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OMG! The Bible has some raunchy stories in it man!

2,709 230 April 20, 2009 at 07:01 PM in Humor
So I'm resting and relaxing today... Come home, take a relaxing shower (not a great day today) and decided to have the house nice and quiet and just read the Bible today...

So I just start out with Genesis - I figure, hey, its been a while since I made a quest to read the Bible front to back, so why not now.

I get to Genesis 19: 4-8 and holy crap... there is some taboo stuff in there I had completely forgotten about.

Gen 19: 4-8
Quote :
Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodomboth young and oldsurrounded the house. 5 They called to Lot, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them."
6 Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him 7 and said, "No, my friends. Don't do this wicked thing. 8 Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don't do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof."
EEK! (They were talking about the men in Sodom wanting to have sex with the very angels that came there to see if they were going to destroy Sodom).

edit: btw, this is NOT a gay bashing thread or meant to offend or ridicule gay people. I just thought the above was "taboo" - or at least taboo for me...

And then a little bit later...

Gen. 19: 31-38

Quote :
One day the older daughter said to the younger, "Our father is old, and there is no man around here to lie with us, as is the custom all over the earth. 32 Let's get our father to drink wine and then lie with him and preserve our family line through our father."

33 That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and lay with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.
34 The next day the older daughter said to the younger, "Last night I lay with my father. Let's get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and lie with him so we can preserve our family line through our father." 35 So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went and lay with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. 36 So both of Lot's daughters became pregnant by their father. 37 The older daughter had a son, and she named him Moab; he is the father of the Moabites of today. 38 The younger daughter also had a son, and she named him Ben-Ammi; he is the father of the Ammonites of today.
I completely dont remember reading anything like this when I read through Genesis. Holy carp! The Bible is truly an interesting read at some points.
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Last Edited by Ram|bunc|tious April 24, 2009 at 04:52 AM
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Fallacy
04-23-2009 at 01:32 PM.
04-23-2009 at 01:32 PM.
Quote from jeba9999 :
Noah doesn't have a grave because he never existed. ...It's a fable...just like Adam and Eve and the talking snake......or Jonah being swallowed by a fish and living in the fish's stomach for 3 days

Once again....do you have ANY proof that people once lived to be 800 and 900 years old?
A&E exists, a "friend" has placed orders from them in the past.
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vec
04-23-2009 at 01:32 PM.
04-23-2009 at 01:32 PM.
Quote from jeba9999 :
"........he smites people who don't believe him, he's also a very generous god..."

Yeah, he sounds really swell...."If you don't believe in me I'll kill you!!"

Baloney......it's nothing more than the way that people were controlled back in those times...through fear.
Sometime the harshest punishments have to be dealt but such punishments are done out of love. If someone has to be sacrificed by the hand of the Lord then there was a reason for it. God works in mysterious ways.
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PHISH88
04-23-2009 at 01:32 PM.
04-23-2009 at 01:32 PM.
LOL! I have never read that story before OP. Thanks for sharing!
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.........................
> bubble2 13,944 Posts
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Gray.
04-23-2009 at 01:32 PM.
04-23-2009 at 01:32 PM.
Quote from jeba9999 :
"........he smites people who don't believe him, he's also a very generous god..."

Yeah, he sounds really swell...."If you don't believe in me I'll kill you!!"

Baloney......it's nothing more than the way that people were controlled back in those times...through fear.
Wow, Max, you're the ultimate troll (no offense intended)! You even get the people who agree with you to argue with you. laugh out loud
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jeba9999
04-23-2009 at 01:33 PM.
04-23-2009 at 01:33 PM.
Quote from IVIax :
What times? It's 2009, and I'm telling you if you don't believe in him he'll strike you down with lighting. Watch out.

yummy baloney. Can I get some bread to?
I tell you what....It's about 3:32 pm central time where I'm at....If he can strike me down with lightning I'll give him a shot....I say it's bullshit.....I'll give him 5 minutes to strike me down.......If I'm still posting in 5 minutes I win.....Sound fair?
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04-23-2009 at 01:35 PM.
04-23-2009 at 01:35 PM.
Quote from GoHalos :
The right hand of God isn't Moses. Moses was just a man. And what happened to the body from the grave of the one who is the right hand of God?

Good question. The tomb was open, the grave was empty and the body was resurrected.

The right hand of God is Jesus Christ.

As for all religions claiming this or that........ only ONE claimed to save anyone. Not Allah, not Buddah, not anyone but Jesus Christ.

But in the end, like I said....... the CHOICE is yours what to believe and what to not believe.

Jesus said he is the only way to the Father. You do not get into heaven by good works.

If you deny Him, he will deny you to the Father.

Your choice. Take your chances on where you end up in eternity.

In the last days, there will be lots of scoffers......... just as in the day of Noah. Think about Noah, toting his umbrella, when there wasn't a cloud in the sky...... The day will come when you KNOW u HAD the chance and chose wrong and it lasts for eternity.

God gave you a brain and if you choose to not believe in Him, then he'll honor your choice.

Totally up to YOU.
So what you're saying is that your god is a cynical god? How could you love your cynical god?


My god is cute and cuddly like a puppy.

And we all know that my god is the true god.
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vec
04-23-2009 at 01:35 PM.
04-23-2009 at 01:35 PM.
Quote from TigerStar :
Aren't you saying the same thing as the evolutionists? They have their theories and you have your's. Just because you say your's are based on god and thus infallible doesn't make it so. Radical Islamists truly believe that their god says that if they kill infidels, they get the virgins and all. They 'know' that with all of their being.

It works for all. Just because you (or anyone) think that you 'know' something does not automatically make it the gospel.
We cannot be compared to those other religions. We do not start wars with others because they don't believe what we believe. Actually, the evolutionists in this thread are acting more like them then we are.
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jeba9999
04-23-2009 at 01:35 PM.
04-23-2009 at 01:35 PM.
Quote from vec :
Sometime the harshest punishments have to be dealt but such punishments are done out of love. If someone has to be sacrificed by the hand of the Lord then there was a reason for it. God works in mysterious ways.
You know it's B.S.....why try to hide that?........Love...I don't think a loving person would have someone stoned to death for collecting firewood on the sabbath....but apparently your god would
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Putz1103
04-23-2009 at 01:36 PM.
04-23-2009 at 01:36 PM.
Quote from IVIax :
What times? It's 2009, and I'm telling you if you don't believe in him he'll strike you down with lighting. Watch out.
What in the world are you talking about? I don't believe in :ZAAAAAP:


. . .
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04-23-2009 at 01:36 PM.
04-23-2009 at 01:36 PM.
Quote from PassionateGray :
Wow, Max, you're the ultimate troll (no offense intended)! You even get the people who agree with you to argue with you. laugh out loud
I pride myself in my achievements Thanks

Quote from jeba9999 :
I tell you what....It's about 3:32 pm central time where I'm at....If he can strike me down with lightning I'll give him a shot....I say it's bullshit.....I'll give him 5 minutes to strike me down.......If I'm still posting in 5 minutes I win.....Sound fair?
You're giving my god a deadline? You measly mortal are giving my god a deadline? Just for that he wont smite you in the next 5 minutes. But I can't promise it wont happen in the next hour or two. So watch your back.
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jeba9999
04-23-2009 at 01:38 PM.
04-23-2009 at 01:38 PM.
Quote from IVIax :
I pride myself in my achievements Thanks



You're giving my god a deadline? You measly mortal are giving my god a deadline? Just for that he wont smite you in the next 5 minutes. But I can't promise it wont happen in the next hour or two. So watch your back.

You're pretty funny.......for all the rest of those reading this, it's 3:38 pm central time and I'm still here
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04-23-2009 at 01:39 PM.
04-23-2009 at 01:39 PM.
Quote from jeba9999 :
You're pretty funny.......for all the rest of those reading this, it's 3:38 pm central time and I'm still here
Mad I'm being serious! Ranting
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vec
04-23-2009 at 01:40 PM.
04-23-2009 at 01:40 PM.
Quote from jeba9999 :
You know it's B.S.....why try to hide that?........Love...I don't think a loving person would have someone stoned to death for collecting firewood on the sabbath....but apparently your god would
I am not here to convince you of anything but you continue to bash us for our beliefs. Why is that? Why is it so important to you that I believe what you believe? You sound like those other antiquated religions that Tigerstar referenced earlier. You are starting your own little holy war.
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jeba9999
04-23-2009 at 01:40 PM.
04-23-2009 at 01:40 PM.
Quote from IVIax :
Mad I'm being serious! Ranting

yeah...right.....are you having a few beers?
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Putz1103
04-23-2009 at 01:41 PM.
04-23-2009 at 01:41 PM.
Quote from IVIax :
Mad I'm being serious! Ranting
How did you edit that post without the "last editied by ..." thingy on the bottom? Spooky, it must have been the cuddly puppy dog god helping you, right?
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