RETIRED Marlboro Outwit the West Funny Farm

bettyc12

Joined Jun 2008

L5: Journeyman

882 Posts

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bettyc12

08-29-2012 at 01:22 PM.

Quote from shesays

:

I'm back. The last two months have been really hard because my cat, Miss Kitty, was diagnosed with cancer on 6/20. The steroids seemed to be working for a while, but then she got pneumonia and things went downhill pretty quickly. The antibiotics and vitamin C cleared up that problem but it took a lot out of her. I think the cancer started spreading and even though she didn't seem to be in pain (the vets and I agreed on that), she was getting weaker and weaker. She was also getting more dependent. I stopped going to the senior center and basically just stayed home with her.

She used to sleep on a pillow next to the computer, but for the last few weeks, she slept on the pillow I moved to in front of the keyboard. (If I hadn't moved the pillow there, she'd sleep on the wood desk in front of the keyboard and I wanted her to be comfortable.) She'd lean against my chest and I'd put my arms around her sides as I clicked and typed on contest entries and work I did at home for the Center.

She'd always been affectionate – needed and gave more love and attention than any other cat I'd ever had – but for the last month or so, she wouldn't leave my side. When I wasn't at the computer, I'd lie on the couch and she'd sleep on my chest as I read. If I were doing something at the dining room table, I hold her in one hand and work with the other. She couldn't deal with not being touched and held all the time.

On Sunday, she was really really sick and I thought I'd have to take her back to the vet and if he couldn't help, we'd have her put to sleep. He had said from the beginning of this illness that it was fine with him if I wanted to be there when it happened. Well, I got up on Monday morning and it became clear that things were worse. Following is the email I sent to my sister later that morning:

"Miss Kitty waited until I woke up this morning. She hadn't come to bed last nite, but that was okay. I scooted her pillow in front of the keyboard and started to do my contests, but she was insistent about getting her belly rubbed so I did that and realized that her pillow was wet – she'd urinated on it. I realized that she hadn't had the strength to get up and use the litter box and knew I'd have to bring her back to the vet. Suddenly she had trouble breathing – I mean she was gasping so hard – so I held her and told her how she had to be strong and I'd get her help as soon as the vet opened, but she died. She waited for me to wake up and hold her one last time and then she died. She didn't die alone and that's what I wanted. So now I have to wait until 7 when I can call the vet and ask him what to do about the body. Sometimes, when cats die of a specific disease, vet schools want the bodies to dissect and study. That's fine with me because she's gone and if her husk can help another cat down the line, so be it.

I'm just glad that she waited for me and didn't die alone."

I took her body to the vet's that morning, although it was hard to do. As I explained to my sister the next day,

"You know what was really pathetic – I can say that now even though it seemed pretty logical to me at the time. She was lying (dead) on the pillow next to the computer (her favorite spot) and I looked at her and thought, "Hmmmmm, I could keep her there for a few days because she looks like she's just asleep. Maybe it will give me time to get accustomed to her being gone." But then I remembered that it's going to be really hot this week and she'd probably start to smell fairly quickly. So I was good and brought her to vet. But if she'd died in the winter, I'm not certain what I would have done. I told you it was pathetic.
On Friday I'll find out when my new cat will be ready for pickup. It might not be until next week, but when I gave my vet the specs for my new (albeit currently unknown) lovely, he said it should be no problem finding her for me. And in case you were wondering, they're as follows:

We need another cat:
1. Female
2. A cat nobody else will probably want
3. An older cat (up to age 5) – I will undoubtedly die before the cat does and I figure an older cat will need a home more than a younger one.
4. No need for her to be pretty – I'll love her madly even if she only has one ear/no tail/missing some fur/etc.
5. I'd like her to be healthy of course – to cut down on vet bills (sorry, Dr. Jordan)

Azizi needs a new best friend and I need another cat to love.

When I gave him the tote bag with Miss K in it (she was inside a plastic bag and then put in the tote – I had to take her on two buses and didn't want people to freak out if the tote fell open), Dr. Jordan held her like she was a baby in his arms as he read the specs and we talked. I just wanted to rip her out of his hands and take her home. She was such a luv.
My only consolation is that the new cat has to be nicer to Azizi than Miss Kitty was. Well okay, I'm also glad that she won't suffer any more. She had a good sixteen years with me and I know that until the last two months she was a happy cat. I'll sure miss her."

I'm currently able to not cry for an hour or so at a time and decided it was time to start getting back to the real world. I won't go back to the Center until the new cat has acclimated and until I won't make a fool of myself by breaking into tears in public. But you can't see if I'm crying so here I am again. And you know what's funny? I've actually won some good stuff since Miss K got sick. Probably because I spent more time at the computer because I haven't been going out much except to food shop. My sister has been making out like a bandit.

I suppose you all realize, though, that I'd rather have Miss K back than all the prizes I've ever won. It's just not possible, unfortunately.

My sister was funny about the new cat being nicer to Azizi. She wrote:
"Azizi will miss Miss Kitty but only for a few days. After that he will go into survival mode with the new cat. He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Miss Kitty only let him survive because she felt sorry for him. And he knew it. The new cat has no past "baggage," so she starts off fresh. She can make a whip out of scrap material around the apartment and be the boss from day one.
Nine years of Miss K driving Azizi crazy was worth it for Azizi. Kept him on his toes. If the new cat is even 1 percent nicer to him, it's a "win is a win" for him."

She's right, by the by. Azizi is a total luv, but dumb as a post.

And as for all the complaining I know you've been doing as to how long it's taken to read this missive – suck it up, people. It's not like you had anything better to do. Geez.

My heart feels heavy for your loss. I am so sorry.

RETIRED Marlboro Outwit the West Funny Farm

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