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Forum Thread

What's your opinion of sexual/non-physical infidelity ?

1,436 50 November 1, 2010 at 07:52 AM in Chat
What is your definition of "infidelity"?
If I ask you to rate from 1-10 on three scenarios:
a. Your SO have an "non-physical infidelity" with someone else. eg. texting, or calling with sexual language, or expressing love feelings.

b. Your SO kissed someone else and he/she was not forced to do so.

c. Your SO has a sexual relationship with someone else.


Rating scale:
1. Whatever,I don't care
.
.
.
5. unacceptable, we need to have a serious talk.
.
.
.
.
10. It is over, I am going to kill you.

Oh, please post your gender.


PS.
My answer:
Male
a. 5
b. 6
c. 8
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Joined Dec 2006
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slutsky
11-01-2010 at 01:20 PM.
11-01-2010 at 01:20 PM.
Quote from Phrozt :
It was awhile before her poorer qualities showed to be more than just small imperfections. IMO, you'll NEEEEVER find the PERFECT SO, and I tend to err more on the side of acceptance instead of expectation in someone.

I know I will never find a perfect one, and the pool is getting smaller for me. But I am expecting someone at least that I could love her as a whole person despite her flaws. I am not perfect obviously, she needs to know how to handle my shortcoming too. I made mistake in bed but not in a relationship. No kids for me if I am not sure she's the one. It is a good thing that you got out that relationship with a lovely kid. I believe there are people trapped in that type of situation for a long time.
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Claudia365
11-01-2010 at 01:21 PM.
11-01-2010 at 01:21 PM.
Quote from Phrozt :
It was awhile before her poorer qualities showed to be more than just small imperfections. IMO, you'll NEEEEVER find the PERFECT SO, and I tend to err more on the side of acceptance instead of expectation in someone.
Very true... Some people tend to hide who they really are and just put a front of what you wanna see. My ex was like this. I mean I fell in love with him the from the first second I saw him but I was attracted to how he dressed, spoke and looked. He seemed like he has $$, No i'm not a golddigger but I like a man that makes more $$ than me and he seemed that way but boy was I wrong. He did make more $$ than me but he was up to his neck in credit card debt to maintain this persona. I had to help him pay his rent because he was that broke. I look back at it and it's like I was more attracted to him because the sex was great. Sad but true!!
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slutsky
11-01-2010 at 01:22 PM.
11-01-2010 at 01:22 PM.
Quote from beanqueen :
Kiss I heart you! Smilie
ARe you the lady that we saw in that picture with his kid?Smilie
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Titansfan1234
11-01-2010 at 01:22 PM.
11-01-2010 at 01:22 PM.
Quote from Claudia365 :
Very true... Some people tend to hide who they really are and just put a front of what you wanna see. My ex was like this. I mean I fell in love with him the from the first second I saw him but I was attracted to how he dressed, spoke and looked. He seemed like he has $$, No i'm not a golddigger but I like a man that makes more $$ than me and he seemed that way but boy was I wrong. He did make more $$ than me but he was up to his neck in credit card debt to maintain this persona. I had to help him pay his rent because he was that broke. I look back at it and it's like I was more attracted to him because the sex was great. Sad but true!!
Plus he liked poodley looking things
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the Drunken Snowman
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Phrozt
11-01-2010 at 01:22 PM.
11-01-2010 at 01:22 PM.
Quote from slutsky :
I know I will never find a perfect one, and the pool is getting smaller for me. But I am expecting someone at least that I could love her as a whole person despite her flaws. I am not perfect obviously, she needs to know how to handle my shortcoming too. I made mistake in bed but not in a relationship. No kids for me if I am not sure she's the one. It is a good thing that you got out that relationship with a lovely kid. I believe there are people trapped in that type of situation for a long time.
Yep. I was pretty much prepared to be miserable for 18 years for him. I was part of making him, so he comes before my own happiness. Most of me is reaaaaaally glad to be out of that scenario and especially w/someone much better, but a small part of me wishes I was still w/her just to prevent all the crap he's had to go through.
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Claudia365
11-01-2010 at 01:26 PM.
11-01-2010 at 01:26 PM.
Quote from Titansfan1234 :
Plus he liked poodley looking things
Would you leave my baby alone Slap
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Titansfan1234
11-01-2010 at 01:29 PM.
11-01-2010 at 01:29 PM.
Quote from Claudia365 :
Would you leave my baby alone Slap
laugh out loud

Yes, sorry I had to have one last hurrah.
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Claudia365
11-01-2010 at 01:35 PM.
11-01-2010 at 01:35 PM.
Quote from Titansfan1234 :
laugh out loud

Yes, sorry I had to have one last hurrah.
It's ok..hug See that poodley looking thing like you like to call her saved my life. When I found out EVERYTHING about my ex, I was in such a horrible depression that I didn't want to continue living (i know it's stupid). My mom and bro noticed and went to MN and got her for me and 3 yrs later, I'm still alive. She loves me no matter what and all she asks for is food, water and a bed. She made my life SO much happier and that's why i have her as my avatar and I thank god she came into my life along with my other babies (dogs)...
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Titansfan1234
11-01-2010 at 01:36 PM.
11-01-2010 at 01:36 PM.
Quote from Claudia365 :
It's ok..hug See that poodley looking thing like you like to call her saved my life. When I found out EVERYTHING about my ex, I was in such a horrible depression that I didn't want to continue living (i know it's stupid). My mom and bro noticed and went to MN and got her for me and 3 yrs later, I'm still alive. She loves me no matter what and all she asks for is food, water and a bed. She made my life SO much happier and that's why i have her as my avatar and I thank god she came into my life along with my other babies (dogs)...
I can respect the sentiment, as I have a basset and beagle. It's just white fluffy dogs and I never get along.
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slutsky
11-01-2010 at 01:37 PM.
11-01-2010 at 01:37 PM.
Quote from Phrozt :
Yep. I was pretty much prepared to be miserable for 18 years for him. I was part of making him, so he comes before my own happiness. Most of me is reaaaaaally glad to be out of that scenario and especially w/someone much better, but a small part of me wishes I was still w/her just to prevent all the crap he's had to go through.
So the kid is still with her and she's the one in that picture.
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the Drunken Snowman
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Phrozt
11-01-2010 at 01:39 PM.
11-01-2010 at 01:39 PM.
Quote from slutsky :
So the kid is still with her and she's the one in that picture.
Which picture? And no.. I have him mon/wed/every other weekend.. so half the time.
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slutsky
11-01-2010 at 01:43 PM.
11-01-2010 at 01:43 PM.
Quote from Phrozt :
Which picture? And no.. I have him mon/wed/every other weekend.. so half the time.
Didn't you showed a picture of him? There was a lady sitting right next to him.
I hate that joint custody thing, it is painful for the kid and parents.
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stimpy
11-01-2010 at 01:54 PM.
11-01-2010 at 01:54 PM.
Quote from jmegirl :
am i the only woman who thinks emotional infidelity is worse than physical infidelity?
maybe the only Woman Dontknow

I would much rather my SO shack up in a meaningless fling (physical) vs. talking/sharing with another while shutting me out.

Most people can't answer the poll honestly because they just don't actually know, because it is logical that the physical would follow the emotional relationship, and by the time that happens ... you're already seeing red.

Quote from Phrozt :
Yep. I was pretty much prepared to be miserable for 18 years for him. I was part of making him, so he comes before my own happiness. Most of me is reaaaaaally glad to be out of that scenario and especially w/someone much better, but a small part of me wishes I was still w/her just to prevent all the crap he's had to go through.
You are someone I would love to have a beer with. Cheers I can't imagine my kids being with my wife and her episodes without me being around ... it's a sad pathetic truth, but I tolerate way more than I should only to remain focused on my kids' well being. I couldn't remove them from her because I honestly doubt she would stay sane if I did. I'm not trying to sound like some sort of self-righteous a-hole ... I just often wonder how other people that choose to separate feel about their kid being alone with someone they can't trust or don't want to tolerate being with themselves. Does your kid see her for what she is without you bashing her?
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idkist
11-01-2010 at 02:07 PM.
11-01-2010 at 02:07 PM.
Quote from Claudia365 :
Smack That's my baby precious...
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Phrozt
11-01-2010 at 02:18 PM.
11-01-2010 at 02:18 PM.
Quote from stimpy :
You are someone I would love to have a beer with. Cheers I can't imagine my kids being with my wife and her episodes without me being around ... it's a sad pathetic truth, but I tolerate way more than I should only to remain focused on my kids' well being. I couldn't remove them from her because I honestly doubt she would stay sane if I did. I'm not trying to sound like some sort of self-righteous a-hole ... I just often wonder how other people that choose to separate feel about their kid being alone with someone they can't trust or don't want to tolerate being with themselves. Does your kid see her for what she is without you bashing her?
Not yet. He's only 3. It's really hard for me to hear some of the stuff coming out of his mouth about his mom and triple lips and having to find some positive way to turn it into something to better himself.

She has him watching rated R movies and things, and when he says he has nightmares about skeletons, I try to tell him that those movies are too scary and if he's watching one, he needs to say they are too scary. Apparently he did, because he came home one day saying, "mommy said skeletons aren't too scary for me, but they're too scary for daddy."

That and him getting in trouble for hitting/pushing kids at daycare because triplelips encourages beating people up like batman (I know that sounds fishy, but it's a loooong discussion to understand how I got that out of him in an unsuggestive fashion).

I basically try to be his rock and help him to become a good person. She's been in 4 different residences, had 3 different cars (course she can do that when she spends my CS on herself), and at least 5 different pets that I've known of in the time he's been born. Not to mention the other guy she brought around at the same time dad was around which caused him a LOT of grief for several months... I've had the same house, same car, no pets... I just focus on him.

I just do the best I can, keep hoping for karma, and that some day he'll grow up to see what's going on around him.
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