RETIRED: The VVileswrog Thread where HOW ABOUT THOSE JETS!!

I think Ref is strung out on codeine

sorry, cant understand what youre saying, must be all the cock in your mouth

hi Belle

go back a page or two and read about the midget
took me a long time to type that out

so I have a story that I promised Arj

its called the Midget

One day I was out drinking at a bar
I was sitting there, paid for my first drink and started to watch football
I was flying solo
yes, I do go drinking alone

but I dont always go home alone

so this guy across the bar buys me a drink
I get an expensive beer
then he buys me another
he's nice
I must have a few in me by now
and I come back from the ladies room and he's sitting next to me

we drink its all good
he's pretty nice
I tell him my real name, where I work and where I will be the next day
this was some years ago
I am far smarter now

so we go, he's going to walk me to my car
I'm being a good girl

he hops off the bar stool

man I MUST have been farked up
cuz I didnt notice he was a midget

now, he wasnt an ACTUAL dwarf
he was just freaking tiny
like 4'10? A miniature person

no offense to any little people here, Clive or anyone else,

so of course I am polite and let him hug me that is it though
next day he calls me at work and says he's going to the bar

now, just go to anohter bar, right? Um no
it was karoake and $1 beers at the brewpub
that was NOT an option

I go, he shows up
actiing like its a DATE and getting pissy at my friend for being there
OMG he was all dressed up in this tiny suit

like a miniature ken doll

an angry mini ken

so I do what comes natureallly, I get drunk
and drunker

oh so I see this kid there me and my ex used to drink yagerbombs and watch MNF with

he's all where's drew

we broke up hes a douche
oh
cool
wanna make out?
sure
we likely had a couple drinks prior to that
so we go outside
oh he had a class in the morning some weekender thing

did I mention he was 21?
I was in my 30s hahaha

so mini ken is glaring at me and being mean to my friend

dude its apparent I am not into you, just leave

or do karaoke to entertain me.

I walk the young kid out and we start making out in the parking lot by the bar entrance

I'm so classy

midget comes out and catches us

boy he's even madder now
his face is red
he's gonna have a heart attack

I'm gonna have to perform cpr

he's all I came here to see you and you are making out with some college kid? wTF

UM yeah, the college kid is normal sized, angry short ken

I didnt say that

I said UMMMMM this is my exboyfriend and we are getting back together
sorry
bye

and commenced the makeout some more

I would see midget ken out now and again
he'd glare at me like I had a 3some with barbie and skipper

Last I saw him was St Patricks day parade last year

OMG
here my friend Nikki knows him from work
he bothers her too

we were like UGH
then he found us and tried to talk

I was drunk, obviiously, it being the holiest day of the year
and was like lets ditch this clown



and Mark, college kid
he was very well endowed so we dated for a while, even though he was reallyyy immature

he'd prank cab companies when we got drunk?

finally it got to be too much and we broke up
he'd be all HEY LETS DRIVE TO BALTIMORE TONIGHT

VV dude it's like midnight man and a 3 yr drive
M so what its REDONK dude
VV No I have farking work in the morning and I am not drunk enough STFU and fark me already
M I will blow off class
VV kisses him goodbye

so me and Mark broke up
I had to avoid the grocery store he worked at for months cuz he'd glare at me

so I finally go back
and i get a text from him
WTF WAS THAT LOOK

um a look of me trying to hide from you?
so I quit that store til I Heard he graduated from college and went away to law school so the store is safe now

THE End

:carpal tunnel:

Hallo thread...
I agree

UTR said COCK!!!

In addition to the ketchup in the background.. isn't the knife upside down too? Definite fail!

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wiles*, RefCache, 1southern1belle+



i sense a massive Belle MQ

I agree

UTR said COCK!!!

You are psychic! I decide to show some restraint..

Are you referring to this morning and my tendencies?

No, I'm referring to the fact that instead of getting mexican like we were planning, I got fruit.

:waits to be shown to the restraints:

:waiting for a deposit from the coinpurse:

A disgrace...Phrozt can't promise you a threesome with Jesus and then just decide to use a banana. WTF?

:waiting for a deposit from the coinpurse:

so now my bedroom is the HOSPITALITY SUITE