Joined Aug 2006
L8: Grand Teacher
Forum Thread
Dear Neighbor
June 11, 2008 at
11:11 AM
in
Question
Complete this sentence with what you want to say to your neighbor, but won't.
Here is mine: Dear Neighbor, if we don't answer the phone please don't drive down here to see if we are home. We are, we are just ditching you due to your constant neediness.
Here is mine: Dear Neighbor, if we don't answer the phone please don't drive down here to see if we are home. We are, we are just ditching you due to your constant neediness.
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My neighbor across the street has a teacup yorkie that poops a coffee cup of poop in my yard at least 3 mornings a week. I have talked to them about it numerous times and the wife always apologizes and blames the husband for letting it run loose.
I'm so over it. My mission now is to catch the yorkie, take it to Florida and re-home the damned thing.
Dear Neighbor (from last year),
We are sorry about the dog poop in your yard that one time. It was late, dark outside, and there were leaves in your yard. We watched the dogs, we brought flashlights and poop bags, too. But we looked and looked for quite a while, just couldn't find the poop to pick it up.
So sorry!
And though I do feel guilty about the one poop in your yard, I also feel like you deserve a separate "dear neighbor" letter for how loud you all were all the time. Glad you moved! The loud cars, music, and chatter outside all night was irritating.
You say you "love" your dogs yet you keep them jailed in a 4x4 cage or chained to a doghouse 24/7 for years now. That's not love. That's abuse. I would "love" to chain you to a doghouse during the extreme weather conditions and see how you like it. That's no life for a dog. Your kids are out playing yet don't pay any attention to your "beloved" dogs. How sad.
Thank you for moving far, far away and taking your rowdy children with you. I can now begin the expensive task of replacing my privacy fence in the areas where YOUR children insisted on climbing on it, pushing it over and breaking the boards and supports.
Good riddance, you bastages!
P.S. You forgot to pack the pine trees that grew in your gutters because you never cleaned them out. Maybe the next owner can string Christmas lights on them.
We love you. You've lived next door for 17 years and now you're moving. We are devastated at the thought of having to train new neighbors. Please change your mind.
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Thank you for moving far, far away and taking your rowdy children with you. I can now begin the expensive task of replacing my privacy fence in the areas where YOUR children insisted on climbing on it, pushing it over and breaking the boards and supports.
Good riddance, you bastages!
P.S. You forgot to pack the pine trees that grew in your gutters because you never cleaned them out. Maybe the next owner can string Christmas lights on them.
I know they are annoying, but did you *really* have to call the police about the Jehovah's Witnesses in our neighborhood? And then *brag* about it like you were doing your patriotic duty?
Very tolerant. Thanks for keeping us "safe"
Stop playing hippie music.... wait .. you moved and they are knocking down your house to put a McMansion next door. Some giant douche will buy it and say I should do the same thing. DAMN IT. Hippies come back you had good beer.
Please take down the portable basketball hoop that doesn't even have a rim on in your backyard. It's an eye sore. While you're at it please plant a large tree or two to better improve the privacy of our homes.
Regards,
Me
So you decided to move out of you POS house and rent it too some crack head Rednecks. They haven't lived in the 'hood for two weeks and yet there has already been three visits by the police, one of which looked like an episode of Cops. Thanks for being such a douche bag.
Dear Neighbors,
Christmas is over, both of you need to at least turn off the lights, bonus points for taking them down before March.
Yeah, that's right we have two neighbors who think their Christmas lights should still be on 24/7 in February.
My neighbor across the street has a teacup yorkie that poops a coffee cup of poop in my yard at least 3 mornings a week. I have talked to them about it numerous times and the wife always apologizes and blames the husband for letting it run loose.
I'm so over it. My mission now is to catch the yorkie, take it to Florida and re-home the damned thing.
1 - take said poo and place it on the hood of their car.
2 - take said poo and secure it under the door handle of their car
3 - take a poo yourself in the front of their yard.
option 4 is....
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1 - take said poo and place it on the hood of their car.
2 - take said poo and secure it under the door handle of their car
3 - take a poo yourself in the front of their yard.
option 4 is....
Doesn't matter now. They moved to Oregon about 3 months ago.