Joined Oct 2010
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Forum Thread
RETIRED Marlboro Outwit the West Funny Farm
October 16, 2010 at
01:35 PM
Hi all,
I started this thread for anyone who wants to come here for lite discussion, jokes, and just general discussion and fun.
Everyone is welcome!
I was thinking that maybe it would be helpful to keep the original thread to a bit more of a serious discussion of the clues and answers.
This would make the original thread more useful to those seeking serious information and clues without having to read through hundreds of extraneous messages.
So, I hope it catches on !
So pop a beer and pull up a chair and relax !
[removed notifications]
I started this thread for anyone who wants to come here for lite discussion, jokes, and just general discussion and fun.
Everyone is welcome!
I was thinking that maybe it would be helpful to keep the original thread to a bit more of a serious discussion of the clues and answers.
This would make the original thread more useful to those seeking serious information and clues without having to read through hundreds of extraneous messages.
So, I hope it catches on !
So pop a beer and pull up a chair and relax !
[removed notifications]
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1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
...
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film, "did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here???
1. Both of my puters have partitioned drives (C, D). I'd like to store DLs (photos, tunes) on D but can't. It seems that D; is only for back ups, but I 'back up' on an external HD (not often enough, but still...). I'm sitting here w/too much on C & an empty D.
2.Is there some program that will scan my puter and tell me exactly what drivers I need to update(please do not say WUD)? The NB has a Samsung update that works, but the Asus (from all accounts) doesn't. I know that I can go to Asus, view their DLs but that's too complicated for my teeny tiny brain!
3. Blondeey, are you looking for a job? I need a Life Coach!!
TIA (if nothing else...for reading)!
Little win this morning
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
...On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Back to bidniz: So the D needs an OS?
1. Both of my puters have partitioned drives (C, D). I'd like to store DLs (photos, tunes) on D but can't. It seems that D; is only for back ups, but I 'back up' on an external HD (not often enough, but still...). I'm sitting here w/too much on C & an empty D.
2.Is there some program that will scan my puter and tell me exactly what drivers I need to update(please do not say WUD)? The NB has a Samsung update that works, but the Asus (from all accounts) doesn't. I know that I can go to Asus, view their DLs but that's too complicated for my teeny tiny brain!
3. Blondeey, are you looking for a job? I need a Life Coach!!
TIA (if nothing else...for reading)!
Sign up for a Slickdeals account to remove this ad.
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Back to bidniz: So the D needs an OS?
1. Both of my puters have partitioned drives (C, D). I'd like to store DLs (photos, tunes) on D but can't. It seems that D; is only for back ups, but I 'back up' on an external HD (not often enough, but still...). I'm sitting here w/too much on C & an empty D.
2.Is there some program that will scan my puter and tell me exactly what drivers I need to update(please do not say WUD)? The NB has a Samsung update that works, but the Asus (from all accounts) doesn't. I know that I can go to Asus, view their DLs but that's too complicated for my teeny tiny brain!
3. Blondeey, are you looking for a job? I need a Life Coach!!
TIA (if nothing else...for reading)!
I have sooo many jobs it is unreal. When I worked it was better but then I had a little apartment without all these repairs.
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
...On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
...On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
QUOTE]
As opposed to the toys Trace and Justin would use them for
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