Slickdeals is community-supported.  We may get paid by brands for deals, including promoted items.
Forum Thread

Ok so I'll ask....is there anything wrong with me dating a married woman?

3,549 129 November 23, 2010 at 03:06 PM in Question
It's not me cheating so is there anything wrong with it? A couple of people have told me it's wrong and made it sound like I am evil but they can't really tell me why with anything other than emotional reactions. So what's up?

345 Comments

Your comment cannot be blank.

Sign up for a Slickdeals account to remove this ad.

Joined Sep 2006
IVIodel citizen
> bubble2 19,431 Posts
836 Reputation
Fallacy
11-24-2010 at 01:28 PM.
11-24-2010 at 01:28 PM.
Quote from coulditbeSatan :
I haven't ever mod alerted anyone. Waste of time.

I can hear it now 'But you are an accessory to that person breaking the rules and that makes you an accessory!!!' laugh out loud
laugh out loud

Quote from trancepire :
OP, I think it depends on what your own ethics are.

Do you hold marriage in high regard? Do you hold monogamy in high regard? I ask because our society tells us we're supposed to be monogamous and, as this thread shows, a great deal of people at least pretend to agree with that. I'm not suggesting anyone is lying, but what we say publicly and what we actually do or have done are not always one in the same. Of course, some really dig monogamy and more power to them if that makes them happy.

Basically, if you don't hold the belief that monogamy is really important I figure your own conscience can be fairly clear. I think it's rather unrealistic to expect that one can fulfill all the needs of their mate, and monogamy is clearly contrary to the way many of us would prefer to act, so I understand where cheaters are coming from.

I don't think anyone here is going to say what you're doing is perfectly fine, as the husband probably would care if he knew, but not everyone's ethics are the same.
Are you a lounge mod?
Reply
Joined Mar 2005
L13: Vault Dweller
> bubble2 6,844 Posts
trancepire
11-24-2010 at 01:31 PM.
11-24-2010 at 01:31 PM.
That said...if you are totally in to her and expect a relationship out of it I have to agree with some others here and suggest you keep your eyes wide open. I've seen it go both ways, I know a woman that sleeps around on her husband and tells the guys they're the 'only one' when she's really just looking for a good time. I also know a guy who cheated on his wife (who he was miserable with), eventually divorced her, and is now happily married to the girl he cheated with.
Reply
Last edited by trancepire November 24, 2010 at 02:05 PM.
Joined Mar 2005
L13: Vault Dweller
> bubble2 6,844 Posts
trancepire
11-24-2010 at 01:33 PM.
11-24-2010 at 01:33 PM.
Quote from IVIax :
Are you a lounge mod?
Nope, I'm from the evil Podium. Spider

I was searching for the word 'Kindle' and somehow ended up with this thread as one of the results. The topic looked interesting.

Man, I haven't poked my head into the Lounge in ages.
Reply
Joined Sep 2006
IVIodel citizen
> bubble2 19,431 Posts
836 Reputation
Fallacy
11-24-2010 at 01:41 PM.
11-24-2010 at 01:41 PM.
Quote from trancepire :
Nope, I'm from the evil Podium. Spider

I was searching for the word 'Kindle' and somehow ended up with this thread as one of the results. The topic looked interesting.

Man, I haven't poked my head into the Lounge in ages.
Awesome, so I don't need to worry about you warning me laugh out loud
Reply
Joined Aug 2010
Permanently Banned
> bubble2 3,549 Posts
129 Reputation
Original Poster
coulditbeSatan
11-24-2010 at 01:43 PM.
11-24-2010 at 01:43 PM.
Ok I said I was done bit I will respond to your post because you are my 'mod buddy' that I usually agree with in the podium. Grin

Quote from trancepire :
OP, I think it depends on what your own ethics are.
Mine are like anyone else....variable and imperfect.

Quote :
Do you hold marriage in high regard?

Yes. For when I am married. Other marriages I don't control.

Do you hold monogamy in high regard?

Yes. I am monogamous and she is with me. Despite what some in this thread say or think.

I ask because our society tells us we're supposed to be monogamous and, as this thread shows, a great deal of people at least pretend to agree with that.

I have had my thoughts about how honest people are being here or how perfect they are too.


I'm not suggesting anyone is lying, but what we say publicly and what we actually do or have done are not always one in the same. Of course, some really dig monogamy and more power to them if that makes them happy.

Basically, if you don't hold the belief that monogamy is really important I figure your own conscience can be fairly clear. I think it's rather unrealistic to expect that one can fulfill all the needs of their mate, and monogamy is clearly contrary to the way many of us would prefer to act, so I understand where cheaters are coming from.

That is true too and agree with it wrt monogamy. It seems unnatural in many ways but like most people I was raised to be monogamous and believe in it.

I don't think anyone here is going to say what you're doing is perfectly fine, as the husband probably would care if he knew, but not everyone's ethics are the same.

True dat! Thumbup
Quote from trancepire :
That said...if you are totally into her and expect a relationship out of it I have to agree with some others here and suggest you keep your eyes wide open. I've seen it go both ways, I know a woman that sleeps around on her husband and tells the guys they're the 'only one' when she's really just looking for a good time. I also know a guy who cheated on his wife (who he was miserable with), eventually divorced her, and is now happily married to the girl he cheated with.
I am really 'in' to her but have not deluded myself with thinking there is a long term relationship in this. I know there isn't and even if there were I know that she is not a woman I would ever marry because she cheats on her husband and I know that right off. Unlike dating a divorced woman that cheated on her ex-husband and I would never know she is a cheater. At least I know upfront this way and can make a better decision.
Reply
Joined Jan 2007
The Mistress of All Evil!
> bubble2 22,510 Posts
8,433 Reputation
Maleficent
11-24-2010 at 01:55 PM.
11-24-2010 at 01:55 PM.
Quote from Jex :
We have had that thread before. I am pretty sure it went the same way.
Yep, I think you're right. nod


Quote from Iaaaiws :
Quote from coulditbeSatan :
I think you would be concentratying on the woman that is being physically and emotionally abused. Come on you can be honest instead of just trying to say the 'right' thing to look consistent.

Like I told Malwhatever I think you would all be focusing on the battered and abused woman and overlook my having sex with her if that were the case. I am not being contrary to be that way. It may appear that way but I just don't see how I am doing anything wrong when I am not cheating or making anyone do anything.
Admitting you actually think that means you are even more clueless than you have appeared previously in this thread if that is possible.

You would be knowingly dealing with an abused and battered woman and then making the conscious choice to participate with her in an act that could possibly push her husband over the edge to the point where instead of just beating her he actually killed her the next time. For you to try and rationalize that it wouldn't be your fault is simply not possible for anyone with a rational mind.
Iagree

Quote from IVIax :
Are you a lounge mod?
I haven't gotten a warning from him, so I'm guessing no. laugh out loud
Reply
Joined Sep 2006
skinny2by4
> bubble2 8,318 Posts
415 Reputation
Me
11-24-2010 at 01:59 PM.
11-24-2010 at 01:59 PM.
Quote from IVIax :
Awesome, so I don't need to worry about you warning me laugh out loud
yea, we all knew where you were going with this...
Reply

Sign up for a Slickdeals account to remove this ad.

Joined Jun 2006
Dark Lord of the Culdesac
> bubble2 18,322 Posts
1,504 Reputation
Jex
11-24-2010 at 02:00 PM.
11-24-2010 at 02:00 PM.
Quote from coulditbeSatan :
can make a better decision.
Do that. nod
Reply
Joined Sep 2006
IVIodel citizen
> bubble2 19,431 Posts
836 Reputation
Fallacy
11-24-2010 at 02:02 PM.
11-24-2010 at 02:02 PM.
Quote from Me :
yea, we all knew where you were going with this...
Look at me!!! I can preDICt the future!!! Look at me!!!!

O wait, you didn't foresee it Wink
Reply
Joined Jan 2007
The Mistress of All Evil!
> bubble2 22,510 Posts
8,433 Reputation
Maleficent
11-24-2010 at 02:04 PM.
11-24-2010 at 02:04 PM.
Quote from coulditbeSatan :
can make a better decision.
Rofl2
Reply
Joined Jan 2005
Pants down, always
> bubble2 11,702 Posts
1,770 Reputation
stimpy
11-24-2010 at 02:05 PM.
11-24-2010 at 02:05 PM.
Quote from trancepire :
Man, I haven't poked my head into the Lounge in ages.
Reply
Joined Oct 2004
Professor Fishslapper!
> bubble2 12,104 Posts
277 Reputation
dalokgawd
11-24-2010 at 02:05 PM.
11-24-2010 at 02:05 PM.
Quote from coulditbeSatan :
Ok you can all go back to your math problems. I have tried to explain myself and that isn't getting through. A couple of people think I am not doing anything wrong. Thumbsup One of you...that said it straight up....wants me to be murdered. That guy needs some R&R it sounds like. And Max wants to say a lot but will get warned. So I guess this thread is done for me....but don't let that put a damper on the statistics!!! Yahoo!
I particularly love the OP's logic that while 30 people came into this thread and told him he's wrong and a douchebag for doing what he's doing and like 3 people told him there's nothing wrong with what he's doing and he takes away the conclusion that what he's doing is fine.

I think this thread should be linked next to the definition for "self deluded" on dictionary.com. laugh out loud
Reply
Joined Mar 2005
L13: Vault Dweller
> bubble2 6,844 Posts
trancepire
11-24-2010 at 02:08 PM.
11-24-2010 at 02:08 PM.
Quote from coulditbeSatan :
Ok I said I was done bit I will respond to your post because you are my 'mod buddy' that I usually agree with in the podium. Grin
Doh I missed that post.

Quote from coulditbeSatan :
Mine are like anyone else....variable and imperfect. *the rest I snipped to save on scrolling*
I like that, it's succinct. Realistically we don't operate in an ethical vacuum; there's more to the right vs. wrong of a situation than merely imagining the shoe on the other foot...one needs to consider what's being stepped in, on, or around as well.

Quote from coulditbeSatan :
I am really 'in' to her but have not deluded myself with thinking there is a long term relationship in this. I know there isn't and even if there were I know that she is not a woman I would ever marry because she cheats on her husband and I know that right off. Unlike dating a divorced woman that cheated on her ex-husband and I would never know she is a cheater. At least I know upfront this way and can make a better decision.
Oh, cool. I admit I hadn't read all the posts so I missed if you already made the declaration that you knew it wasn't to last. If so, sorry about that.
Reply
Last edited by trancepire November 24, 2010 at 02:13 PM.
Joined Jun 2006
Dark Lord of the Culdesac
> bubble2 18,322 Posts
1,504 Reputation
Jex
11-24-2010 at 02:10 PM.
11-24-2010 at 02:10 PM.
Quote from dalokgawd :
I particularly love the OP's logic that while 30 people came into this thread and told him he's wrong and a douchebag for doing what he's doing and like 3 people told him there's nothing wrong with what he's doing and he takes away the conclusion that what he's doing is fine.

I think this thread should be linked next to the definition for "self deluded" on dictionary.com. laugh out loud
But didn't even those three say it was wrong but then use the you are all not perfect defense? Still doesn't make it less wrong. shake head
Reply

Sign up for a Slickdeals account to remove this ad.

Joined Mar 2005
L13: Vault Dweller
> bubble2 6,844 Posts
trancepire
11-24-2010 at 02:13 PM.
11-24-2010 at 02:13 PM.
Quote from stimpy :
laugh out loud
Reply
Page 21 of 24
Start the Conversation
 
Link Copied

The link has been copied to the clipboard.