Jenni's Chat..<3 When you're here, you're family...or something like that.

Just got back from lunch...and found out we get out an hour early today!

What time should I be there?

Only 52 days until school starts!

Please forgive me for putting you on ignore until school starts so I don't have to see your sig. Surely you understand.

See you in a couple of months. (Someone please quote her posts if she says something I should see. )

you've gotta be joking

Yeah, I think only a select few will understand.

as i'm off to sacramento.. this hit me hard.

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80′s arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.
I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.
While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health.
He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?"
He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."
I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."
True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

i always thought of myself as a last resort to keep her out of a nursing home. she hates it, and all my aunts/mom say they rather die before going to a nursing home when its their time. i wanted to spare her that.. but that chain email.. it made it easier.

There comes a point where you have already said your goodbyes to the person who's gone, and you just have to love what's left. You will kill yourself if you try to meet every single need of someone at that stage of dementia. Every once in a while my Granny remembers who I am, but that's less and less often now. Most days she doesn't remember her husband is dead. There's only so much one person can bear before you have to turn it over to someone else and be the cheering committee. It's better to be able to pop in, smile and say hello and move on and continue living your own life.

Today I got a call that after a week the home health people (they do blood draws and urine tests at the home) haven't been able to get a urinalysis on her at all, so they had to catheterize her for the sample. The gal could tell by looking at it that she has an infection. UTIs make people with dementia even crazier and more aggressive. There is no way I could cope with that on my own, even if I could handle the day to day care.

I haven't been to see her in her room in 2 weeks. It's been such a relief!! I'm finally starting to feel human again. I'll pop up there Monday I think - give the antibiotics time to kick in. She's not pleasant to be around right now and I don't feel like being told off.

tl/dr: There is no shame in seeking outside help.

There comes a point where you have already said your goodbyes to the person who's gone, and you just have to love what's left. You will kill yourself if you try to meet every single need of someone at that stage of dementia. Every once in a while my Granny remembers who I am, but that's less and less often now. Most days she doesn't remember her husband is dead. There's only so much one person can bear before you have to turn it over to someone else and be the cheering committee. It's better to be able to pop in, smile and say hello and move on and continue living your own life.

Today I got a call that after a week the home health people (they do blood draws and urine tests at the home) haven't been able to get a urinalysis on her at all, so they had to catheterize her for the sample. The gal could tell by looking at it that she has an infection. UTIs make people with dementia even crazier and more aggressive. There is no way I could cope with that on my own, even if I could handle the day to day care.

I haven't been to see her in her room in 2 weeks. It's been such a relief!! I'm finally starting to feel human again. I'll pop up there Monday I think - give the antibiotics time to kick in. She's not pleasant to be around right now and I don't feel like being told off.

tl/dr: There is no shame in seeking outside help.

no doubt. just i've been having panic attacks accepting such a responsibility. mom's been forwarding me incoherent emails from gramps how bad things are. but that just reminded me why i want to at least try. i have no idea if i can. but i think i owe it to her to do it.

i'll have to ask. i have no idea what i'm getting myself into.

am, i appreciate so much more what you're dealing with every day

AM has some good ideas there.

So are you in sacto now...or on your way or...?