Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
Californian surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in California . In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
Meh, I just don't find those funny. It's not about Nancy Pelosi, it's about 'generic woman' and people just insert the name they want to make it about. I could tell that joke about Sarah Palin or...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
A very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes him as a basketball
player. They start to talk, and eventually, go back to his place.
They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
But Confucious has been wrong at times. Man with 4 balls cannot walk.
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
I think my nose is deeply racist. Every time I sneeze I go "A Jew."
***
Yo mama so promiscuous...She'll go zero to 69 in under fifteen seconds
***
Duke University Medical Center is...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
Not gonna deny it, I :lol:'d
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
The flight was coming into Dallas when a combination of mechanical errors and unstable weather caused the plane to start plummeting to the ground!
The pilot feverishly worked his controls, and...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel in Washington.
The bride is concerned "What if the place is still bugged?"
The groom says "I'll look for a bug."
He looks behind the drapes,...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
One day, a scuba diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level.
Looking around, he noticed a guy at the same
depth but without any scuba gear on.
The diver decided to go down...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
What kind of pants does Mario wear?
Denim, Denim Denim
(You have to say it out loud for it to make sense, haha)
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just as it was going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."
Passenger: Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
Last week I checked into my hotel in Tampa and was a bit lonely. I thought, I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone books like escorts and such. I picked up the phone book and found...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
a nice clean one....
Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created
10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.
9. God knew that one...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
You might be a "high tech redneck" if....
You might be a "high tech redneck" if....
- your email address ends in "over.yonder.com"
- you connect to the WWW via "Down Home Page"
- your bumper...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
This is Leroy's homework
assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence.
1. Hotel -
>> I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the hotel everybody.
2. Dictate -
>> My girlfriend say my...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
Jennifer visited a psychic of some local repute.
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered
grave news:
"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
Bill Gates meets Hugh Grant at a Hollywood party. They are talking and Bill says: Ive seen some great pictures of Divine Brown lately, I sure would like to get together with her!
Hugh replies:...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”The pharmacist asked, “Why in the...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
Guy jokes
I was walking through the
cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone.
I said "morning." He said "No just taking a shit.
*********
I went to an...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
IF men wrote Advice Columns
Dear Bob,
I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.
He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
One very cold night, a young man dropped into the local brothel and the madam said, "You'll have to wait."
"But there's lots of girls that aren't busy right now."
"Yes, but several of the rooms...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
hahah! I like that. Short, simple, and funny.
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
A man and his wife are on vacation in Jamaica it's their honeymoon, so they're partying really hard the guy gets really drunk and decides to have his wife's name "Wendy" tatooed on his penis so she...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! What are you doing?"
The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
I hate it when they say that !
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
Mebbe if you'd do it some place other than your beat up fema trailer :lol:
***
Sister Catherine was asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
Bubba and Junior get promoted from Privates to Sergeants. Not long after, they're out for a walk and Bubba says, "Hey, Junior - there's the NCO Club. Let's you and me stop in and have us a drank."
...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
hehe :lol:
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
Ok, I probably totally butchered this, but I tried to type it up like I heard it:
A man goes to his local golf club and he was stopped by a worker. "We have a priest who is interested in learning...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
A 31-year old smart professional NY woman goes grocery shopping. She wonders along the aisles and picks up stuff on her cart. At the checkout line, a fat drunk man comes up and stands next to her. As...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
The Test
A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, ''''What is 2+2?'''' The engineer thought awhile and finally answered,...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
Famous Last Word
I'll get a world record for this. Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press. It's fireproof. He's probably just hibernating. I'm making a citizen's arrest. So,...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
:vomit:
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
And A Lawyer Made Man
A surgeon, an architect an a lawyer are having a heated barroom discussion concerning which of their professions is actually the oldest profession.
The surgeon says:...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
What You Learn About Computers In Movies E-mail
There are some interesting things you can learn about the behavior of computer in movies (and in television). Here's a list of some of the more...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
TY :)
I got some more :)
Feeling Guilty
A young woman took her troubles to a psychiatrist. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date a nice guy, I end...
Laughter makes you live longer - Jokes Megathread!!
Thread created 12-02-2003 by daem0n
-16 Score
1,240 Replies
152,767 Views
Twelve Irish priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before...
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