The Anals of Java: From Bums to Millionaires

Coffee grows in dozens of countries around the world. Some varieties have earned a special reputation, often based on a combination of rarity, unusual circumstances and particularly good flavor. These coffees command a premium price. But no coffee in the world is in such short supply, has such unique flavors and, um... an interesting background as Kopi Luwak.





Kopi Luwak is the world's most expensive coffee. The main factor of its high price is the uncommon method of production. Kopi (coffee) Luwak (palm civet cats), or coffee from the palm civet cats; long regarded by the natives as pests, they climb among the coffee trees eating only the ripest, reddest coffee berries. And what they eat, they must also digest, and eventually...





Under Dutch colonial rule, the indigenous workers were forbidden from picking coffee berries for their own use. But the natives noticed that the palm civet also ate the coffee berries that they were harvesting, and that the coffee beans appeared intact in the civets' excrements. They collected these droppings and tried roasting the beans.



"Their gastrointestinal tract is used to combine the beans and the gastric juices to give these coffees... its unique flavor... and, um... aroma."


Eventually, the plantation owners caught wind of this, tried it, and became convinced that it was the better coffee. This was in part due to the superior selection process over the untrained workers at the time, as the civets choose which berries are most ripe and flawless to eat. But greed and cruel marketing nonsense held dominion over reason, and Kopi Luwak was introduced to Europe, and from there, spread around the world.





Harvesting bum-nugget is like scavenging for poop-truffle, with a much smaller payoff. The obvious thing to do to capitalize on the hype, then, was to industrialize the production. Wild civets are caught by poachers, caged and force-fed coffee berries in order to crap out the beans for the pleasure of the wealthy who buys this "incredibly rare" and very expensive "luxury" coffee.





If that wasn't enough, farmers from other places started to force-feed their animals: elephants, bats, Brazilian Jacu birds, and Bonobo monkeys, you name it. Black Ivory Coffee, for example, is a brand of coffee produced in Thailand from Arabica coffee beans fed to elephants and collected from their waste. But for the good shit from Jacu birds? Buyers are willing to pay big.





And now, your next door neighbor? The cultural obsession with fecal coffee has taken a new turn, as one Portland area man is apparently selling his own personal "kopi luwak style" coffee on Craigslist. A joke? Not a joke?







The Problems with Kopi Luwak today are serious for so many reasons it's a miracle there is still a market for it. More than 80% of all coffee sold as Kopi Luwak is fake. Civet coffee is adulterated with regular coffee, or poop-less. It hasn't even been near a civet cat, much less through one.



Weasel Coffee, from Vietnamese civet cats. "No it is not the real thing…"


Some critics call Kopi Luwak the worst-tasting coffee in the world and trace the hype surrounding it exclusively to the novelty of its origins and exorbitant price. "It's not that people are after that distinct flavor. They are after the rarity of the coffee." What has created the myth, and what was peddled, still remains today.



"It's the best coffee, it's really good: smooth, earthy, and a bit musky."


While a pound might be bought from the farmer for $45 or so, by the time it gets to the market, it's nowhere near that, selling for over $1,300 per pound. "We are a bit surprised, a bit perplexed." said Alberto Pat-og, 60, a retired school principal. He does not understand why foreigners are willing to pay so much for this shit. His son added with a big grin, "We are ignorant."



At Harrods in London (2016)



Plagiarized Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kopi_Luwak
https://www.britannica.com/topic/Kopi-Luwak
http://www.expatgo.com/my/2016/05...opi-luwak/
https://www.theguardian.com/lifea...t-the-crap
https://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/1...offee.html
http://www.sallybernstein.com/bev..._luwak.htm
http://www.most-expensive.coffee/...g-process/
https://www.sciencenews.org/blog/...-you-think
http://nordiccoffeeculture.com/wh...-avoid-it/
https://news.nationalgeographic.c...Indonesia/
https://www.npr.org/sections/thes...oop-coffee
https://theexoticbean.com/blog/co...om-civets/
https://sprudge.com/say-no-to-kop...15101.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Ivory_coffee
https://sprudge.com/shock-portlan...30242.html