expiredphoinix | Staff posted Jan 23, 2026 09:32 AM
Item 1 of 3
Item 1 of 3
expiredphoinix | Staff posted Jan 23, 2026 09:32 AM
30.5-Oz Chock Full o' Nuts New York Roast Ground Coffee (Dark Roast)
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but found out shortly, with disgust,
that this is nothing worthy of a cup—
just New York's ego, roasted up.
They say it's bold, they say it's tough,
like subway rats and attitudes rough,
but one small sip will make it clear:
this tastes like burnt dreams and Times Square fear.
It's bitter as a taxi fight,
overpriced and never quite right,
with notes of garbage strike in June,
and hubris steeped beneath the moon.
They charge you fifteen bucks a pound
for beans that should stay underground,
then claim it's "artisan" and "rare"—
like pigeons crapping everywhere.
So here's my verdict, blunt and plain:
this coffee's like the L train—
it promises you'll get a lift,
but leaves you late and slightly miffed.
Next time I'll trust what labels say,
and keep New York roasts far away.
I wanted nuts—at least they're honest.
This coffee's just... the Bronx at its "finest."
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but found out shortly, with disgust,
that this is nothing worthy of a cup—
just New York's ego, roasted up.
They say it's bold, they say it's tough,
like subway rats and attitudes rough,
but one small sip will make it clear:
this tastes like burnt dreams and Times Square fear.
It's bitter as a taxi fight,
overpriced and never quite right,
with notes of garbage strike in June,
and hubris steeped beneath the moon.
They charge you fifteen bucks a pound
for beans that should stay underground,
then claim it's "artisan" and "rare"—
like pigeons crapping everywhere.
So here's my verdict, blunt and plain:
this coffee's like the L train—
it promises you'll get a lift,
but leaves you late and slightly miffed.
Next time I'll trust what labels say,
and keep New York roasts far away.
I wanted nuts—at least they're honest.
This coffee's just... the Bronx at its "finest."
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Sign up for a Slickdeals account to remove this ad.
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