So my wife is dating this guy...

Gray.

Joined Sep 2004

.........................

13,944 Posts

650 Reputation

07-09-2007 at 11:30 AM.

Sounds like this will be a quick and easy split.

I'm glad your son is taking it ok.

I feel bad for the other kiddos but unfortunately they are her responsibility.

I'm proud of you for being so levelheaded, Stealth.

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*JeanGrey*

Joined Apr 2006

Follow Your Heart

9,329 Posts

878 Reputation

*JeanGrey*

07-09-2007 at 11:31 AM.

WOW - she was that open in front of the kids?

That's not setting the best example.....

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ShakariX

Joined Jul 2004

20yrs of Slick Dealin'

3,518 Posts

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ShakariX

07-09-2007 at 11:37 AM.

i gave my ex an altimadum when we split. i said if u take me to court, i'll have to shell out money for a lawyer, but it'll be cheaper to have you killed....

things worked out for the best without going to court...

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Just Peachy

Joined Sep 2006

Chivalry-never outdated

13,690 Posts

Just Peachy

07-09-2007 at 11:40 AM.

Quote from stealth

:

As far as telling the kids, I'm sure they have an idea, but we haven't sat them down yet. I just submitted the paperwork through my attorney today, should be filed tomorrow.. and I want it to be a surprise, so I'm the first to file. I've already taken my half from the joint accounts.

Anyway, I went home at lunch today to gather the financial information, and told my 16 yr. old son. He seemed to handle it pretty well.

Last night, she went over to his house to "watch a movie" with her 3 kids. Well, they were gone 5 hours, and only got through half of a movie.

I guess they did the old "go watch cartoons" bit. Anyway, she said that she was sitting in a chair with him during the movie, with her head on his shoulder..

in front of the kids!

They also went and looked at apartments today together.

I'm sorry, Stealth. Since she wasn't necessarily hiding it from you, she probably hasn't been hiding it from the kids either. Poor kids.

Are your kids close to hers? Planning to have them visit and such or is this all a done deal with the split?

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stealth

Joined Jun 2005

Live Like No One Else

8,512 Posts

793 Reputation

Original Poster

stealth

07-09-2007 at 11:52 AM.

Quote from Peachyum

:

I'm sorry, Stealth. Since she wasn't necessarily hiding it from you, she probably hasn't been hiding it from the kids either. Poor kids.

Are your kids close to hers? Planning to have them visit and such or is this all a done deal with the split?

Thanks Peachyum.

You're right to focus on the kids, they are the most important element of this whole thing.

She said she was looking for an apartment in the same school district. All the kids are close, and I told her I'm open to having them spend time together. But, I won't babysit her kids while she goes off farking another guy, I don't know exactly how that would work out. I don't really want to be around him either. I have no respect for him.

I just can't wait to get it over with, and get on with my life.

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junbug178

Joined Feb 2004

L7: Teacher

2,718 Posts

158 Reputation

junbug178

07-09-2007 at 11:54 AM.

Quote from stealth

:

Thanks Peachyum.

You're right to focus on the kids, they are the most important element of this whole thing.

She said she was looking for an apartment in the same school district. All the kids are close, and I told her I'm open to having them spend time together. But, I won't babysit her kids while she goes off farking another guy, I don't know exactly how that would work out. I don't really want to be around him either. I have no respect for him.

I just can't wait to get it over with, and get on with my life.

At the risk of sounding like a cold asshole, I say "fark her kids" b/c eventually it would turn into you babysitting the kids while she's out screwing...plus I wouldn't want to be around her after it's all said and done...

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paperboy05

Joined Apr 2005

L7: Weenie

20,777 Posts

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paperboy05

07-09-2007 at 12:04 PM.

Quote from junbug178

:

At the risk of sounding like a cold asshole, I say "fark her kids" b/c eventually it would turn into you babysitting the kids while she's out screwing...plus I wouldn't want to be around her after it's all said and done...

I kind of agree. It would suck to have you (soon to be) ex. tell them to make some claims against you in order to get more money out of you, or something like that. Unless you don't think that is a possibility.

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Just Peachy

Joined Sep 2006

Chivalry-never outdated

13,690 Posts

Just Peachy

07-09-2007 at 12:18 PM.

Quote from stealth

:

Thanks Peachyum.

You're right to focus on the kids, they are the most important element of this whole thing.

She said she was looking for an apartment in the same school district. All the kids are close, and I told her I'm open to having them spend time together. But, I won't babysit her kids while she goes off farking another guy, I don't know exactly how that would work out. I don't really want to be around him either. I have no respect for him.

I just can't wait to get it over with, and get on with my life.

It's difficult for the adults but really hard on kids. When you two married, I'm sure the kids had to go through their own emotional turmoil at joining families, and now that they've finally accustomed themselves to the daily routines, they're being (here's that big word again, lol) usurped from what they know and are used to. The more stability they have in their lives, the better adults they become. Sometimes, and I know it is difficult to see outside of ourselves at moments like these, we have to do things for the greater good of others. All of the kids need to be able to lean on each other for support and know that none of this is of their doing. They may secretly hate this guy for what they're about to go through even if they say otherwise, just to keep some semblance of peace. Don't think of yourself as a babysitter but as the father/stepfather who cared enough to help them deal. You aren't doing this for her at all and certainly not so she can spend time alone with this guy. It has nothing to do with that even though it may feel like it. Consider the divorce a done deal, she's going to be living with him whether or not you take the kids occasionally. Your children may want to lean on her kids for support as well. They are step brothers/sisters afterall.

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junbug178

Joined Feb 2004

L7: Teacher

2,718 Posts

158 Reputation

junbug178

07-09-2007 at 12:22 PM.

Quote from Peachyum

:

It's difficult for the adults but really hard on kids. When you two married, I'm sure the kids had to go through their own emotional turmoil at joining families, and now that they've finally accustomed themselves to the daily routines, they're being (here's that big word again, lol) usurped from what they know and are used to. The more stability they have in their lives, the better adults they become. Sometimes, and I know it is difficult to see outside of ourselves at moments like these, we have to do things for the greater good of others. All of the kids need to be able to lean on each other for support and know that none of this is of their doing. They may secretly hate this guy for what they're about to go through even if they say otherwise, just to keep some semblance of peace. Don't think of yourself as a babysitter but as the father/stepfather who cared enough to help them deal. You aren't doing this for her at all and certainly not so she can spend time alone with this guy. It has nothing to do with that even though it may feel like it. Consider the divorce a done deal, she's going to be living with him whether or not you take the kids occasionally. Your children may want to lean on her kids for support as well. They are step brothers/sisters afterall.