RETIRED: Mal and Paint's *Official* Chat Thread: Cookie-baking time!

bf and i were on again off again for about 5 years. the first 1.5 years i was then things just sucked. he was being controlling, and i felt like all he did was whine about how i never gave him attention. it was like i was dating a child. i got sick of it and finally broke it off. we had months of space and started hanging out again, being friends. we both kept wanting more, and both didnt want to get hurt, so never committed by calling us boyfriend and girlfriend up until this year.

anyways, last year was a tough one. he wasnt here for me when i needed him the most. my mom was sick and in the hospital and a nursing home in jan - march 2009. my sister fell apart, and went into a mental hospital at the same time. i was all alone . i visited my mom every day and held it together as much as i could. i resented my not bf at the time for not being here for me. he came down to see me once or twice in all those months (he lives about an hour away) . the rest of the year he was distant, saying he couldnt drive here and didnt have gas money. that same january he lost his job too.

mid 2009 i started feeling like something was off. my intuition was telling me he;s lying and cheating. if he loved me he'd see me, and not make up excuses like he's busy and what not. he wasnt working. he could make time! come november, i find out he had been lying to me. he was seeing someone else (in his city) and was supposedly in love with her. i felt SO BETRAYED! it felt like i had been struck by lightening. i was in shock. i couldnt believe he could do something so terrible and would purposefully hurt me like that.

we ended up staying friends. i dated an asshole for a month, which pissed off bf SO MUCH . in january, his gf broke up with him, leaving him and i was all "HA HA" because he thought she was cheating on him for a while.

what goes around comes around bitch

somehow we ended up back together, because even when he was with her, he'd call me, come see me, and lie to her about it. he told he he stopped talking to me and never saw me. he told me even when he was with her, he wanted to be with me. then why the fark leave me and date her.... oh wait. she's a slut. that's why!

I'm not talking about fantasy, I'm talking about reality. You can find someone that's not a total jackass to you, which from what it sounds like, is what your current BF is.

You may not get treated like a princess (really, no one's royalty here anyway) but you can find someone with whom you can share mutual respect, and a loving and lasting relationship. You deserve at least that.

bf and i were on again off again for about 5 years. the first 1.5 years i was then things just sucked. he was being controlling, and i felt like all he did was whine about how i never gave him attention. it was like i was dating a child. i got sick of it and finally broke it off. we had months of space and started hanging out again, being friends. we both kept wanting more, and both didnt want to get hurt, so never committed by calling us boyfriend and girlfriend up until this year.

anyways, last year was a tough one. he wasnt here for me when i needed him the most. my mom was sick and in the hospital and a nursing home in jan - march 2009. my sister fell apart, and went into a mental hospital at the same time. i was all alone . i visited my mom every day and held it together as much as i could. i resented my not bf at the time for not being here for me. he came down to see me once or twice in all those months (he lives about an hour away) . the rest of the year he was distant, saying he couldnt drive here and didnt have gas money. that same january he lost his job too.

mid 2009 i started feeling like something was off. my intuition was telling me he;s lying and cheating. if he loved me he'd see me, and not make up excuses like he's busy and what not. he wasnt working. he could make time! come november, i find out he had been lying to me. he was seeing someone else (in his city) and was supposedly in love with her. i felt SO BETRAYED! it felt like i had been struck by lightening. i was in shock. i couldnt believe he could do something so terrible and would purposefully hurt me like that.

we ended up staying friends. i dated an asshole for a month, which pissed off bf SO MUCH . in january, his gf broke up with him, leaving him and i was all "HA HA" because he thought she was cheating on him for a while.

what goes around comes around bitch

somehow we ended up back together, because even when he was with her, he'd call me, come see me, and lie to her about it. he told he he stopped talking to me and never saw me. he told me even when he was with her, he wanted to be with me. then why the fark leave me and date her.... oh wait. she's a slut. that's why!

wtf? shouldn't GG create a thread for this? I think other Loungers have the right to know and comment and pass judgment

to be with a guy who treats me with respect IS fantasy. i've never met/dated a guy who treats a woman with respect. my ex before bf i was with for 7 years. it was an abusive relationship the last 2 of them. i did get the courage to finally leave him. that left me with issues.

plus i have daddy issues, which leaves me with trust issues and all men are asses issues

most of them hate my guts.

to be with a guy who treats me with respect IS fantasy. i've never met/dated a guy who treats a woman with respect. my ex before bf i was with for 7 years. it was an abusive relationship the last 2 of them. i did get the courage to finally leave him. that left me with issues.

plus i have daddy issues, which leaves me with trust issues and all men are asses issues

Sorry GG but he sounds like he's been playing everyone

to be with a guy who treats me with respect IS fantasy. i've never met/dated a guy who treats a woman with respect. my ex before bf i was with for 7 years. it was an abusive relationship the last 2 of them. i did get the courage to finally leave him. that left me with issues.

plus i have daddy issues, which leaves me with trust issues and all men are asses issues

Or he was lying about wanting to be with you when he was with her...

You really should ditch this guy. You know for a fact that he lies to you, that he'll cheat on you. And a guy that does that will ALWAYS do that, because he knows he can get away with it.

You deserve better. At the very least, you deserve a guy that won't lie to you and that won't cheat on you.

This guy is just going to keep spinning the lies. Saying he wants to be with you. What he REALLY wants is to you keep you on the side. You're his fallback, the girl he'll resort to when everyone else has left him.

But you can say "no more." You can stand up for yourself and break the cycle. And you should. And I hope that one day, you will.

It isn't a fantasy - I married a guy that treats me and all women with respect. There ARE men like that in this world. If you keep telling yourself it's a fantasy, you're not going to look for any better and end up with a loser.

Let me ask you something - do you want to be lied to, be cheated on and be treated like garbage the rest of your life? Do you feel like that's what you deserve?

If I were to give advice?

1. Break up with cheating BF
2. Take a year ( or 5) to be alone and gain strength
3. Therapy to help with issues

irregardful, you know the Lounge Rules

It isn't a fantasy - I married a guy that treats me and all women with respect. There ARE men like that in this world. If you keep telling yourself it's a fantasy, you're not going to look for any better and end up with a loser.

Let me ask you something - do you want to be lied to, be cheated on and be treated like garbage the rest of your life? Do you feel like that's what you deserve?

He sounds like a jerk

It's not fantasy!!! My hubby is a wonderful guy that treats me with respect and kindness and does a lot of things for me.

You do not have to take that type of bullshit.

Shhhhh.

No one tell my girlfriend...