyfriend. I dont' know if his ego would remain intact but that's a fair way to bring about Karma IMO.

[Illusvfyre]

Getting ready to through a divorce at this time and I have a similar issue. Grandparents left me a substancial sum of money in a trust fund. I have spoken with an attorney and because an inheritance is considered a gift, it is considered personal property and the spouse can not touch it. Unless, he/she has put their spouse's name on the account, at that point it would be considered joint property and the spouse would be entitled to half.

[mrsjawshewa]

In Milwaukee, Cordell and Cordell are the attys for Men's side of the divorce...they have done an exceptional job for a friend of mine who separated then divorced his gold-digging wife of 8 yrs. They had 2 children together and his net worth is about $10mil.

They are not expensive and have a free mtg to assess the situation.

[SlicKitty]

That helps, thanks. Bascially affirms the consistent thought that if he doesn't co-mingle the inheritance by putting it into an account they share then it is not a marital asset.

Thanks everyone :worship:

Yep, so it would seem. Good to know in advance, rather than after the fact!

OK now that that matter seems to have been resolved, I think your friend should sue the boyfriend for alienation of affection (http://slickdeals.net/?&u2=http://www.experienceproject.com/question-answer/Wife-Sued-Her-Husbans-Mistress-For-9-Million-Dollars/158636) [experienceproject.com (http://slickdeals.net/?&u2=http://www.experienceproject.com/question-answer/Wife-Sued-Her-Husbans-Mistress-For-9-Million-Dollars/158636)] or something. If a wife can do it so can a husband right.


Anyone can sue for alienation of affection.

[Ram|bunc|tious]

OK now that that matter seems to have been resolved, I think your friend should sue the boyfriend for alienation of affection (http://www.experienceproject.com/question-answer/Wife-Sued-Her-Husbans-Mistress-For-9-Million-Dollars/158636) or something. If a wife can do it so can a husband right.
Seems some lady won $9 Million so if he can prove it and win, he can really screw over the new boyfriend. I dont' know if his ego would remain intact but that's a fair way to bring about Karma IMO.

Two things prevent this: (1) neither of them have jobs/money, that's the reason that the inheritance is key for him - it will be his livelihood for awhile and (2) he wants to maintain a healthy relationship with his children (both still young).

Getting ready to through a divorce at this time and I have a similar issue. Grandparents left me a substancial sum of money in a trust fund. I have spoken with an attorney and because an inheritance is considered a gift, it is considered personal property and the spouse can not touch it. Unless, he/she has put their spouse's name on the account, at that point it would be considered joint property and the spouse would be entitled to half.

Blah. Sorry to hear that but I hope it works out for you.

[Ram|bunc|tious]

In Milwaukee, Cordell and Cordell are the attys for Men's side of the divorce...they have done an exceptional job for a friend of mine who separated then divorced his gold-digging wife of 8 yrs. They had 2 children together and his net worth is about $10mil.

They are not expensive and have a free mtg to assess the situation.

Thank you - he's a bit outside the city but I'll pass the name onto him. Despite insistence from his family and friends, I'll bet you a shiny nickel that he doesn't see an attorney.

[mrsjawshewa]

Thank you - he's a bit outside the city but I'll pass the name onto him. Despite insistence from his family and friends, I'll bet you a shiny nickel that he doesn't see an attorney.

I wish him the best then. But for you I would pull away from this, sounds like your friend is being a) hopeful for some unlikely reconcilliation b) self-destructive or c) on a pity-party (i.e. toxic)

He has more than adequate support info to protect himself and his kids, sounds like he's just not interested in losing the 'attention' he gets from being a zombie.

Be a good friend and don't allow him to pull you down as well.

Take care...

[Ram|bunc|tious]

Thanks hon, he's not looking for attention, I'm sticking my nose into his business. (big surprise there :lol: ) Only so much you can do for someone before you let them fall.

[cari77]

So you've met my ex-husband?


You cannot close an account (at least in Michigan) if both spouses names are on it without the consent of both parties. That doesn't mean you can't drain it of all the funds. You just can't close it.....this goes for those not divorcing, too.


I'm in South carolina and when I went to the bank after my husband left I asked them to take his name off it (not close it) they said they could only take his name off if he was there. but they let me withdraw all the $ and close it.....

[SlicKitty]

I'm in South carolina and when I went to the bank after my husband left I asked them to take his name off it (not close it) they said they could only take his name off if he was there. but they let me withdraw all the $ and close it.....


Here, too.

[Ram|bunc|tious]

fwiw I've sent my dear friend 3k for a divorce attorney. Apparently the one he's has spoken with wants $2,500 as a retainer (does that sound right?). He's working now, paying some support costs, and does get his kids two weekends a month.

Any Loungers live near Madison, WI? I'd like to be able to find him a good attorney, not just one that he's picked out of the yellow pages.

[TigerStar]

fwiw I've sent my dear friend 3k for a divorce attorney. Apparently the one he's has spoken with wants $2,500 as a retainer (does that sound right?). He's working now, paying some support costs, and does get his kids two weekends a month.

Any Loungers live near Madison, WI? I'd like to be able to find him a good attorney, not just one that he's picked out of the yellow pages.

$2500 sounds low if the lawyer thinks it will be a contentious divorce. Depends on his hourly rate. At $250 an hour, that's 'only' 10 hours.

[Illusvfyre]

$2500 sounds low if the lawyer thinks it will be a contentious divorce. Depends on his hourly rate. At $250 an hour, that's 'only' 10 hours.

Agree $2,500 is low. My retainer was $5,000, and my divorce is uncontested and we're using a private judge (rather than going through the court system). This is Ohio though. Divorce will be finalized on Friday, July 30th. Yay!!! Almost over with.

Should have your friend look into dissolution/uncontested divorce if possible. They they tend to be less expensive than a contested divorce. The key with dissolution or uncontested is that both parties have to agree to the terms of the divorce. Typically this will take some time going back and forth between the attorneys, I was lucky my soon to be ex, pretty much agreed to my original submission (few minor changes, nothing major). There are attorneys that specialize in dissolutions and uncontested divorces and they know how to talk to both parties and to help things get worked out and move along.

In my case, the soon to be couldn't afford an attorney so we just used mine. Made things a little easier, as we didn't have her attorney telling her she could get more and drag things out.

[Piccaboo]

I'm in South carolina and when I went to the bank after my husband left I asked them to take his name off it (not close it) they said they could only take his name off if he was there. but they let me withdraw all the $ and close it.....

For those whom don't want to get screwed over and see their money disappear, not saying you did so - you may always ask a bank to put a hold on the account and request that two signatures be needed before any funds are withdrawn on a joint account - most banks will abide with this - and then it will take both persons being there to withdraw the monies. So if there are marital problems on the horizon, this is one way to stop the monies from disappearing.

[Ram|bunc|tious]

Should have your friend look into dissolution/uncontested divorce if possible. They they tend to be less expensive than a contested divorce. The key with dissolution or uncontested is that both parties have to agree to the terms of the divorce. Typically this will take some time going back and forth between the attorneys, I was lucky my soon to be ex, pretty much agreed to my original submission (few minor changes, nothing major). There are attorneys that specialize in dissolutions and uncontested divorces and they know how to talk to both parties and to help things get worked out and move along.

Good suggestion, I'll pass that along.

For those whom don't want to get screwed over and see their money disappear, not saying you did so - you may always ask a bank to put a hold on the account and request that two signatures be needed before any funds are withdrawn on a joint account - most banks will abide with this - and then it will take both persons being there to withdraw the monies. So if there are marital problems on the horizon, this is one way to stop the monies from disappearing.

Apparently he's opened new bank accounts (previous ones nearly drained).

The estate has not distributed the money yet and he suggested that the inheritance be sent to me :evillaf: and I could send him funds as needed. Estate is in Canada btw ... I believe the estate is responsible for taxes. Am I exposing myself here?

In Milwaukee, Cordell and Cordell are the attys for Men's side of the divorce...they have done an exceptional job for a friend of mine who separated then divorced his gold-digging wife of 8 yrs. They had 2 children together and his net worth is about $10mil.

They are not expensive and have a free mtg to assess the situation.

Thanks, I will send him this information (although his net worth may be less than attorney fees!). Certainly worth a call.

[Piccaboo]

Apparently he's opened new bank accounts (previous ones nearly drained).

The estate has not distributed the money yet and he suggested that the inheritance be sent to me :evillaf: and I could send him funds as needed. Estate is in Canada btw ... I believe the estate is responsible for taxes. Am I exposing myself here?



I think you have a source, although a bit unreliable at this stage, that might be able to give you some information in this regard, although the memory can be jogged on older items such as this, it's quite possible that source maybe your best friend, if you get my drift here ;)

Though for exposure, unless you are out pulling your pants down around poison ivy, that's why would talk to your source you have at your disposal, since it's not within the "States", :nod:

Though once this Estate is settled and the monies distributed, I don't see any issue with you being sent the inheritance to be deposited in his name and your name, with his SS# on the account, so you draw no penalty with interest for IRS purposes, and you send him funds as needed, as you said. I can't see where this would raise any red flags. The monies have never co-mingled with any of the ex-'s monies there whatsoever. All that has transpired is you are the "gate-keeper of the funds" dispersing them as needed to the "friend". Sorta as a "trustee" in lieu of actually being one, set up legally.

Just make sure if you did this, that if anything happened to said "friend" and he wanted the monies to go to his children, you had a document drawn up - stating any funds left in said account would go to the children. As the account with monies left would then belong to you, as it would be setup as a joint account. You don't want to not have his children have the funds left, if anything happened to said "friend". Btw - people reading this truly won't understand :nono:

[TigerStar]

I think you have a source, although a bit unreliable at this stage, that might be able to give you some information in this regard, although the memory can be jogged on older items such as this, it's quite possible that source maybe your best friend, if you get my drift here ;)

Though for exposure, unless you are out pulling your pants down around poison ivy, that's why would talk to your source you have at your disposal, since it's not within the "States", :nod:

Though once this Estate is settled and the monies distributed, I don't see any issue with you being sent the inheritance to be deposited in his name and your name, with his SS# on the account, so you draw no penalty with interest for IRS purposes, and you send him funds as needed, as you said. I can't see where this would raise any red flags. The monies have never co-mingled with any of the ex-'s monies there whatsoever. All that has transpired is you are the "gate-keeper of the funds" dispersing them as needed to the "friend". Sorta as a "trustee" in lieu of actually being one, set up legally.

Just make sure if you did this, that if anything happened to said "friend" and he wanted the monies to go to his children, you had a document drawn up - stating any funds left in said account would go to the children. As the account with monies left would then belong to you, as it would be setup as a joint account. You don't want to not have his children have the funds left, if anything happened to said "friend". Btw - people reading this truly won't understand :nono:


Oh, we understand. He's going to set up a joint acct with some Canuck and then bump off the 'friend' so he makes out like a bandit.

Shit, sorry, just noticed the "No OT".

[slutsky]

I've heard a guy sold his house to his dear friend for 1 dollar just to avoid his wife to get his property. He owns cars and houses. He waited until he "liquidated" all his fortune before he signed that divorce paper. He had $1 left in this bank account and probably still lives in "his friend's house" unless he bought it back already.

[TigerStar]

I've heard a guy sold his house to his dear friend for 1 dollar just to avoid his wife to get his property. He owns cars and houses. He waited until he "liquidated" all his fortune before he signed that divorce paper. He had $1 left in this bank account and probably still lives in "his friend's house" unless he bought it back already.

Any law school graduate could easily get half the actual value of said assets for the ex-wife. Selling for a $1 doesn't work.

The more I think about it, unless the house was paid in full (no mortgage) there's no way he could ahve sold it for a $1. Period.

[slutsky]

Any law school graduate could easily get half the actual value of said assets for the ex-wife. Selling for a $1 doesn't work.

The more I think about it, unless the house was paid in full (no mortgage) there's no way he could ahve sold it for a $1. Period.

I have no law knowledge, you probably right that this is another bar story. But how if he owns that houses before the marriage?

[Ram|bunc|tious]

Good points Picc, if your cooking & OTs are as good as your memory, then you're a keeper ;)

Shit, sorry, just noticed the "No OT".

:bonk: but :lol:

I actually like the way Picc spelled it out. I wasn't really comfortable having the monies deposited into one of my active accounts.

[Ram|bunc|tious]

I've heard a guy sold his house to his dear friend for 1 dollar just to avoid his wife to get his property. He owns cars and houses. He waited until he "liquidated" all his fortune before he signed that divorce paper. He had $1 left in this bank account and probably still lives in "his friend's house" unless he bought it back already.

Not a chance this would work as the governement wants its tax money. Anything sold that far below market value will raise all kinds of red flags.

My BF in RL bought a BMW from a dealer (who is a friend in RL as well). The blue book value of the car is ~$25k, he bought it for $19k, and the dealer, trying to be helpful, gave him an invoice for $16k. The DMV rejected it and wouldn't give him tags. Not sure where he is on this situation, but this has occurred within the last two weeks.

[TigerStar]

I have no law knowledge, you probably right that this is another bar story. But how if he owns that houses before the marriage?

Even if he owned the house prior to marriage, if there is a mortgage, he isn't selling it for $1.

If he owned it outright, any decent lawyer would require him to disclose any liquidation of assets for 6 months to a year prior to filing for divorce and would be able to show actual value of assets and get half of that value for the ex wife.

Not a chance this would work as the governement wants its tax money. Anything sold that far below market value will raise all kinds of red flags.

My BF in RL bought a BMW from a dealer (who is a friend in RL as well). The blue book value of the car is ~$25k, he bought it for $19k, and the dealer, trying to be helpful, gave him an invoice for $16k. The DMV rejected it and wouldn't give him tags. Not sure where he is on this situation, but this has occurred within the last two weeks.

:gay-hand-emoticon:

[Ram|bunc|tious]

:gay-hand-emoticon:

(whoops ... I'm guessing BF doesn't mean best friend?) :doh:

You got a problem with this type of lifestyle? :scratchh:

[TigerStar]

(whoops ... I'm guessing BF doesn't mean best friend?) :doh:

You got a problem with this type of lifestyle? :scratchh:

Boy friend. :P

If you are okay with that alternative life style, I'm okay with it.

Just don't teach your daughter about it.

[zzyzzx]

http://www.nomarriage.com

[slutsky]

Not a chance this would work as the governement wants its tax money. Anything sold that far below market value will raise all kinds of red flags.

My BF in RL bought a BMW from a dealer (who is a friend in RL as well). The blue book value of the car is ~$25k, he bought it for $19k, and the dealer, trying to be helpful, gave him an invoice for $16k. The DMV rejected it and wouldn't give him tags. Not sure where he is on this situation, but this has occurred within the last two weeks.

That happened to me once. RMV in MA will use bluebook value for any car sales tax.

[Piccaboo]

Good points Picc, if your cooking & OTs are as good as your memory, then you're a keeper ;)



:bonk: but :lol:

I actually like the way Picc spelled it out. I wasn't really comfortable having the monies deposited into one of my active accounts.

It would not be in one of your active accounts - it would be an entirely separate account between you and "said friend" as I said with said friends SS# being on the account - with said friend being listed first and you second on the account - thus you not being held responsible for whatever interest generates from said account. Think wisely here :bowdown: With the document drawn up, stating if anything happened to "said friend" any monies left would then be distributed to "said children of friend" when they "become of age" - it could be drawn up that way as well - in order to not have "said ex" blow the monies as well. Think of the possible ways to draw up such an agreement - put that legal mind at work - mine is at work here - but I gotta run now - I promised a friend a favor today - and it's about that time I gotta do it for them :)

Not a chance this would work as the governement wants its tax money. Anything sold that far below market value will raise all kinds of red flags.

My BF in RL bought a BMW from a dealer (who is a friend in RL as well). The blue book value of the car is ~$25k, he bought it for $19k, and the dealer, trying to be helpful, gave him an invoice for $16k. The DMV rejected it and wouldn't give him tags. Not sure where he is on this situation, but this has occurred within the last two weeks.

Most States now use the Blue Book Value of a Vehicle, and if you try to sell a vehicle for far below the BBV - they will tag you for it - and not allow it to go through - that is why the DMV rejected that one :nod: Unless it has a Flood Title on it - it simply will be rejected.

[SlicKitty]

http://www.nomarriage.com (http://slickdeals.net/?&u2=http://www.nomarriage.com)


You read advice from a guy who can't spell spatula? :lol:


Sorry...to be on topic, didn't we have this discussion about a year ago, and you ended up with a link to some lawyers that gave some pretty good advice? I thought that was you...

[Ram|bunc|tious]

What about a divorce mediation attorney?

Article about them in the USA Today: http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2010-07-25-friendly-divorces_N.htm

[wes]

I have no law knowledge, you probably right that this is another bar story. But how if he owns that houses before the marriage?

Yeah you hear those stories every now and then. One of my roomates was actually working to get advantage of one of those deals with a female friend of his, diffence was the guy was dumb enough to put only her name on the house and sleep around on her. So he was being far to shady for his own good.

It's more of "what's the biggest way I can say frack you?"

[Piccaboo]

What about a divorce mediation attorney?

Article about them in the USA Today: http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2010-07-25-friendly-divorces_N.htm

Divorce Mediation Attorney's only work if both parties are really in agreement with this idea; my friend and her husband used this and it worked for them, and they had children as well. The reason it worked for them was due to the fact that she was tired of "him" and simply wanted the marriage over and done with and did not want to spend a lot of money with each of them having their own Attorney and running up legal fees. In the end, she ended up signing away her rights to his Social Security, her rights to claiming two of the three children of which she was raising on her income tax, and a host of other items, which went in his favor - all because she was simply sick to death of "him" and wanted the marriage to end. The Mediation Attorney makes each person write down all their assets and their liabilities, and and because he was in Real Estate he was able to write off a lot of expenses bringing down his total income. If the "wife" in the situation you are speaking of does not work, and the "husband" does not work - this may not be the ideal situation or maybe - it depends on a lot of particulars - and I would keep that inheritance totally out of the picture - because if I understand it correctly - that inheritance has not come to be as of yet - is that not so?

Both parties use the same Attorney in a Divorce Mediation situation, so there is no hiding anything from each other - though it does save a lot in the way of fees - and not fighting each other with opposing Attorney's who are simply running up the bill for each of the parties involved.

[idkMyBFFist]

The easiest way to protect assets is by killing the other person!! :evil:

[gets]

What about a divorce mediation attorney?

Article about them in the USA Today: http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2010-07-25-friendly-divorces_N.htm

I finally got a chance to read through this thread, and wanted to chime in.
Im a certified mediator down here in Florida, but not an attorney. This would be a great option thats not only cost effective but a huge time saver. However, you're really couunting on both people being amicable and reasonable for this to work. Unfortunately, I dont know if thats how itll play out.
Dont know how it is in your state, but you can either do the mediation beforehand (skip courts, and set up an agreement to divorce - including child custody and distribution of wealth) or after the courts suggestion (which is a requirement here in Florida).
Also, theres two other routes to consider. One is getting an arbitrar. The one thing about arbitration is, it leaves no say to either party; the arbitrar simply reviews the info and declares a distributoin by themselves that is pretty much unnegotiable.
The other is a cheaper route in mediation which is pro se mediation. This is the same as mediation, except no lawyers involved only a mediator and the two clients. Good is significantly reduced fees, bad is youre handling legal issues without a lega rep which may be overlooking legal rights to either party.
I usually would only do pro se as per consultation, but in very amicable cases as well.

[zzyzzx]

The easiest way to protect assets is by killing the other person!! :evil:

http://www.sportsofboston.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/021910_oj_simpson.jpg