PS cracarjax, you will burn in hell I hope.
Freaking stupid post farked up my perfect server.
Now I cannot reinstall, because there is something wrong with the distro.
Thanks, I appreciate that. You CAN reinstall because the install instructions have you untar a rather old working copy of arch linux to your device. Simply do not run a full system update via pacman and you will be fine.
In case anyone is interested in Samba on this, I just tested it out and I'm saturating my network bandwidth with the file xfer speed from my external drive through the pogoplug at ~80Mbps.