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View Full Version : If You Feel You Are Being Harrassed Or Abused By Another Member Of This Board


SweetestChana
07-23-2007, 03:39 PM
There have been some complaints lately about harassment on one of the boards. If you feel that you have been harrassed or abused by another member contact a moderator. It is best not to respond directly to the other member as it may inflame the situation.

1. If someone has posted something in a thread that you feel is inappropriate DO NOT respond to them. Click on the "Mod Alert" button (the abbreviation for Mod Alert is MA) and explain why you feel the comment was inappropriate and ask them to delete the post. It is up to their discretion whether the post will be deleted or not. If you do not agree with their decision you can private message (the abbreviation for private message is PM) that moderator or another moderator and explain the situation. Ask them why the matter was decided as it was.

NOTE: You can click on "Quick Links" which is in the black bar on the top of the page and go down to "View Mod Alerts" and click on that to see if action has been taken on your MA. Some of the moderators will type in a reason.

2. The "Thumb's Down" (the abbreviation for Thumb's Down is TD) Bandit - Unfortunetly there are people on Slick Deals who will for some reason (anger, spite?) click on every one of another members posts and give it a TD. If you notice a trend in your posts (or any other members posts) to get all or almost all TD's first DO NOT give them a Thumb's Up to get rid of the TD because it may make it harder for the moderator to figure out what is going on. Next you need to PM a moderator and tell them you see a trend developing. It is very helpful for the moderators if you include links to some threads that have been TD'd. DO NOT delete this PM in case the moderator needs to check with you again. They will usually (in my experience) contact you if some action has been taken.

3. If another member sends you a PM that is harrassing, malicious or in some way inappropriate you need to forward that PM to a moderator and ask that something be done about it. Keep the original PM and any responses from the moderator just in case.

4. If you see one or more of the above happening to you from the same member again you need to contact a moderator, explain the situation and ask them to look into it. Always try to keep documentation of any MA's, posts or PM's that target you personally because the moderators will need this to document and back up whatever decision they come to.

5. Unfortunetley the moderators cannot regulate certain types of attitudes. If the situation gets to the point that you cannot bare to read another one of this other members posts you can place them on ignore. To do this click on the "User CP" (located all the way to the left in the black bar on the top of the page), then click on "Buddy / Ignore Lists", type their nickname under where it says "Add New User to List" and click "Save List. Thats it, you will not see any threads started by that member or posts by that member while they are on your ignore list. (Ask someone else about the "Buddy List", I don't really use it. Sorry guys!) I do have one person on my ignore list, he is there because he makes alot of snide comments.

Remember, these people only have power over us if we allow them to. Probably 99% of the people I have encountered on this board are really nice and are here to get some good deals and have some fun. If we allow this 1% to bully us and we don't say anything then it is the same as giving them permission to do so. I know the natural reaction is to let it go, but don't, because it will not end with you. Please remember this. Thank you all.

P.S. I will try to keep up with this thread and will move to the first post any ideas, suggestions etc. that may warrant further attention.

finzz2dlft
07-23-2007, 03:45 PM
:worship: Excellent advice and info, Isis!! Thanks for the valuble reminders. :nod:

Harleygurl
07-23-2007, 04:35 PM
:worship: Excellent advice and info, Isis!! Thanks for the valuble reminders. :nod:

I agree!!

Now, finzz, quit harassing me!!!! :hug: :heart:

finzz2dlft
07-23-2007, 06:09 PM
I agree!!

Now, finzz, quit harassing me!!!! :hug: :heart:


HG, you are too cute for your own good!!! :whip: :lol: :hug:

serra
07-23-2007, 10:05 PM
i had no idea this goes on. :comfort: sorry to all those people who are being harassed/abused.

Harleygurl
07-24-2007, 03:48 AM
HG, you are too cute for your own good!!! :whip: :lol: :hug:

:hug:

lolu13
07-24-2007, 11:08 AM
Thanks for creating this thread. I certainly hope that it will prevent or curtail any future harassment from other members. The T/D issue is what sabotaged me. I got pelted, just like Isis did. I assume it was for spite....however, what comes around goes around, b/c that poster lost her voting privileges.

I encourage everyone to wathc for trends. Report it, just like OP said. Let the mods handle it. We can do without the difficult people here on SD!!! :)

Nuala'sMom
07-26-2007, 08:36 AM
Very helpful info. Thanks for posting it Isis - good advice all around.

I was shocked recently to learn that a couple members who I trusted and held in high esteem were routinely engaging in this kind of behavior. I only came upon it by accident when I saw an innordinate number of thumbs downs for four or five users. I clicked on one user's profile and saw a pattern of pages and pages of thumbs downs to the same 3 users and then clicked an some of the people who always praise that user and saw that their friends were ganging up on the same 3 users. I was quite heartbroken . it just goes to show ya, huh?

After that, I started clicking on the new profiles feature whenever I had a bad feeling and letting the Mods know if I saw a definite pattern. Sometimes it seems there is a pattern because the same user will often post totally worthless deals but that's not harassment - harassment is when someone routinely thumbs downs another user or users regardless of the value of the deal.

I would also guess that where there is thumbs down gangs there is also rep trading but that isn't something a regular user can detect. I think it pays to remmeber that online communities just like any other are susceptible to bullies and bullies often travel in packs.

Isis's advice is timely and valuable because more than anything else, bullies want to get a reaction from their target. Don't play into their hands - turn it over to the mods.

mistressnyx
07-26-2007, 10:16 AM
You go girl!!! Thank you for creating this thread and hope that many others can find this useful. It really is a problem. So.. thank you!! :) :hug:

Taxman1976
07-26-2007, 12:16 PM
is there a way we can request to be harassed/stalked? its been a while since i have felt the love

MissyMooMoo
07-26-2007, 12:32 PM
is there a way we can request to be harassed/stalked? its been a while since i have felt the love



:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

finzz2dlft
07-26-2007, 05:55 PM
is there a way we can request to be harassed/stalked? its been a while since i have felt the love

C'mere, you! :whip: **begins stalking Taxman** :lol:

Scampsters
07-27-2007, 08:48 PM
C'mere, you! :whip: **begins stalking Taxman** :lol:

Finzz routinely stalks and harsses me mind you i do enjoy it.

Taxman1976
07-28-2007, 08:42 AM
C'mere, you! :whip: **begins stalking Taxman** :lol:

wooohoooo...was that you at my window with the video camera and a midget?!?! you really should have come in, lol

finzz2dlft
07-28-2007, 05:20 PM
Finzz routinely stalks and harsses me mind you i do enjoy it.

All in a day's work! :lol: :hug: How are ya, Scampi?

wooohoooo...was that you at my window with the video camera and a midget?!?! you really should have come in, lol

:whistlin: :lol:

Oddbeani
08-06-2007, 04:36 AM
Hypothetically:

What if you have been legitimately harassed, threatened, even after repeatedly attempting to end contact with the individual(s) in question and nothing is done about it? Even after it's MA'd and still nothing? Who do you go to when no one seems to deal with it, and the harassing statements and vulgarities still come?

arjunsr
08-06-2007, 07:10 AM
Hypothetically:

What if you have been legitimately harassed, threatened, even after repeatedly attempting to end contact with the individual(s) in question and nothing is done about it? Even after it's MA'd and still nothing? Who do you go to when no one seems to deal with it, and the harassing statements and vulgarities still come?
it all lies with legitimately harassed. some people's definitions are a lot more skewed than others.

Nuala'sMom
08-10-2007, 08:38 AM
I would suggest ignoring everything. I don't read half the PMs I get (that look suspicious) and I refuse to read any PMs that have no subject since those are usually the ones with profanity. I tend to get 3 types of PMs - Wonderful and friendly ones, casual but warm and friendly ones and then hate mail. The hate mail is the least of my PMs but I can usually tell it is hate mail without even opening it and therefore I don't open it. I just leave it there for a long time in case I have to forward it to a Mod.

If they are posting in your threads - learn to just move along. There are still a few people who routinely thumb me down but they are tired of this and don't do it much anymore. Once the mods made it so that any user can click on another users vote history and see their little campaigns against others all kinds of people shaped up real fast.

I suggest ignoring this stuff as much as you can.

MissyMooMoo
08-10-2007, 09:05 AM
I would suggest ignoring everything. I don't read half the PMs I get (that look suspicious) and I refuse to read any PMs that have no subject since those are usually the ones with profanity. I tend to get 3 types of PMs - Wonderful and friendly ones, casual but warm and friendly ones and then hate mail. The hate mail is the least of my PMs but I can usually tell it is hate mail without even opening it and therefore I don't open it. I just leave it there for a long time in case I have to forward it to a Mod.

If they are posting in your threads - learn to just move along. There are still a few people who routinely thumb me down but they are tired of this and don't do it much anymore. Once the mods made it so that any user can click on another users vote history and see their little campaigns against others all kinds of people shaped up real fast.

I suggest ignoring this stuff as much as you can.

I agree. It's best just to ignore the comments that bother you. Super sensitive people are just going to end up being hurt and frustrated on a public board unless they learn to not let it get to them.

andykk
08-13-2007, 12:28 AM
oh,i can't agree with you more!!!!great Info..thank you..

Nuala'sMom
11-06-2007, 10:08 AM
I'm bumping this thread - -it's message is especially useful right now given what's going on in the freebie forum.

To those being harrassed :

Follow Isis's advice and consider learning to hold your tongue too. Nothing makes a bully happier than knowing that they got to you.

CoconutCookie
11-06-2007, 10:38 AM
I didn't know that giving a thumbs-up to counter the unwarranted thumbs-downs made it harder for the mods to figure things out -- sorry :( I have been doing just that when I think it's a good deal/freebie because I feel so bad for the people getting the thumb-downs for no apparent reason (other than someone being mean). Well, on the bright side, at least I know better now and will know that it won't help matters and may actually make it more difficult. (I honestly would have never guessed though :( )

kel_be
11-06-2007, 10:55 AM
I didn't know that giving a thumbs-up to counter the unwarranted thumbs-downs made it harder for the mods to figure things out -- sorry :( I have been doing just that when I think it's a good deal/freebie because I feel so bad for the people getting the thumb-downs for no apparent reason (other than someone being mean). Well, on the bright side, at least I know better now and will know that it won't help matters and may actually make it more difficult. (I honestly would have never guessed though :( )

We can see who votes what. And most of the time, the people who vote thumbs down are habitual TD voters. And the Mods also know which member gets TD'ed purposely most of the time. We can figure out who is voting to be nice, and who is voting to be spiteful.