Joined Nov 2005
L10: Grand Master
Forum Thread
New neighbors - don't appear to be very bright - how to help?
May 28, 2020 at
11:07 AM
I live on a shared driveway with 2 other houses. I am the most senior of the owners (been here 10 years) - the house immediately next to mine (the middle house on the driveway, I live at the end) just sold at the end of Feb. The prior owners were great, guy knew how to take care of his house and were self-sufficient. When we moved in 10 years ago, I took his lead on things like - where the property line is/who mows the lawn to which point, how snow is handled, etc.
The new people I have met once, stopped by at the very beginning to say hello. Mid-40's, no kids, 2 cats. I got the impression they weren't very social people, which is OK, but this whole covid shit has really kicked that into high gear.
Anyway, they came from an apt high rise. Everything I've seen from them all points to the idea that they don't know what they are doing. Problem is, it's rolling over into my property, like how they didn't bother to mow the lawn for 2 weeks until it got a foot high and now there are clumps everywhere (they hired someone to do it). top top it off, our property lines are not obvious and they are leaving an entire area unmowed - you'd think that they'd get the drift that they should mow it if I'm not mowing it, but apparently they don't.
They made a small garden in their yard which we are still debating if it's a garden or a pet cemetery as it's just a circle of sticks with some dirt in the middle and some kind of plants.
I've previously dropped a note in their mailbox just offering our contact info (cell #'s) and names of everyone - even if you're antisocial it's still good to know who your neighbors are and how to contact them.
I am wondering how else I could offer some suggestions without seeming overbearing. Another example - when they first moved in they had a generator delivered (it was obvious as it was delivered on a flatbed. Also since I have been working from home, the computer sits right in front of a window with direct view of their house, so I notice any cars that come up the driveway). It just so happened that a few weeks later our power was out overnight due to a storm. I had my generator running, and I could see the guy struggling from 250 ft away, or at least I'll say he was fiddling with the generator with a can of gas nearby and not once did I hear it running. He didn't want to message me then apparently, and I didn't want to just roll up and offer help (overbearing again).
Did I mention they also have a pool? That's going to go well I know it right now...
The new people I have met once, stopped by at the very beginning to say hello. Mid-40's, no kids, 2 cats. I got the impression they weren't very social people, which is OK, but this whole covid shit has really kicked that into high gear.
Anyway, they came from an apt high rise. Everything I've seen from them all points to the idea that they don't know what they are doing. Problem is, it's rolling over into my property, like how they didn't bother to mow the lawn for 2 weeks until it got a foot high and now there are clumps everywhere (they hired someone to do it). top top it off, our property lines are not obvious and they are leaving an entire area unmowed - you'd think that they'd get the drift that they should mow it if I'm not mowing it, but apparently they don't.
They made a small garden in their yard which we are still debating if it's a garden or a pet cemetery as it's just a circle of sticks with some dirt in the middle and some kind of plants.
I've previously dropped a note in their mailbox just offering our contact info (cell #'s) and names of everyone - even if you're antisocial it's still good to know who your neighbors are and how to contact them.
I am wondering how else I could offer some suggestions without seeming overbearing. Another example - when they first moved in they had a generator delivered (it was obvious as it was delivered on a flatbed. Also since I have been working from home, the computer sits right in front of a window with direct view of their house, so I notice any cars that come up the driveway). It just so happened that a few weeks later our power was out overnight due to a storm. I had my generator running, and I could see the guy struggling from 250 ft away, or at least I'll say he was fiddling with the generator with a can of gas nearby and not once did I hear it running. He didn't want to message me then apparently, and I didn't want to just roll up and offer help (overbearing again).
Did I mention they also have a pool? That's going to go well I know it right now...
About the OP
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As far as the mowing, try to catch whoever they are paying to mow and point out the property lines to them and they can sort it out. If the new owners aren't clear on the property lines obviously the lawn service isn't going to know either. And if there is an area not getting mowed and it isn't on your property then it shouldn't matter to you.
The new people I have met once, stopped by at the very beginning to say hello. Mid-40's, no kids, 2 cats. I got the impression they weren't very social people, which is OK, but this whole covid shit has really kicked that into high gear.
Anyway, they came from an apt high rise. Everything I've seen from them all points to the idea that they don't know what they are doing. Problem is, it's rolling over into my property, like how they didn't bother to mow the lawn for 2 weeks until it got a foot high and now there are clumps everywhere (they hired someone to do it). top top it off, our property lines are not obvious and they are leaving an entire area unmowed - you'd think that they'd get the drift that they should mow it if I'm not mowing it, but apparently they don't.
They made a small garden in their yard which we are still debating if it's a garden or a pet cemetery as it's just a circle of sticks with some dirt in the middle and some kind of plants.
I've previously dropped a note in their mailbox just offering our contact info (cell #'s) and names of everyone - even if you're antisocial it's still good to know who your neighbors are and how to contact them.
I am wondering how else I could offer some suggestions without seeming overbearing. Another example - when they first moved in they had a generator delivered (it was obvious as it was delivered on a flatbed. Also since I have been working from home, the computer sits right in front of a window with direct view of their house, so I notice any cars that come up the driveway). It just so happened that a few weeks later our power was out overnight due to a storm. I had my generator running, and I could see the guy struggling from 250 ft away, or at least I'll say he was fiddling with the generator with a can of gas nearby and not once did I hear it running. He didn't want to message me then apparently, and I didn't want to just roll up and offer help (overbearing again).
Did I mention they also have a pool? That's going to go well I know it right now...
It's not your property, and unless they're doing something that endangers you or your property, let it go, for goodness sake. Continue to be friendly and offer a hand if they seem to need it. They seem to be figuring things out in their own time.
Some people just aren't that interested in being close friends with their neighbors.
It's not your property, and unless they're doing something that endangers you or your property, let it go, for goodness sake. Continue to be friendly and offer a hand if they seem to need it. They seem to be figuring things out in their own time.
Some people just aren't that interested in being close friends with their neighbors.
When we first moved here it was an old couple and one of their adult kids living in an old house on one side and a vacant lot on the other. The vacant lot got sold to an older couple wit an adult kid living at home. The new people were quiet and I think I can count on one hand the number of times we exchanged pleasantries in the time they lived there.
Meanwhile from day one the old man of the couple on the other side was bossy as fark. A real joy to get along with. Both of the older folks in that house passed away and their daughter that lived upstairs (and used to sun herself on the roof in a bikini
So then a couple that I guess flips houses for a living (moved from CA to CO to here in PA) moved in and stayed there for two years. I think I talked to them maybe three times in two years. Now it's a bunch of younger kids living there (think renting the place) and I had a brief conversation with one of them for 5 minutes in the two months they've lived here.
The lady on the other side who bought the house from the old couple with the adult kid living at home? Yeah. Let's not get into that c word (RIP).
I think that's why I'm so standoffish with new neighbors and people in general. Because every time I try being friendly it bites me in the ass or people think they can walk all over me (ain't happening, got that enough in school for 10 lifetimes).
As for the OP's neighbors, I too wait a long time to cut my grass and there are indeed clumps left on it. It's MY lawn. I have bad allergies and practically choke to death. But I'm too broke (and/or cheap) to afford a lawn service. So I cut it when I feel like it.
Until a few years ago, the guy/wife that lived in the house closest to the road were similar. In fact over the 6 years we lived here simultaneously, I doubt I saw his wife twice. I'd see him occasionally usually walking his trash to the curb, but that's it. We'd exchange words, hello, etc. We did have a brief chat when I moved in, and he said he had his driveway plowed. I am OK with that.
Again I am not looking to be BFF's but simply having a line of communication open for when it's needed shouldn't be considered an unusual.
Until a few years ago, the guy/wife that lived in the house closest to the road were similar. In fact over the 6 years we lived here simultaneously, I doubt I saw his wife twice. I'd see him occasionally usually walking his trash to the curb, but that's it. We'd exchange words, hello, etc. We did have a brief chat when I moved in, and he said he had his driveway plowed. I am OK with that.
Again I am not looking to be BFF's but simply having a line of communication open for when it's needed shouldn't be considered an unusual.
Get some of those little wire orange flags and delineate the property line, then just mow up to that line. I'd think your neighbors' lawn guy would get the idea.
The plowing thing you may may have to actually talk to him about an equitable division of labor.
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As far as snow removal, if I bought a place at the end of a shared driveway I would just go in thinking I might have to clear the whole thing myself and then if something else got worked out that would just be a bonus. If you want an agreement you better start working on it. It is quite possible they haven't even considered snow removal if they haven't ever had to think about it in the past in an apartment building.
You said you took the previous owner's lead for these things. Maybe now it is time for you to step up and lead the new owners instead of figuring they should just know how things should be done.
It's sad that it took nearly four hours for the obvious solution to be posted. The Lounge really has gone downhill.
It's sad that it took nearly four hours for the obvious solution to be posted. The Lounge really has gone downhill.
Your brain fart lasted that long?