Joined Feb 2006
L9: Master
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How a cell phone picture led to girl's suicide
October 23, 2010 at
02:46 PM
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You're generous.
Sending her photo to her boyfriend didn't cause her to kill herself with her cell phone.
It was the viral consquences of that action and the reaction of the thousands of people who didn't even know her and couldn't be counted on to behave like human beings.
But, the more time I spend in this thread, the more I see that it's what the world is now. More people in the world really just can't be counted on to be kind to each other. Tough lesson. I guess some people learn it the hard way.
It was the viral consquences of that action and the reaction of the thousands of people who didn't even know her and couldn't be counted on to behave like human beings.
The world is "ugly" because you choose to interpret it that way.
The world is "ugly" because you choose to interpret it that way.
Yeah, the message there is that you, like kitty, will see exactly what you want to see.
Yeah, the message there is that you, like kitty, will see exactly what you want to see.
While it's true it wouldn't have happened, it doesn't mean that all the harrassment from other children was warranted, or that it was her fault because she made a mistake. That is a childish way of looking at things. She did make a mistake, so did the boy who forwarded the calls (is he innocent in his actions?), so did the kids that posted them on the internet (are they innocent in their actions?), so did the kids that taunted her. Not one action was worse than the other, but at least her actions, while not smart, were not hateful, vile and mean like all the other things that ensued after she sent the pic to her 'boyfriend'.
It's almost impossible to assign 'blame' to anyone in a situation like this. There are so many factors involving so many people. To make a post that assigns all blame to the girl for sending her pic is narrow minded and immature thinking IMO. What would you do if it happened to your son, if a girl sent pics of herself. Would you hope he would delete them and go on about his business, or would you think he would forward them to everyone he know and then engage in an all out attack on the girl? And if he did that do you think his behaviour would be justified because she must be a loose little girl and they are aren't worthy of humane treatment? All in how we raise our kids IMO, and by experience I can tell you that you can tell your kids anything you want, but they LEARN by example. So be careful of the example you set for them.
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Everyone is responsible for their own actions, regardless of what came before. We cannot control the actions of others, but what we can control is our response to those actions. Yes the girl is responsible for sending out the picture to begin with. That is a bad decision. But she is NOT responsible for the response of others who chose to forward the pictures, post them on the internet, etc. Those people are responsible for their own reactions to the picture and the decisions they made.
It was her choice of how to deal with a problem and not talk to anyone about it, she could have learned to stand up for herself and choose to live and survive, instead she chose to stop existing at all.
Yeah people are idiots for bashing her but she didn't have to look at the stuff on the internet...and she could have told someone at school about the violence...she chose to stay quiet. It was all her choices of how to deal with the situation.
It was also dumb of the people around her to make that big of a deal about it and call her names and all that stuff but people are idiots especially when they have other people backing them up when they're ganging up on anything, be it a person, an idea, a race....no it's not right or fair...but who said life was fair...she should have figured out how to deal with the consequences than just giving up.
People have been throwing blame EVERYWHERE.. but one thing that was missed was the support group she *did* have. When they interviewed her friends, they said they formed a human wall for her and supported her in a lot of different ways.
So even WITH that support network she chose to dwell on the negative and kill herself. Not to mention her family does seem pretty decent... That's actually a helluva lot more going for her than a lot of suicidal people have.
I'm just going to tell you that life is much sweeter when you can't see him.
It really is.
The hypocrisy of "only see what they want to" is so amusing that, if you think about it long enough, you could actually write an entire mini-series on it.
I will say this - it's sad that the child felt it was the only way to deal with her problem. He thinks I don't understand what he's saying. I do. He's saying that no one forced her to string the scarves and hang herself.
Yes, we all know that. We know that she wasn't forced. We get that. No one is arguing that there was a person standing there, forcing her to do that. We know.
I'm also confused by the "blamers".
Who's blaming? It's a sad state of affairs that shouldn't happen and doesn't have to happen and had a lot of mitigating factors that could have been avoided by several people, including the girl.
Lots of people could have handled themselves better all throughout, including the girl herself.
The reason I'm not interested in talking to 3 people here anymore isn't because I don't agree with them. It's because I expect children to behave like children and call other children terrible names. I even expect adults to call each other terrible names.
I don't expect adults to call children terrible names and I don't expect adults to treat children like adults. Those adults don't interest me.
I don't expect adults to call children terrible names and I don't expect adults to treat children like adults. Those adults don't interest me.
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It really is.