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Forum Thread

Do I make a move on her

5,132 768 February 5, 2011 at 03:33 AM in Chat
Credit to Emelvee for translating my horrible English.

My friend Sarah left her significant other after he had relations with many other women. I have long been interested in having a dating Sarah, but she has always been in a relationship. She has not shown interest in me romantically, to the point of discussing with me her interest in other men.

Recently, we dined together, but simply as friends. We were alone, but it was not a date - it was planned as a group get-together, but the others did not attend the meal. At this time, she noted that she is not prepared for a serious relationship at this time. We had an enjoyable meal, and met some of her friends later. I made an effort to socialize with her friends and not monopolize Sarah's time. It appeared that all involved had a pleasant evening. Sarah took me home and gave me a goodnight hug. She suggested that I should stay an extra day and join her at a birthday celebration. I informed her of my intend to go home instead; we live in different states.

I received a text message from Sarah later in the morning; she explained that she enjoyed having dinner with me, was glad I was able to attend, and hoped that I enjoyed the time together as well. This text message encouraged me to extend my visit another day. I joined Sarah at a club to celebrate her friend's birthday. I did not focus my attention on Sarah during the party, though I did share a couple of dances with her. I did notice another gentleman flirting with Sarah. This did not disturb me, as I had lost any hope of being more than just a "friend" to Sarah based on her previous behavior towards me. I am hopeful that my plan of playing little attention to her was successful in her developing an interest in me romantically.

At the end of the party, she drove me and my friends to a friends home. I returned to my state the next day. On the morning of my departure, I received a text message from Sarah stating "thanks for coming out… I had a great time… glad you stayed an extra day". I did not return the message. She sent another message, containing an inside joke and inquiring as to whether or not I made it home.

Over the next couple of days, she appeared to be spending a lot of time on my Facebook page. She made some jokes on my Wall. I noted that I wasn't feeling well, and she states that she hoped I would feel better. She made another joke that perhaps my leaving her area was what made me sick. She posted a comment on a very old photograph of mine, making yet another joke. Finally, I listed on Facebook that I am single, then one of our mutual friends asked what is going on - a single heart icon displayed on the screen, making it appear that I am in a relationship. Apparently this caused some confusion, as Sarah made the comment "o its okay, I thought the same thing… but it says single". She made her comment just two minutes after I posted that I am single. To me, it looks like she is stalking me via Facebook. lolomgwtfbbq.

As you might expect, I am thinking of Sarah continuously at this point. She will be in my town on business next week, and will be staying at my home for a night or two.

Do you think she is now interested in me? Her behavior with me has completely changed of late. Should I flirt with her when she visits me, and try to move in on a woman who recently exited a difficult relationship? I would want any relationship with Sarah to be meaningful and not simply something she runs to after leaving her previous relationship.

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Joined Aug 2009
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Beartrkkr
02-05-2011 at 04:33 PM.
02-05-2011 at 04:33 PM.
Might I suggest quite a bit of this.......




If you can't get anywhere with the magic of alcohol, then your chances are bleak...
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Joined Sep 2004
.........................
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Gray.
02-05-2011 at 05:31 PM.
02-05-2011 at 05:31 PM.
I'm going to answer this as a woman who was in a long term relationship and then was single and not looking for a serious relationship.

She is not looking for a serious relationship.

Do not get lost with the flirting or anything. She is lonely, you're probably cute and nice, and she wants something that is not serious.

She probably likes you. But...

Don't expect the relationship to last. It might, but don't count on it. She said she didn't want anything serious and she meant it. If you try to make it serious, you can kiss her goodbye.

I am basing this all off of my own life and experiences, so it's obviously just my opinion. Take it with a grain of salt.
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Joined Oct 2007
No.
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damsel.
02-05-2011 at 07:10 PM.
02-05-2011 at 07:10 PM.
Quote from emelvee :
What's a mang? And is it fun to have sex with one? Woot
laugh out loud
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Joined Dec 2006
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Hawk2007
02-05-2011 at 08:25 PM.
02-05-2011 at 08:25 PM.
Quote from Gray. :
I'm going to answer this as a woman who was in a long term relationship and then was single and not looking for a serious relationship.

She is not looking for a serious relationship.

Do not get lost with the flirting or anything. She is lonely, you're probably cute and nice, and she wants something that is not serious.

She probably likes you. But...

Don't expect the relationship to last. It might, but don't count on it. She said she didn't want anything serious and she meant it. If you try to make it serious, you can kiss her goodbye.

I am basing this all off of my own life and experiences, so it's obviously just my opinion. Take it with a grain of salt.


Eh, I'm more inclined to give the OP's lady friend the benefit of the doubt because women don't know what the hell they want.
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Joined Dec 2006
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Hawk2007
02-05-2011 at 08:29 PM.
02-05-2011 at 08:29 PM.
Quote from smurfsalot :
I agree with Hawk2007

To make it simple:

1. she comes over to your area for business
2. take her out on a date - make it somewhat casual but not too romantic, given the whole facebook status thing, id do this asap shes in town.
3. after date, make a move - go for the kiss dammit!
a. she declines and calls you a creep, then yeah youre in friend zone
b. she kisses back then you know.

if shes not into you man, its all good. though she might get a little weirded out, but if you guys have a good friendship this will be just another thing you guys will laugh at down the road.

Kissing.... I don't know. I'm more inclined to play it safe though the situation can vary.

If she's really flirty and touchy/feely with you, then go for it. But, if not, don't feel badly. I've personally had it go both ways. The current gf, I didn't even so much as even try and hug her after our first date, the second date two nights later, a hug. The third date one week later, holding hands, hugging the works...Plus, I had known this girl for many, many months prior to us getting dinner, so she was well aware of the type of guy I am.

My philosophy is that if it's meant to be, all the early stuff like when the first hug, holding hands, kiss etc. doesn't really matter b/c it'll play itself out naturally. It doesn't need to be on the first, second, third, or even fourth date. However, keep in mind though, don't be a pansy and do make a move eventually when it's pretty clear the interest is there.
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Last edited by Hawk2007 February 5, 2011 at 08:32 PM.
Joined Nov 2007
Finish Him!
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sublevel
02-05-2011 at 09:29 PM.
02-05-2011 at 09:29 PM.
invite her to a fancy dinner and show up in a speedo, if she laughs shes yours. if she frowns, shes a clown.

enjoy!
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Joined Jun 2006
Take Yo Panties Off!!!
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Original Poster
mahdego
02-07-2011 at 08:13 PM.
02-07-2011 at 08:13 PM.
lol so she is already going out on dates with a guy she just met... this chic just does not waste any time. Because she tells me these things, I'm just gonna forget about it. No girl that is interested in you talks about other dudes (I know... I do the same thing to other girls haha). O well, thanks for all the support and advice anyway, but I am just sick of waiting on this woman. Even though she a great catch, there are plenty out there that are as well. You know, ones that will appreciate you for what you bring to the table
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zzyzzx
02-08-2011 at 07:20 AM.
02-08-2011 at 07:20 AM.
Obligatory: PIITB
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SkeezaPleez
02-08-2011 at 07:38 AM.
02-08-2011 at 07:38 AM.
Do the opposite of whatever Slutsky's advice is. It will probably work.
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slutsky
02-08-2011 at 07:40 AM.
02-08-2011 at 07:40 AM.
Quote from SkeezaPleez :
Do the opposite of whatever Slutsky's advice is. It will probably work.
What? What did I say? Buy high sell low?
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Joined Apr 2010
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Majide
02-08-2011 at 08:57 AM.
02-08-2011 at 08:57 AM.
Quote from mahdego :
She quickly jumps from relationship to relationship, not because she is that type of girl, but because she is beautiful and is a really good catch. Should I try making a move?
Quote from mahdego :
lol so she is already going out on dates with a guy she just met... this chic just does not waste any time....

Even though she a great catch, there are plenty out there that are as well.

Wow... yeah she really sounds like a great catch.
Confused3
Are you just trying to say she's hot or something? Because someone who jumps around and dates people she just met really doesn't sound like a "great catch" to me. Maybe you're wording it wrong, or do you just have really low expectations?


Also - it sounds like she's on the rebound. If you are interested in a serious relationship, I'd say to stay away from her.
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Joined Nov 2009
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J3ff
02-08-2011 at 11:48 AM.
02-08-2011 at 11:48 AM.
post her pic now please.
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Joined Apr 2005
Deals, Deals, Deals
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SDBuddy
02-08-2011 at 11:54 AM.
02-08-2011 at 11:54 AM.
Quote from emelvee :
I'll try! Whee
Quote from mahdego :
Credit to Emelvee for translating my horrible English.
I'm too lazy to read it all, but it'd be hilarious if MLV inserted some incorrect translations along the way... look around I'm guessing OP wouldn't have known as he copied/pasted verbatim from MLV.
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Joined Nov 2007
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Roland Deschain
02-08-2011 at 12:06 PM.
02-08-2011 at 12:06 PM.
Quote from Gray. :
I'm going to answer this as a woman who was in a long term relationship and then was single and not looking for a serious relationship.

She is not looking for a serious relationship.

Do not get lost with the flirting or anything. She is lonely, you're probably cute and nice, and she wants something that is not serious.

She probably likes you. But...

Don't expect the relationship to last. It might, but don't count on it. She said she didn't want anything serious and she meant it. If you try to make it serious, you can kiss her goodbye.

I am basing this all off of my own life and experiences, so it's obviously just my opinion. Take it with a grain of salt.

THIS.

She does not want anything serious. But you know what her subconscious wants (and knows that it can get from you)?

She needs validation whether she knows it or not. Here's the best part. As her so called "friend" you can provide this validation while taking care of some short term needs of your own (ie: sex).

But I see you've mistaken your feelings for this girl to be that of "friendship" and that your intentions are actually quite honorable so i won't provide any advice on how you could manipulate this situation into one that would result in undoubtedly wild and desperate animalistic sex which generally involves women who have just recently had their hearts crushed and now seek to validate their very being. (although I'm told fat chick are always like this)

But be advised, if you play your cards right you can have sex with her and possibly even a short term semi-serious relationship. But she'll likely jump ship on you as you live in another state and she will undoubtedly meat (spelling error intended) another guy (especially if she's a combination of sweet and pretty).
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Last edited by Roland Deschain February 8, 2011 at 12:15 PM.

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Joined Jun 2006
Take Yo Panties Off!!!
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Original Poster
mahdego
02-08-2011 at 12:21 PM.
02-08-2011 at 12:21 PM.
Quote from Roland Deschain :
THIS.

She does not want anything serious. But you know what her subconscious wants (and knows that it can get from you)?

She needs validation whether she knows it or not. Here's the best part. As her so called "friend" you can provide this validation while taking care of some short term needs of your own (ie: sex).

But I see you've mistaken your feelings for this girl to be that of "friendship" and that your intentions are actually quite honorable so i won't provide any advice on how you could manipulate this situation into one that would result in undoubtedly wild and desperate animalistic sex which generally involves women who have just recently had their hearts crushed and now seek to validate their very being. (although I'm told fat chick are always like this)

But be advised, if you play your cards right you can have sex with her and possibly even a short term semi-serious relationship. But she'll likely jump ship on you as you live in another state and she will undoubtedly meat (spelling error intended) another guy (especially if she's a combination of sweet and pretty).
I'd rep you if I could for laughter about animalistic sex. Too bad I want to be a nice guy Frown. I have no idea how fat chics are always like haha. She is like 120 lbs (if that). I do tend to like thicker girls though Smilie
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