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How do I get pale again?

10,633 2,427 June 9, 2012 at 01:07 PM in Sad
Ok, so summer has started and I have been playing lots more tennis, I mean lots, avg. 10+ hours a week, and even using sunblock I have went up a good 5 shades, I am Chinese suppose to be lighter/light skin, yellow if you wanna say, now I look dark as some of the Hispanic people out there. Anything I can do? My parents get md at me for this b/c they say girls won't like me as I am so dark and stuff, and they always tell me to not play tennis although I do anyway. Anyway, any advice how to reverse this?
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jaded.echo
06-11-2012 at 09:18 PM.
06-11-2012 at 09:18 PM.
Quote from tp4tissue :
Having been Chinese all my life.. I can say one thing for certain... Fvck the chinese culture, the entire new generation of young chinese believe this as well. They won't say it so bluntly to remain politically correct, but that's the trend.

When was the last time you went back. hug



I can tell you've never tried to borrow money from the bank. LMAO
I'm young. I'm part of the young Chinese-American generation. I am 26yo. I do no hate the Chinese culture. They're just in a different place. Please do not speak for me. I have respect for my country even though I don't hold much of the same believes. But not holding the same believes is due to me being raised here and having gotten used to the cultural norms here. This is my world now. My life is here with my friends and family. I work here. I go to school here. I find love here.

I just went back to live in China for 4 months last year, Feb-Jun 2011. With me, I brought a cousin who was born here and had never been to China ever in her life. I explained and translated our culture to her during our whole trip.

And prior to that, in 2008, I took a 7-week backpacking trip to China with my ex-bf and another friend to 15+ different cities along the Chinese coast. I was the only Chinese-speaking person on the trip and did all the translating even though I can only read 1st grade Chinese. I am proud of my attachment to my homeland and proud of the trips I made back there to get to know it.
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Last edited by jaydid.echo June 11, 2012 at 09:30 PM.
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jaded.echo
06-11-2012 at 09:29 PM.
06-11-2012 at 09:29 PM.
Quote from The Llama :
Well, except for that short time where the Chinese wanted to be like the Mongolians and copied their dress, hair, customs etc. I'd guess that they'd have gone for skin color too, if they could.

Devils advocate aside, you make some great points, but you'd have to be a bit naive in this country to see something posted that essentially says "mom and dad say the darker I am, the worse it is for me" and not expect to get a bit of knee jerk backlash. Right or wrong, that's kind of how the OP came across. And to be honest, if I saw someone posting about how their parents said something along the lines of "no girl will ever want you if you dress like that and wear your hair like that and have a nose ring" I'd have a similar reaction to the people you quoted above.
Oh no, I totally believe agree with people telling OP to forget about what his parents are saying. That's why I mentioned it's just like "other parents would advice their kids not to gain weight or not to dress like goths or not to have certain radical haircuts or not to have tattoos."

I'm simply trying to get people to see it's not a race issue. It's just regular parents misguided advice, only difference is that the advice is based off another culture.
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Maleficent
06-11-2012 at 09:32 PM.
06-11-2012 at 09:32 PM.
Quote from jaydid.echo :
Oh no, I totally believe agree with people telling OP to forget about what his parents are saying. That's why I mentioned it's just like "other parents would advice their kids not to gain weight or not to dress like goths or not to have certain radical haircuts or not to have tattoos."
See, I've never heard of parents getting upset for that kind of thing for reasons of being unable to attract a mate like in OP's case. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, it just doesn't seem that widespread to me.

My parents never told me "oh don't gain weight or dress weird, you'll never attract a man that way!" That would just seem out of place here, I would think.
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The Llama
06-11-2012 at 09:37 PM.
06-11-2012 at 09:37 PM.
Quote from jaydid.echo :
Oh no, I totally believe agree with people telling OP to forget about what his parents are saying. That's why I mentioned it's just like "other parents would advice their kids not to gain weight or not to dress like goths or not to have certain radical haircuts or not to have tattoos."

I'm simply trying to get people to see it's not a race issue. It's just regular parents misguided advice, only difference is that the advice is based off another culture.
ok, I didn't get that as the crux of what you were saying. It sounded like you were defending culture at all costs, even if it sounded racist. Obviously I was wrong on that.
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jaded.echo
06-11-2012 at 09:37 PM.
06-11-2012 at 09:37 PM.
Some parents are more tolerant than others. Some parents give their kids more freedom. Some parents tell their kids to follow by certain social norms. Parents come in all shapes and sizes.

All I'm saying is that the white issue here doesn't have to do with race. Smilie
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Maleficent
06-11-2012 at 09:39 PM.
06-11-2012 at 09:39 PM.
Quote from jaydid.echo :
Some parents are more tolerant than others. Some parents give their kids more freedom. Some parents tell their kids to follow by certain social norms. Parents come in all shapes and sizes.

All I'm saying is that the white issue here doesn't have to do with race. Smilie
Well then I suppose I'm confused why you quoted me originally, because I didn't say anything about the white issue or race. Scratchhead
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jaded.echo
06-11-2012 at 09:39 PM.
06-11-2012 at 09:39 PM.
Quote from The Llama :
even if it sounded racist.
My whole point was that OP's parents idea of white/pale skin isn't racist. It comes from a different culture so it's based off a different reason.

Quote from Maleficent :
Well then I suppose I'm confused why you quoted me originally, because I didn't say anything about the white issue or race. Scratchhead
Then I apologize if I misquoted.
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Last edited by jaydid.echo June 11, 2012 at 09:39 PM.

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The Llama
06-11-2012 at 09:40 PM.
06-11-2012 at 09:40 PM.
Quote from Maleficent :
See, I've never heard of parents getting upset for that kind of thing for reasons of being unable to attract a mate like in OP's case. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, it just doesn't seem that widespread to me.

My parents never told me "oh don't gain weight or dress weird, you'll never attract a man that way!" That would just seem out of place here, I would think.
No, she has a point. I've definitely seen fathers who get downright neurotic about their daughters' weight because they'll never get a husband.

There was a weight loss show recently where they follow the person around for the summer and document their lives. This one girl had a father whose MAIN concern for his daughters weight loss was that now she had a better chance of getting a husband. To the point that even her brothers (who were as ruthless as brothers can be to a sister) had to sit the father down and explain that she wasn't losing weight with the express purpose of gaining a husband. It was pretty sad.
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tennisplayer888
06-11-2012 at 09:40 PM.
06-11-2012 at 09:40 PM.
Quote from tp4tissue :
LOL, girls won't like your chubbiness. That's really not too serious of a tan. It goes away when you play enough video-games.

Check out guildwars 2 when it out, or do some evercrack. Whiten you right up



And Mao FVCKed these guys over during the u know what revolution. hug
I wish I could, but I don't play much video games. Never really had the time. The only computer game I ever played was Runescape, and that was back in the 7th/8th grade.
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Last edited by tennisplayer888 June 11, 2012 at 09:48 PM.
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The Llama
06-11-2012 at 09:40 PM.
06-11-2012 at 09:40 PM.
Quote from jaydid.echo :
My whole point was that OP's parents idea of white/pale skin isn't racist. It comes from a different culture so it's based off a different reason.
Yup, and I"m saying I get that now.
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jaded.echo
06-11-2012 at 09:42 PM.
06-11-2012 at 09:42 PM.
Quote from Maleficent :
Well then I suppose I'm confused why you quoted me originally, because I didn't say anything about the white issue or race. Scratchhead
Though it is disrespectful to say a culture is one-hundred years behind another just bc it's different. Different is just different. Don't say we're behind. Bc that makes it sound like our culture is inferior.
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Maleficent
06-11-2012 at 09:42 PM.
06-11-2012 at 09:42 PM.
Quote from jaydid.echo :
My whole point was that OP's parents idea of white/pale skin isn't racist. It comes from a different culture so it's based off a different reason.


Then I apologize if I misquoted.
Oh okay, cool. Fair enough. Big Grin

Quote from The Llama :
No, she has a point. I've definitely seen fathers who get downright neurotic about their daughters' weight because they'll never get a husband.

There was a weight loss show recently where they follow the person around for the summer and document their lives. This one girl had a father whose MAIN concern for his daughters weight loss was that now she had a better chance of getting a husband. To the point that even her brothers (who were as ruthless as brothers can be to a sister) had to sit the father down and explain that she wasn't losing weight with the express purpose of gaining a husband. It was pretty sad.
Wow, really? I've never heard of anything like that. Is this regional? On Jerry Springer? Where do you see/hear this kind of thing? EEK!
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arjunsr
06-11-2012 at 09:43 PM.
06-11-2012 at 09:43 PM.
Quote from jaydid.echo :
My whole point was that OP's parents idea of white/pale skin isn't racist. It comes from a different culture so it's based off a different reason.
well said. it has nothing to do with race, just perception. i think the best is comparing people who want to get a tan. we don't see anything wrong with that. but in some cultures being light skinned is just as valued.
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jaded.echo
06-11-2012 at 09:43 PM.
06-11-2012 at 09:43 PM.
Quote from The Llama :
Yup, and I"m saying I get that now.
hug
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Original Poster
tennisplayer888
06-11-2012 at 09:46 PM.
06-11-2012 at 09:46 PM.
Quote from Maleficent :
See, I've never heard of parents getting upset for that kind of thing for reasons of being unable to attract a mate like in OP's case. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, it just doesn't seem that widespread to me.

My parents never told me "oh don't gain weight or dress weird, you'll never attract a man that way!" That would just seem out of place here, I would think.
Quote from jaydid.echo :
Some parents are more tolerant than others. Some parents give their kids more freedom. Some parents tell their kids to follow by certain social norms. Parents come in all shapes and sizes.

All I'm saying is that the white issue here doesn't have to do with race. Smilie
Yea, my parents are a bit weird on some things like this issue. But I will admit, I think I am pretty tan from the norm. of my usual summers, so I was looking for a solution, and yes, I thought I should be more pale/yellow, whatever you wanna call the Chinese race in terms of color. Not white... But seriously, my parents are pretty mixed in socialism, we follow beliefs of Chinese and we adapt to American social "norms", so I cannot blame them for wanting certain things from me. I think the whole point of having parents is to have them guide you when you make certain mistakes big or small, you are more similar to them, or some parental figure, than you lead on no matter how much you deny it.
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