Joined Feb 2006
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How a cell phone picture led to girl's suicide
October 23, 2010 at
02:46 PM
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Teasing hurts, a lot. Go through it every day for a long period of time and it really gets to you. The difference is that her teasing was brought on by her own actions, actions that no 13 year old should be participating in. It doesn't make it right that she took her life, but she couldn't handle it. There are plenty of people to blame. The parents, the teachers, the social worker, the kids, the friends and even the girl.
What happened to this girl crossed several schools, the Internet, involved her naked body, and involved (what seemed to her like) her whole world over an extended period of time.
Apples/oranges.
Your experience of unrequited love doesn't even compare.
Here is another unrequited love story from 4th grade:
I collected sea shells that I liked from a family vacation at the ocean. I spent a week making little holes in some them with a pin (my fingers hurt so bad!) so I could string them together for a boy I liked in 4th grade. I gave it to him after school one day. Well he took it to school so he could show everyone and then he took the necklace out at recess and smashed it with rocks in front of everyone while laughing at me with all his friends.
The problem here is that people let emotions get involved with their logic. At 13 I am sure we all made mistakes but the difference here is taking responsibility for and learning from your mistakes. I don't think anyone here thinks the situation isn't horribly tragic and I am sure everyone here would prefer if it could have been adverted. That being said the 13 year old made a huge mistake by sending the pictures out but she made an even larger (exponentially) when she decided to take her own life.
My first thought would be the parenting. At 13 she should have the morals instilled that your "private" parts are meant to be private. What I don't understand is why everyone NEEDS to find someone/something to blame? Why do humans always find the need to take responsibility out of the individuals hands? Either we are capable of making our own decisions or we are not. If we are then we are responsible for the decisions that we do make.
Here is another unrequited love story from 4th grade:
I collected sea shells that I liked from a family vacation at the ocean. I spent a week making little holes in some them with a pin (my fingers hurt so bad!) so I could string them together for a boy I liked in 4th grade. I gave it to him after school one day. Well he took it to school so he could show everyone and then he took the necklace out at recess and smashed it with rocks in front of everyone while laughing at me with all his friends.
Jerk.
If you made me one, I'd wear it with pride, every day!
My peditration told me that there was a new study done and 100% (yes 100%!) of 13 year old girls have low to VERY low self esteem. He was shocked since he has a 13 yr old and didn't think she did. But after talking to his own 13 yr old realized she did struggle with self worth.
So I guess it's ok for 100% of 13 year old girls to commit suicide because they all have low self esteem?? I mean wtf are you trying to prove here? If anything that just gives more credence that it's her own problem for committing suicide. All these other girls (100% of them no less!) have "low self esteem," yet they're wearing their favorite scarves, not hanging from them.
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False. Schools are not babysitters. Pay attention to your damned kids.
Here's what happened: stupid parents give their daughter a cell phone. Stupid daughter takes a picture of her boobs and sends it OUT OF HER HANDS FOREVER to some other kid. The other kid sends it all over the place.
Lessons:
Don't give your kids a cell phone. Give them a "firefly" or something for emergencies if you really want, but kids do not need to be connected 24x7.
Don't send anything you could consider risque out into the world - nude photos, photos of you drinking or doing illegal acts
Pay attention to your kids - how the hell did these parents not know about the bullying? The web pages?
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False. Schools are not babysitters. Pay attention to your damned kids.
Here's what happened: stupid parents give their daughter a cell phone. Stupid daughter takes a picture of her boobs and sends it OUT OF HER HANDS FOREVER to some other kid. The other kid sends it all over the place.
Lessons:
Don't give your kids a cell phone. Give them a "firefly" or something for emergencies if you really want, but kids do not need to be connected 24x7.
Don't send anything you could consider risque out into the world - nude photos, photos of you drinking or doing illegal acts
Pay attention to your kids - how the hell did these parents not know about the bullying? The web pages?
Not necessarily because it's 100% right but to set an example for the kids.
Kids aren't held accountable for anything they do these days. It's always the schools, parents or teachers fault.
If a "kid" is able to call a 13 yo girl a "whore" then they should be held accountable as an adult.
(S)he thinks (s)he does.
There are also laws in society to prevent negative actions. You can tell someone to fark off and leave it at that. What you can't do is go up to them every day and tell them. You'd end up with a restraining order and then prison. This is to protect adults!
Kids are more vulnerable. Yet kids are allowed to bully with no severe repercussions. It's a flaw in the system. Her action did not warrant what she received. At some point it should have been stopped. The system needs to be fixed.
I feel bad for her family. They raised her and had all these dreams for her and now it's gone because of something stupid. Then to hear people calling her a whore after she's dead? Put yourself in their shoes. I can't even imagine. If I walked into my daughter's room and found her like that I'd be farked up for life. I'd try to keep it together for my family, but I'd have hardcore ptsd.
The best you can do is raise your own children to be good people and to try to influence their friends in a similar fashion.
I know you wish the system was fixed, but how? To think that no other girl/guy has ever sexted something of themselves and had it leaked is naive at best... the difference is that they didn't kill themselves when they subsequently received the hazing/bullying that most likely came in tow w/their actions. If we locked up every kid that taunted another kid, there would BE no more kids in school.
Hell, do you think the girl herself has never said anything mean or bullied another kid in some fashion or another? It happens. The fact that she committed suicide over it is her own fault.
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If we could magically say they felt the same levels of pain, and she killed herself and he didn't, then it would make sense to compare.
We can't do that.