Joined Dec 2007
~~~~~VVILES~~~~~~
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RETIRED: Wiles OFFICIAL Thread----LOTS OF BEER, Hot Mess Countdown to the Superbowl! and creative lollies!
October 2, 2008 at
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Community Wiki
Smiley Dictionary
is what girls do to boys
is what boys do to girls
is humping
is group humping or some sort of orgy
is boobies
So, what exactly is a gayberry?
hot mess avy's thanks to sonofabeech




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So, what exactly is a gayberry?
Uh, who's gonna take this one?
I'll give it a shot. It's a made up term (I think Briang developed the slang but for some it caught on like wildfire) for any kind of berry or fruit that a person would use to make a fruit smoothie to drink, instead of drinking beer like a manly man, such as Briang. Some people even speak the language Gayberrolian. How'd I do Matt? |




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Take the bottles of beer out of the paper bag when you drink them.
OMG Wiles, you are going to be the rebound. Doooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn't dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.
I like the FedEx guy, cause hes a drug dealer and he dont even know it! And hes always on time.
I went to a pizzeria. I ordered a slice of pizza. The farker gave me the smallest size possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, the farker gave me the "donate it to charity" slice. "I would like to exchange this for the 'Keep It'."
I wanna be a race car passenger -- just a guy who bugs the driver: Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why we gotta keep goin' in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide...
I got a roommate. I live in New York City. I got roommate to save money. But, see, I farked up cuz I'm 31 and I'm too old for a roommate. I farked up severely. I signed a year lease, too. I really farked up. It's like I wrote a joke that didn't work, but now I have to tell it for a year. My roommate says, "I need to shave and use the shower. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird-ass quiz where he reveals the answer first...
I get the Reese's candy bar. If you read that name Reese's thats an apostrophe "S". Reese's apostrophe "S" on the end of that name. That means the candy bar's his. I didn't know that. Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar and a guy name Reese comes by and says "let me have that." You better hand it over. "I'm sorry, Reese. I didn't think I'd ever run into you... You're a farkin' bully, man! Let me at least have a piece."
As an adult, I'm not supposed to go down slides. So, if I'm at the top of a slide, I have to act like I got there accidentally. "How'd I get up here, God damnit!? I guess I have to slide down. WEEEEE!!!!" That's what you say when you're having fun — you refer to yourself and some other people.
!
You know they call corn-on-the-cob "corn-on-the-cob" right? But that's how it comes out of the ground, man. They should call that "corn." They should call every other version "corn-off-the-cob." It's not like if you cut off my arm you would call my arm "Mitch." But then reattach it and call it "Mitch-all-together."
I was in downtown Boise, Idaho, and I saw a duck, and I knew the duck was lost, cuz ducks ain't supposed to be downtown. There's nothin' for 'em there. So I went to a Subway sandwich shop, I said, "Let me have a bun." But she wouldn't sell me just the bun, she said that I had to have something on it. She told me it's against regulations for Subway to sell just the bun. I guess the two halves ain't supposed to touch. So I said, "Alright, well, put some lettuce on it," well she did. They said, "That'll be $1.75." I said, "It's for a duck." They said, "All right, well, that is free." See, I did not know that: Ducks eat for free at Subway! Had I known that, I would have ordered a much larger sandwich. "Lemme have the Steak Fajita Sub - but don't bother ringing it up, it's for a duck! There are six ducks out there, and they all want Sun Chips!"
for kara:
When I play the south, they say y'all in the south... they take out the "O" and the "U." So when I'm in the south I try to talk like that so people understand me. "Hello, can I have a bowl of chicken noodle s'p? C'mon I'm in the south, you understand. I mean, I'm in the s'th and I want some s'p. I stubbed my toe! 'ch! I need to lay down on the c'ch... I need to get the fark 't of the s'th."
When me and my friends would trip on acid, we used to go into the woods, cause there was less of a chance that we'd run into an authority figure. But we ran into a bear, that was even more of a buzz-kill. There was my friend Duane, raising his right hand, swearing to help prevent forest fires. We got away from the bear, he puts his arm around me and says "Mitchell, Smokey is way more intense in person."
I saw a jar of jellybeans was having a contest at this fair, it said "Guess how many jelly beans there are in the jar and you win a prize"... ah c'mon, man, lemme just haaaave some. Let's make a compromise, you guess how many I want... if you said a handful, you are right.
for frog:
In England, Smokey the Bear is not the forest fire prevention representative. They have Smaquis the Frog. It's just like a bear, but it's a frog. I think it's a better system, I think we should adopt it. Because bears can be mean, but frogs are always cool. Never has there been a frog hopping toward me, and I thought "Man, I'd better play dead. Here comes that frog..." You never say here comes that frog in a nervous manner. It's always optimistic. Hey here comes that frog, all right. Maybe he will settle near me so I can pet him, and stick him in a mayonnaise jar, with a stick and a leaf, to recreate what he's used to. And I'm pretty sure I'd have to punch some holes in the lid, because he's damn sure used to air. Then I can observe him, and he won't be doing much in his 16-ounce world.
There's a commercial on late-night TV for this thing you attach to a garden hose. It says, "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product." Who the fark would make their plants hard to reach!? That seems so very mean. "I know you need water, but I'm gonna make you hard to reach. I will throw water at you. Hopefully, they'll invent a product before you shrivel and die. Think like a cactus!"
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means it's dirty.
I especially hate turtlenecks. I wear a turtleneck it's like being strangled by a really weak guy... all farkin' day. If you wear a turtleneck and a backpack it's like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
y'all are
Ok, so I have only been in the office 1.5 hours and it feels like an eternity. I can feel a sick day coming on.
I farkin' hate arrows, man. They try to tell me which direction to go. It's like, "fark you, I ain't going that way... line with two-thirds of a triangle on the end!" Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime... "Look at that dead guy... Let's go that way."
I bought house. It's a two bedroom house, but I think it's up to me how many bedrooms there are. Don't you? "fark you, real estate lady, this bedroom has a oven in it! This bedroom has a lot of people sittin' 'round watching TV. This bedroom's over in that guy's house. Sir, you got one of my bedrooms. Are you aware? Don't decorate it!"
I'd like to see a forklift lift a crate of forks. It'd be so damn literal. You are using that machine to its exact purpose! That machine has been misunderstood for years...
They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. But I tried to make it at home, there's more to it than they act. "Want some more homemade Sprite?" "Not til you figure out what the fark else is in it."
I hope the next time I move I get a real easy phone number. Something that's easy to remember. Something like, 222-2222. I would say sweet. People would say, "Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?" I would say, "Press 2 for a while, and when I answer, you will know that you have pressed 2 enough."
Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. "Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic." "Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupus" One of those two doesn't sound right.
y'all are
Ok, so I have only been in the office 1.5 hours and it feels like an eternity. I can feel a sick day coming on.
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I saw a jar of jellybeans was having a contest at this fair, it said "Guess how many jelly beans there are in the jar and you win a prize"... ah c'mon, man, lemme just haaaave some. Let's make a compromise, you guess how many I want... if you said a handful, you are right.
for frog:
In England, Smokey the Bear is not the forest fire prevention representative. They have Smaquis the Frog. It's just like a bear, but it's a frog. I think it's a better system, I think we should adopt it. Because bears can be mean, but frogs are always cool. Never has there been a frog hopping toward me, and I thought "Man, I'd better play dead. Here comes that frog..." You never say here comes that frog in a nervous manner. It's always optimistic. Hey here comes that frog, all right. Maybe he will settle near me so I can pet him, and stick him in a mayonnaise jar, with a stick and a leaf, to recreate what he's used to. And I'm pretty sure I'd have to punch some holes in the lid, because he's damn sure used to air. Then I can observe him, and he won't be doing much in his 16-ounce world.
There's a commercial on late-night TV for this thing you attach to a garden hose. It says, "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product." Who the fark would make their plants hard to reach!? That seems so very mean. "I know you need water, but I'm gonna make you hard to reach. I will throw water at you. Hopefully, they'll invent a product before you shrivel and die. Think like a cactus!"
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means it's dirty.
I especially hate turtlenecks. I wear a turtleneck it's like being strangled by a really weak guy... all farkin' day. If you wear a turtleneck and a backpack it's like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
y'all are
Ok, so I have only been in the office 1.5 hours and it feels like an eternity. I can feel a sick day coming on.
He's like my good friend, he's cute, he's needy of some affection. He has a nice house and a cute dog too.
I like the turtleneck joke.
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