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Forum Thread

How do you politely get a guy to stop hitting on you?

17,745 1,470 November 6, 2010 at 06:03 PM in Help
The Boy isn't here yet. It has caused some interesting issues at social gatherings. I have no idea what to do when a guy starts talking to me.

Maybe he is just friendly? How long should I let them talk to me before I tell them I'm married? Wot if they AREN'T hitting on me and then I look like a presumptuous arse? I see the conversation going like this

Guy: So you are new to San Diego?
Me: Yeah, moved here a couple months ago
Guy: Its a great place....yadda yadda
Me: ..*continue conversation to be friendly"
Guy: Yeah, you should come out with us some time.
Me: Well I'm married
Guy: I wasn't asking you out.
Me: er.....uh.....*dies*

I haven't been on the dating scene for a while so I have no idea how to skillfully let a guy know I'm taken but remain friendly in case they just wanted to make a new friend too (although I'm not sure how often that actually happens laugh out loud )

Give me some sage advice Whee
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Joined May 2005
Proud Barner
> bubble2 36,606 Posts
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TigerStar
11-06-2010 at 06:58 PM.
11-06-2010 at 06:58 PM.
Quote from SlickChik :
bulb I'll just bring arj with me everywhere I go Roll
Was it all of the gay talk that made you think of arj?
Quote from Autumn :
Yeah that's what I was gonna say too.
Yeah, We're all sure you have issues with guys hitting on you at the gym.
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Joined Nov 2005
L10: Grand Master
> bubble2 17,745 Posts
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Original Poster
SlickChik
11-06-2010 at 07:01 PM.
11-06-2010 at 07:01 PM.
Quote from dzap :
Why do women always have to make everything sound so complicated? If he said he wasn't asking you out..he wasn't. I have a couple "gal pals" that are fine hanging out for one reason or another that isn't about sex...it's not that uncommon. You;re new so maybe he just wants to hang..not bang you.

Of course I haven't seen what you look like..but unless you're like Megan Fox hot, I'm going to say he just wants to be friends Big Grin
It's not that I'm confused about if he's interested or not. I just don't even want the conversation to get to the point of having to clarify if he is or is not interested. The whole thing embarrasses me laugh out loud

I've had straight guy friends in the past, but they all knew me from work and knew my husband too.
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Joined May 2006
Boating
> bubble2 21,228 Posts
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Piccaboo
11-06-2010 at 07:02 PM.
11-06-2010 at 07:02 PM.
Quote from dzap :
Why do women always have to make everything sound so complicated? If he said he wasn't asking you out..he wasn't. I have a couple "gal pals" that are fine hanging out for one reason or another that isn't about sex...it's not that uncommon. You;re new so maybe he just wants to hang..not bang you.

Of course I haven't seen what you look like..but unless you're like Megan Fox hot, I'm going to say he just wants to be friends Big Grin
SC is very pretty, and I can understand guys hitting on her nod

But since he asked would you like to go out with "us" - it was inclusive - meaning "group" - not individual - and I would have responded - great, okay if I bring a friend along as well - and then you would have seen the reaction and have known what was what - try that next time bulb

Doesn't mean you have to bring a friend along, if it is a group outing he is referring to - it's a feeler for ya Smilie
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Joined Nov 2005
L10: Grand Master
> bubble2 17,745 Posts
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Original Poster
SlickChik
11-06-2010 at 07:05 PM.
11-06-2010 at 07:05 PM.
Quote from Piccaboo :
SC is very pretty, and I can understand guys hitting on her nod

But since he asked would you like to go out with "us" - it was inclusive - meaning "group" - not individual - and I would have responded - great, okay if I bring a friend along as well - and then you would have seen the reaction and have known what was what - try that next time bulb

Doesn't mean you have to bring a friend along, if it is a group outing he is referring to - it's a feeler for ya Smilie
I worry about my ability to feel that out Roll Can't I just bring you with me? laugh out loud
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Joined Feb 2005
Play it loud!
> bubble2 2,254 Posts
Tobascojapan
11-06-2010 at 07:07 PM.
11-06-2010 at 07:07 PM.
Quote from SlickChik :
Roll

This issue it exactly why I've always just had gay guy friends laugh out loud



How could a girl make it less awkward? I have a hard time trying to make it less awkward...and magically making it exponentially worse.
You could've said something like, "I dunno, my husband and me are still unpacking". Stick Out Tongue
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Joined May 2006
Boating
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Piccaboo
11-06-2010 at 07:08 PM.
11-06-2010 at 07:08 PM.
Quote from SlickChik :
I worry about my ability to feel that out Roll Can't I just bring you with me? laugh out loud
You have no clue how badly I need to get away and for a long time, until like January till "the boy" gets there would do it for me - the hell with Thanksgiving and Christmas - if I thought these men here could survive this situation without me Sadwalk But they would crash and burn Blowup
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Joined Nov 2005
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> bubble2 17,745 Posts
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Original Poster
SlickChik
11-06-2010 at 07:10 PM.
11-06-2010 at 07:10 PM.
Quote from Piccaboo :
You have no clue how badly I need to get away and for a long time, until like January till "the boy" gets there would do it for me - the hell with Thanksgiving and Christmas - if I thought these men here could survive this situation without me Sadwalk But they would crash and burn Blowup
I'll have a guest room ready at some point laugh out loud

Quote from Tobascojapan :
You could've said something like, "I dunno, my husband and me are still unpacking". Stick Out Tongue
I see that now Sadwalk I will do better next time!
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Last edited by SlickChik November 6, 2010 at 07:11 PM.

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Joined Jul 2005
Scarydevil Monastery
> bubble2 26,675 Posts
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veritablequandary
11-06-2010 at 07:27 PM.
11-06-2010 at 07:27 PM.


Next time maybe don't wear a bra.
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Joined Nov 2005
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Original Poster
SlickChik
11-06-2010 at 07:30 PM.
11-06-2010 at 07:30 PM.
Quote from veritableqndry :


Next time maybe don't wear a bra.
kthanx laugh out loud
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Joined Jul 2005
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veritablequandary
11-06-2010 at 07:31 PM.
11-06-2010 at 07:31 PM.
Well if the guy's next question (after you say "my husband and I blah blah") is "and are you always faithful" then you can be sure he's not just trying to be friends.
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Joined Nov 2005
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> bubble2 17,745 Posts
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Original Poster
SlickChik
11-06-2010 at 07:34 PM.
11-06-2010 at 07:34 PM.
Quote from veritableqndry :
Well if the guy's next question (after you say "my husband and I blah blah") is "and are you always faithful" then you can be sure he's not just trying to be friends.
Very true laugh out loud
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Joined Jul 2005
Scarydevil Monastery
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veritablequandary
11-06-2010 at 07:35 PM.
11-06-2010 at 07:35 PM.
I'm Ron Burgundy?
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Joined Nov 2005
L10: Grand Master
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Original Poster
SlickChik
11-06-2010 at 07:38 PM.
11-06-2010 at 07:38 PM.
Quote from veritableqndry :
I'm Ron Burgundy?
I just watched that again the other night...forgot how ridiculous it was Big Grin
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Joined Jul 2005
Scarydevil Monastery
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veritablequandary
11-06-2010 at 07:39 PM.
11-06-2010 at 07:39 PM.
Quote from SlickChik :
I just watched that again the other night...forgot how ridiculous it was Big Grin
Thumbup Stay classy, married chick!
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Joined Dec 2005
Blade in Backwards
> bubble2 12,438 Posts
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chanle51
11-06-2010 at 07:44 PM.
11-06-2010 at 07:44 PM.
Act really crazy (the same way you do in a big city when a potentially shady character is sizing you up:

Bad guy?: Hey, what time is it?
You: Loudly roar like a lion and flap your arms wildly like a seagull.

Problem solved.
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