expired Posted by phoinix | Staff • Feb 26, 2024
Feb 26, 2024 6:04 PM
Item 1 of 2
Item 1 of 2
expired Posted by phoinix | Staff • Feb 26, 2024
Feb 26, 2024 6:04 PM
Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be (eBook)
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That said, I think the whole underlying principle is wrong and actually quite harmful.
If I could summarize, this is Fox News for moms. It's a philosophy that focuses first on what feels good to moms (and presumably dads although that doesn't seem to be the target market). No one likes punishing their kids. Everyone wants to be their kids' best friend. This book preys on those emotions. It's full of contradictions. My wife feels that it really speaks to her, and I look at the struggle she's always had with discipline with her and her parents and kids. This book/philosophy has made that worse, not better. It makes me sad, honestly.
I tend to find some principles that are logical, reasonable and helpful from different sources, and we do our best to build our own "toolbox" and aim to be as consistent as possible with the principles.
I don't mind this books general idea of not focusing on punishment and more on the why's of behavior and connection. I also find that it's reminder that repair is a great tool and to not focus on being perfect or not making mistakes, but doing your best. Being willing to always repair is also just good relationship advice in general that we forget too often, so, great to instill those tools in our children by example.
I find adults who seem to still be "recovering" from not getting that connection aspect when they struggled as children.
I think for some people they need to have punishment as part of the process, they just feel weird without it, and that's fine. A book like this can help them get a balance of okay, I'll punish reasonably, but, I'll also prioritize connection and figuring out why's and not swing so far to just modifying behavior; and I'll also make repair a priority.
I think describing this book or approach as harmful is really an exaggeration. Maybe it didn't work for you or your wife, but it did work for my wife and me. Again, take it with a grain of salt. Not everything is relevant to everyone. Not every child responds the same to every strategy. But the book gives tons of different examples and tools to use in different situations, and it's hard to believe that any parent will not find at least some of them useful
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That said, I think the whole underlying principle is wrong and actually quite harmful.
If I could summarize, this is Fox News for moms. It's a philosophy that focuses first on what feels good to moms (and presumably dads although that doesn't seem to be the target market). No one likes punishing their kids. Everyone wants to be their kids' best friend. This book preys on those emotions. It's full of contradictions. My wife feels that it really speaks to her, and I look at the struggle she's always had with discipline with her and her parents and kids. This book/philosophy has made that worse, not better. It makes me sad, honestly.
The whole point of any parenting literature is to build your tools over time so that your default responses become closer to what you want (never perfect) and so that you are quicker to catch yourself when you default to something you don't think is the best way.
Parenting is stressful, but similar to other stressful activities, jobs, etc, you learn and practice the tools for better outcomes before the situations so that when the situations arise you are better prepared. You learn the tools from any parenting advice and practice them in the small / less stressful moments so that when those bigger moments come, you have at least a little more than just knee jerk reactivity to go with.
That said, I think the whole underlying principle is wrong and actually quite harmful.
If I could summarize, this is Fox News for moms. It's a philosophy that focuses first on what feels good to moms (and presumably dads although that doesn't seem to be the target market). No one likes punishing their kids. Everyone wants to be their kids' best friend. This book preys on those emotions. It's full of contradictions. My wife feels that it really speaks to her, and I look at the struggle she's always had with discipline with her and her parents and kids. This book/philosophy has made that worse, not better. It makes me sad, honestly.
I tend to find some principles that are logical, reasonable and helpful from different sources, and we do our best to build our own "toolbox" and aim to be as consistent as possible with the principles.
I don't mind this books general idea of not focusing on punishment and more on the why's of behavior and connection. I also find that it's reminder that repair is a great tool and to not focus on being perfect or not making mistakes, but doing your best. Being willing to always repair is also just good relationship advice in general that we forget too often, so, great to instill those tools in our children by example.
I find adults who seem to still be "recovering" from not getting that connection aspect when they struggled as children.
I think for some people they need to have punishment as part of the process, they just feel weird without it, and that's fine. A book like this can help them get a balance of okay, I'll punish reasonably, but, I'll also prioritize connection and figuring out why's and not swing so far to just modifying behavior; and I'll also make repair a priority.
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Our community has rated this post as helpful. If you agree, why not thank Moooshe
That said, I think the whole underlying principle is wrong and actually quite harmful.
If I could summarize, this is Fox News for moms. It's a philosophy that focuses first on what feels good to moms (and presumably dads although that doesn't seem to be the target market). No one likes punishing their kids. Everyone wants to be their kids' best friend. This book preys on those emotions. It's full of contradictions. My wife feels that it really speaks to her, and I look at the struggle she's always had with discipline with her and her parents and kids. This book/philosophy has made that worse, not better. It makes me sad, honestly.
I think describing this book or approach as harmful is really an exaggeration. Maybe it didn't work for you or your wife, but it did work for my wife and me. Again, take it with a grain of salt. Not everything is relevant to everyone. Not every child responds the same to every strategy. But the book gives tons of different examples and tools to use in different situations, and it's hard to believe that any parent will not find at least some of them useful
Regarding the premise that we are all good inside, who can argue with that? That's the pop psychology designed more for making moms feel good than helping kids be well-adjusted.
Anyway, I suspect the primary reason for this ebook to be discounted is that the author's subscriber count to her online community is dropping. Cost is about $90 quarterly, not cheap.
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