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Real-life drama at the beach ... Rammy's in trouble again ... apparently the wife doesn't like me taking pictures of other women
July 22, 2009 at
10:01 AM
in
Cameras
Amongst the ~200 photos I took last week at the beach, I snapped 3-4 pictures of some hotties that were walking up and down the beach. The wife took great offense to this and I thought it was playful at first but (as women are apt to do) an argument ensued which turned into her giving me the cold, silent treatment for the next 24 hours. She indicated I was "to take pictures of only her & the kids".
Disrespectful? Immature? In hindsight a little, but in her words "I'm married, I'm not dead". I wasn't peeping through a peephole at some ESPN hottie, I was taking a picture of someone strolling a few yards in front of me proudly displaying the goods that God gave her. Just how insecure can she be?
Is this a potential for a double standard? The wife had a massage at a day spa from a "young surfer dude" who was checking her out. Do I come out with the directive "no man can touch you except for me at any time". To take it to another level, shouldn't I be able to get lap dances (I don't btw) without feeling guilty. I agree that's extreme, but give me a break.
I thought things had cooled down the next day or two (makeup OTs) but then out of the blue the wife went through and deleted the pictures on my camera - which simply pissed me off. The following is all that's left. It was intended to be a humorous presentation to the lounge: (a) picture of hotties, (b) picture of wife holding up hand in front of camera, (c) picture of ocean as wife punched hubby in stomach.
Disrespectful? Immature? In hindsight a little, but in her words "I'm married, I'm not dead". I wasn't peeping through a peephole at some ESPN hottie, I was taking a picture of someone strolling a few yards in front of me proudly displaying the goods that God gave her. Just how insecure can she be?
Is this a potential for a double standard? The wife had a massage at a day spa from a "young surfer dude" who was checking her out. Do I come out with the directive "no man can touch you except for me at any time". To take it to another level, shouldn't I be able to get lap dances (I don't btw) without feeling guilty. I agree that's extreme, but give me a break.
I thought things had cooled down the next day or two (makeup OTs) but then out of the blue the wife went through and deleted the pictures on my camera - which simply pissed me off. The following is all that's left. It was intended to be a humorous presentation to the lounge: (a) picture of hotties, (b) picture of wife holding up hand in front of camera, (c) picture of ocean as wife punched hubby in stomach.
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Last Edited by daniel32
July 23, 2009
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03:57 PM
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532 Comments
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But go ahead and call me a name if it makes you feel better.
She controls what pictures you take. She controls when you have sex (hardly ever).
Of course it's a double standard.. She knows she can walk all over you.
I know this is overly blunt, but you need to read a book on assertiveness so you don't constantly get walked over. She is probably going to throw some tantrums at first, but she needs to learn that you are not her puppet.
Our relationship, like many healthy ones, is a "give and take" relationship. She generally has control, but (I like to think) I have final say on matters that I care to take a stand. The kids know this, when Daddy puts his foot down, its not moving. I did make it clear to her (after the fact, when I discovered the photos were deleted) that this was unacceptable of her to do. She protested with some lame excuse but saw I was serious and backed off.
Sure, I'm on a leash at times but when it gets too tight I tell her to let it go or I'll pull.
The deleting of the pics does indicate 'control issues'. She could have asked you nicely to delete them instead of invading your personal space. That would have still been bad but more appropriate. Does she also go through your computer, wallet and pant pockets to. Just because people are married you dont give up the rights to have your own personal space and shit.
Magazine pics - not real men = photoshopped.
Looking at men on the streets is notthe same as taking pictures.
Try again.
Like I said before, even the men here thought it was odd and creepy that Rammy was taking these pics. I can only imagine wtf the wife was thinking.
I just don't see the point of it until Rammy said it's for lounge humor. Even then, I'd probably chose a different way of humoring the lounge (not because my wife would care, but just because... it's odd taking pictures of strangers even if you think they're hot), but that's just me
You did read where Rammy said he wants to stay married, right?
Your last comment is very telling.. Do you think the man needs to be totally submissive for a marriage to work? I don't. I also don't think the woman should be submissive either.
These "other women" were just people walking on the beach. How is that different than taking pictures of a seagull?
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Where do you draw the line? I think this line varies in each relationship.
What he did was no different than taking pictures of the ocean or landscape. The wife was very petty to go through and delete his photos. They were his, not hers.
Let's turn it around. Should the man be allowed to forbid her to get messages? Should the man be allowed to go through her stuff and destroy what makes him insecure? I don't think so. If Rammy was a woman poster, and her husband was controlling, I'd give the same advice.
I don't need to explain my POV. It's clearly very different from yours, different marriages have different 'rules' and that wouldn't be acceptable in mine. My husband has a 'right' to have all the pictures of bikini clad and naked women he wants. But, that doesn't mean I'll be okay with it. His giving up that right is part of the agreement of being married to me and a choice he has/had his own free will to make.
If he didn't want hot guys giving me massages on the beach, he has the right to ask me not to and I'd respect that. I prefer my massages from women anyway.
That's why you spend so much time dating and learning about the other person before getting into a committed relationship. If there are enough differences then you walk away before it gets too serious.
Where do you draw the line? I think this line varies in each relationship.
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I just don't see the point of it until Rammy said it's for lounge humor. Even then, I'd probably chose a different way of humoring the lounge (not because my wife would care, but just because... it's odd taking pictures of strangers even if you think they're hot), but that's just me
I find it odd, too, FTR. If I saw a guy doing this on the beach, it would seriously creep me out.
Your last comment is very telling.. Do you think the man needs to be totally submissive for a marriage to work? I don't. I also don't think the woman should be submissive either.
These "other women" were just people walking on the beach. How is that different than taking pictures of a seagull?
Where did I say she was going to divorce him over 3 beach pictures? Stop trying to twist my words to fit your needs.
And if I really have to explain to you the difference between a seagull and a woman, then you simply need more help than I can provide.