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Forum Thread

I'm getting a Vasectomy next week!!

3,704 4,318 August 18, 2011 at 11:13 AM in Question
Limited OT, please.

Okay.......I'm getting snipped. EEK!

My GF's okay with it, but I'm kinda concerned how I break it to my little rich and cranky Grammy that the line will now end with me. I'm 40 and she still thinks any minute I'm going to get married and produce an heir. Hate to tell her but no little future Jon Boy nor Angus will ever appear in this lifetime. My sister has two children ( one boy and one girl ) but because they don't have the family surname, my Grandmother pretty much thinks they don't really count. She thinks we're all blue bloods and therefore "special" and already has big plans for my future MALE offspring. ( baby girls would be pampered but basically ignored, of course ).

Now isn't that special? Rofl2


Any ideas how I can tell my Grandmother ( after the surgery, of course, as she'll try to put a stop to it if she knows ahead of time ) without endangering my life, my peace, and of course, despite my lame protestations of not wanting it, my eventual huge inheritance? I wouldn't put it past her to have me committed, pay the doctor off, or her feign a stroke or heart attack to stop me, so I prefer to tell her when it's a done deal.

Also, has anybody here had a vasectomy and could maybe give me some assurance that it's not really all that painful or dangerous and that ( big ) Sam The Sham and The Pharoahs will all still work correctly?

Discuss. Big Grin

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Joined Nov 2005
L6: Expert
> bubble2 1,158 Posts
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tigger_too_wooh
08-18-2011 at 11:48 AM.
08-18-2011 at 11:48 AM.
Quote from JSinger :

Peas? Peas? Do they have some magical gonad healing property or something? :

Confused
No, you don't eat them... they substitute for an ice pack. They "mold" to the area so it's not colder in one place than the other. Corn or black eyed peas would work just as well. Peas are just cheaper around here. I bought three bags and hubby rotated them. Don't worry, they were promptly tossed after the healing and never eaten.
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Joined Aug 2005
Baldilocks
> bubble2 41,172 Posts
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emelvee
08-18-2011 at 11:51 AM.
08-18-2011 at 11:51 AM.
Quote from stealth :
It sounds like you're only doing this so you can rub it in your grandma's face. Why even tell her at all? Dontknow
That's gross if he's rubbing it in her face. Sick

His balls are gonna be huge for a while.
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Joined Aug 2003
(o)(o)
> bubble2 9,552 Posts
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ikonoklast
08-18-2011 at 11:51 AM.
08-18-2011 at 11:51 AM.
Quote from JSinger :
Peas? Peas? Do they have some magical gonad healing property or something? :

Confused
You are supposed to stick peas up your urethra after the procedure.
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Joined Mar 2009
Schrödinger's Frog
> bubble2 19,435 Posts
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Frogstar
08-18-2011 at 11:53 AM.
08-18-2011 at 11:53 AM.
Quote from ikonoklast :
You are supposed to stick peas up your urethra after the procedure.
Crylol
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Joined Jan 2008
HER SPOILED HIGHNESS
> bubble2 9,504 Posts
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ALVSGIRLY
08-18-2011 at 11:55 AM.
08-18-2011 at 11:55 AM.
Quote from Count_Chocula :
you don't have trouble findin things in the plus sizes?
How much you want to bet that my ass is smaller than yours Stick Out Tongue?
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Joined Dec 2007
Brown Recluse Aficionado
> bubble2 7,411 Posts
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chevvy
08-18-2011 at 11:55 AM.
08-18-2011 at 11:55 AM.
I say don't do it, but that's just because I like planting my seed. Honestly why would you get snipped? If you don't want to have kids then get out of the cave before you juice or use a condom or something. Hell....PIITB. But if she does by chance get pregnant.....BE A DAD!!! It's one of the best things in the world, and if you do it right you're gonna be blessed with a great relationship with YOUR child that you would have likely never had.
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Joined Mar 2010
Who needs a drink?
> bubble2 1,827 Posts
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Daveismyhero
08-18-2011 at 11:56 AM.
08-18-2011 at 11:56 AM.
Maybe fill up one of these [amazon.com] before the big procedure and stick it in the freezer, just in case?

Dave

P.S. And totally don't tell.
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Joined Dec 2007
Brown Recluse Aficionado
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chevvy
08-18-2011 at 11:56 AM.
08-18-2011 at 11:56 AM.
Quote from ALVSGIRLY :
How much you want to bet that my ass is smaller than yours Stick Out Tongue?

You're right. He does have a good 2 inches in height on you.
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Joined Mar 2004
L10: Grand Master
> bubble2 7,465 Posts
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Shucksgirl
08-18-2011 at 11:57 AM.
08-18-2011 at 11:57 AM.
Quote from ikonoklast :
You are supposed to stick peas up your urethra after the procedure.
Nice advice Dr. Ikon. laugh out loud
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Joined Nov 2003
Double Staff Oreos
> bubble2 26,901 Posts
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Global Mod
rayzac | Staff
08-18-2011 at 11:58 AM.
08-18-2011 at 11:58 AM.
You: Grandma, I am gay.
Grandma: NOOOOOO!!!!!
You: Just kidding. Actually, I just had a vasectomy.
Grandma: Well, OK then.
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Joined Dec 2005
My # is bigger than yours
> bubble2 37,381 Posts
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SnakePlisken
08-18-2011 at 11:59 AM.
08-18-2011 at 11:59 AM.
Quote from chewspam :
You're right. He does have a good 2 inches in height on you.
at least a foot in both height & length
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Joined Jan 2008
HER SPOILED HIGHNESS
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ALVSGIRLY
08-18-2011 at 12:03 PM.
08-18-2011 at 12:03 PM.
Quote from Count_Chocula :
at least a foot in both height & length
Isn't that the same thing?
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Joined Mar 2005
Won Car from SD
> bubble2 11,418 Posts
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saint.
08-18-2011 at 12:08 PM.
08-18-2011 at 12:08 PM.
Quote from chewspam :
I say don't do it, but that's just because I like planting my seed. Honestly why would you get snipped? If you don't want to have kids then get out of the cave before you juice or use a condom or something. Hell....PIITB. But if she does by chance get pregnant.....BE A DAD!!! It's one of the best things in the world, and if you do it right you're gonna be blessed with a great relationship with YOUR child that you would have likely never had.
Not everyone wants to be a Dad.
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Joined Mar 2009
Schrödinger's Frog
> bubble2 19,435 Posts
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Frogstar
08-18-2011 at 12:09 PM.
08-18-2011 at 12:09 PM.
Quote from ALVSGIRLY :
Isn't that the same thing?
Did you really just ask if height and length are the same thing? Blink
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Joined Jan 2008
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ALVSGIRLY
08-18-2011 at 12:11 PM.
08-18-2011 at 12:11 PM.
Quote from Frogstar :
Did you really just ask if height and length are the same thing? Blink
Isn't the height the length of your body?

Length is what they call a baby's height, right?
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