Joined Jun 2006
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Forum Thread
Do I make a move on her
February 5, 2011 at
03:33 AM
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Credit to Emelvee for translating my horrible English.
My friend Sarah left her significant other after he had relations with many other women. I have long been interested in having a dating Sarah, but she has always been in a relationship. She has not shown interest in me romantically, to the point of discussing with me her interest in other men.
Recently, we dined together, but simply as friends. We were alone, but it was not a date - it was planned as a group get-together, but the others did not attend the meal. At this time, she noted that she is not prepared for a serious relationship at this time. We had an enjoyable meal, and met some of her friends later. I made an effort to socialize with her friends and not monopolize Sarah's time. It appeared that all involved had a pleasant evening. Sarah took me home and gave me a goodnight hug. She suggested that I should stay an extra day and join her at a birthday celebration. I informed her of my intend to go home instead; we live in different states.
I received a text message from Sarah later in the morning; she explained that she enjoyed having dinner with me, was glad I was able to attend, and hoped that I enjoyed the time together as well. This text message encouraged me to extend my visit another day. I joined Sarah at a club to celebrate her friend's birthday. I did not focus my attention on Sarah during the party, though I did share a couple of dances with her. I did notice another gentleman flirting with Sarah. This did not disturb me, as I had lost any hope of being more than just a "friend" to Sarah based on her previous behavior towards me. I am hopeful that my plan of playing little attention to her was successful in her developing an interest in me romantically.
At the end of the party, she drove me and my friends to a friends home. I returned to my state the next day. On the morning of my departure, I received a text message from Sarah stating "thanks for coming out… I had a great time… glad you stayed an extra day". I did not return the message. She sent another message, containing an inside joke and inquiring as to whether or not I made it home.
Over the next couple of days, she appeared to be spending a lot of time on my Facebook page. She made some jokes on my Wall. I noted that I wasn't feeling well, and she states that she hoped I would feel better. She made another joke that perhaps my leaving her area was what made me sick. She posted a comment on a very old photograph of mine, making yet another joke. Finally, I listed on Facebook that I am single, then one of our mutual friends asked what is going on - a single heart icon displayed on the screen, making it appear that I am in a relationship. Apparently this caused some confusion, as Sarah made the comment "o its okay, I thought the same thing… but it says single". She made her comment just two minutes after I posted that I am single. To me, it looks like she is stalking me via Facebook. lolomgwtfbbq.
As you might expect, I am thinking of Sarah continuously at this point. She will be in my town on business next week, and will be staying at my home for a night or two.
Do you think she is now interested in me? Her behavior with me has completely changed of late. Should I flirt with her when she visits me, and try to move in on a woman who recently exited a difficult relationship? I would want any relationship with Sarah to be meaningful and not simply something she runs to after leaving her previous relationship.
My friend Sarah left her significant other after he had relations with many other women. I have long been interested in having a dating Sarah, but she has always been in a relationship. She has not shown interest in me romantically, to the point of discussing with me her interest in other men.
Recently, we dined together, but simply as friends. We were alone, but it was not a date - it was planned as a group get-together, but the others did not attend the meal. At this time, she noted that she is not prepared for a serious relationship at this time. We had an enjoyable meal, and met some of her friends later. I made an effort to socialize with her friends and not monopolize Sarah's time. It appeared that all involved had a pleasant evening. Sarah took me home and gave me a goodnight hug. She suggested that I should stay an extra day and join her at a birthday celebration. I informed her of my intend to go home instead; we live in different states.
I received a text message from Sarah later in the morning; she explained that she enjoyed having dinner with me, was glad I was able to attend, and hoped that I enjoyed the time together as well. This text message encouraged me to extend my visit another day. I joined Sarah at a club to celebrate her friend's birthday. I did not focus my attention on Sarah during the party, though I did share a couple of dances with her. I did notice another gentleman flirting with Sarah. This did not disturb me, as I had lost any hope of being more than just a "friend" to Sarah based on her previous behavior towards me. I am hopeful that my plan of playing little attention to her was successful in her developing an interest in me romantically.
At the end of the party, she drove me and my friends to a friends home. I returned to my state the next day. On the morning of my departure, I received a text message from Sarah stating "thanks for coming out… I had a great time… glad you stayed an extra day". I did not return the message. She sent another message, containing an inside joke and inquiring as to whether or not I made it home.
Over the next couple of days, she appeared to be spending a lot of time on my Facebook page. She made some jokes on my Wall. I noted that I wasn't feeling well, and she states that she hoped I would feel better. She made another joke that perhaps my leaving her area was what made me sick. She posted a comment on a very old photograph of mine, making yet another joke. Finally, I listed on Facebook that I am single, then one of our mutual friends asked what is going on - a single heart icon displayed on the screen, making it appear that I am in a relationship. Apparently this caused some confusion, as Sarah made the comment "o its okay, I thought the same thing… but it says single". She made her comment just two minutes after I posted that I am single. To me, it looks like she is stalking me via Facebook. lolomgwtfbbq.
As you might expect, I am thinking of Sarah continuously at this point. She will be in my town on business next week, and will be staying at my home for a night or two.
Do you think she is now interested in me? Her behavior with me has completely changed of late. Should I flirt with her when she visits me, and try to move in on a woman who recently exited a difficult relationship? I would want any relationship with Sarah to be meaningful and not simply something she runs to after leaving her previous relationship.
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If you can't get anywhere with the magic of alcohol, then your chances are bleak...
She is not looking for a serious relationship.
Do not get lost with the flirting or anything. She is lonely, you're probably cute and nice, and she wants something that is not serious.
She probably likes you. But...
Don't expect the relationship to last. It might, but don't count on it. She said she didn't want anything serious and she meant it. If you try to make it serious, you can kiss her goodbye.
I am basing this all off of my own life and experiences, so it's obviously just my opinion. Take it with a grain of salt.
She is not looking for a serious relationship.
Do not get lost with the flirting or anything. She is lonely, you're probably cute and nice, and she wants something that is not serious.
She probably likes you. But...
Don't expect the relationship to last. It might, but don't count on it. She said she didn't want anything serious and she meant it. If you try to make it serious, you can kiss her goodbye.
I am basing this all off of my own life and experiences, so it's obviously just my opinion. Take it with a grain of salt.
Eh, I'm more inclined to give the OP's lady friend the benefit of the doubt because women don't know what the hell they want.
To make it simple:
1. she comes over to your area for business
2. take her out on a date - make it somewhat casual but not too romantic, given the whole facebook status thing, id do this asap shes in town.
3. after date, make a move - go for the kiss dammit!
a. she declines and calls you a creep, then yeah youre in friend zone
b. she kisses back then you know.
if shes not into you man, its all good. though she might get a little weirded out, but if you guys have a good friendship this will be just another thing you guys will laugh at down the road.
Kissing.... I don't know. I'm more inclined to play it safe though the situation can vary.
If she's really flirty and touchy/feely with you, then go for it. But, if not, don't feel badly. I've personally had it go both ways. The current gf, I didn't even so much as even try and hug her after our first date, the second date two nights later, a hug. The third date one week later, holding hands, hugging the works...Plus, I had known this girl for many, many months prior to us getting dinner, so she was well aware of the type of guy I am.
My philosophy is that if it's meant to be, all the early stuff like when the first hug, holding hands, kiss etc. doesn't really matter b/c it'll play itself out naturally. It doesn't need to be on the first, second, third, or even fourth date. However, keep in mind though, don't be a pansy and do make a move eventually when it's pretty clear the interest is there.
enjoy!
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Even though she a great catch, there are plenty out there that are as well.
Wow... yeah she really sounds like a great catch.
Are you just trying to say she's hot or something? Because someone who jumps around and dates people she just met really doesn't sound like a "great catch" to me. Maybe you're wording it wrong, or do you just have really low expectations?
Also - it sounds like she's on the rebound. If you are interested in a serious relationship, I'd say to stay away from her.
She is not looking for a serious relationship.
Do not get lost with the flirting or anything. She is lonely, you're probably cute and nice, and she wants something that is not serious.
She probably likes you. But...
Don't expect the relationship to last. It might, but don't count on it. She said she didn't want anything serious and she meant it. If you try to make it serious, you can kiss her goodbye.
I am basing this all off of my own life and experiences, so it's obviously just my opinion. Take it with a grain of salt.
THIS.
She does not want anything serious. But you know what her subconscious wants (and knows that it can get from you)?
She needs validation whether she knows it or not. Here's the best part. As her so called "friend" you can provide this validation while taking care of some short term needs of your own (ie: sex).
But I see you've mistaken your feelings for this girl to be that of "friendship" and that your intentions are actually quite honorable so i won't provide any advice on how you could manipulate this situation into one that would result in undoubtedly wild and desperate animalistic sex which generally involves women who have just recently had their hearts crushed and now seek to validate their very being. (although I'm told fat chick are always like this)
But be advised, if you play your cards right you can have sex with her and possibly even a short term semi-serious relationship. But she'll likely jump ship on you as you live in another state and she will undoubtedly meat (spelling error intended) another guy (especially if she's a combination of sweet and pretty).
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She does not want anything serious. But you know what her subconscious wants (and knows that it can get from you)?
She needs validation whether she knows it or not. Here's the best part. As her so called "friend" you can provide this validation while taking care of some short term needs of your own (ie: sex).
But I see you've mistaken your feelings for this girl to be that of "friendship" and that your intentions are actually quite honorable so i won't provide any advice on how you could manipulate this situation into one that would result in undoubtedly wild and desperate animalistic sex which generally involves women who have just recently had their hearts crushed and now seek to validate their very being. (although I'm told fat chick are always like this)
But be advised, if you play your cards right you can have sex with her and possibly even a short term semi-serious relationship. But she'll likely jump ship on you as you live in another state and she will undoubtedly meat (spelling error intended) another guy (especially if she's a combination of sweet and pretty).