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Fark My Life

26,668 2,340 February 12, 2009 at 05:35 AM in Humor (2)
http://www.fmylife.com/
Quote :
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired.
Quote :
Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area.
Quote :
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with "Who the hell are you?"
Quote :
Today, I cut myself of a bandaid box, while trying to get a bandaid out for another cut.
Crylol Roll Rofl2 LMAO laugh out loud
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Joined Aug 2003
L10: Grand Master
> bubble2 17,446 Posts
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Drio
06-03-2009 at 09:53 AM.
06-03-2009 at 09:53 AM.
Quote from shhaggy :
Today, I was cleaning my father's study room and wondering why I did not receive my acceptance/rejection letter from a college I really wanted. I found the acceptance letter, on his desk, also approving of a full scholarship. The deadline to confirm was a month ago. FML

That one is rough, how can parents totally screw over their kids like that? I remember being annoyed when my parents opened my acceptance letters, I can't imagine how much I'd flip out if they ever kept one from me.
It is rough. What kind of teenager is forced to clean their father's study which has an acceptance letter while they're wondering where their acceptance letter has been? That's just crazzzzzy!
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Joined Apr 2006
World dominator and rebel
> bubble2 41,453 Posts
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SDRebel
06-10-2009 at 07:10 AM.
06-10-2009 at 07:10 AM.
The mobile fml site hasn't been working for days. FML

Quote from Drio :
It is rough. What kind of teenager is forced to clean their father's study which has an acceptance letter while they're wondering where their acceptance letter has been? That's just crazzzzzy!
that's farking farked up...
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Joined Aug 2003
L10: Grand Master
> bubble2 22,811 Posts
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briang
06-10-2009 at 07:14 AM.
06-10-2009 at 07:14 AM.
worked for me this am Dontknow
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Joined Feb 2008
yay christmas
> bubble2 1,289 Posts
238 Reputation
miscpersonface
06-10-2009 at 07:27 AM.
06-10-2009 at 07:27 AM.
worked for me, too
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Joined Apr 2006
World dominator and rebel
> bubble2 41,453 Posts
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SDRebel
06-11-2009 at 09:52 AM.
06-11-2009 at 09:52 AM.
Quote from briang :
worked for me this am Dontknow
it works now, didn't work for days Frown

This is mean
Quote :
Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was gay. The executor read it out loud. My mom was the only one who knew. FML
and this one is a goner

Quote :
Today, I was eating lunch with my wife. We were having a nice time when a man came up to me. He said, "Hey! Bill how are you?" I wasn't really sure, so being polite I said, "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name." He frowned and walked away. It was my company's Chairman of the Board. FML
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Last edited by SDRebel June 11, 2009 at 09:52 AM.
Joined Mar 2008
doin' what i wanna do
> bubble2 3,441 Posts
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luckykitti
06-12-2009 at 12:30 PM.
06-12-2009 at 12:30 PM.
Quote :
Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first random girl he saw. FML
hahahaha.
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Joined Aug 2007
L6: Expert
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DS7
06-12-2009 at 12:58 PM.
06-12-2009 at 12:58 PM.
Some of these can't be real
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Joined May 2006
Suspected porn star
> bubble2 11,996 Posts
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ForeverDecember
06-12-2009 at 02:09 PM.
06-12-2009 at 02:09 PM.
Quote from DS7 :
Some of these can't be real
still funny though........
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Joined Jun 2006
Go go power ranger!
> bubble2 4,450 Posts
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PHISH88
06-12-2009 at 10:01 PM.
06-12-2009 at 10:01 PM.
Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML


--Ouch!
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Joined Jun 2005
L6: Laser Lotus
> bubble2 21,654 Posts
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shhaggy
06-13-2009 at 07:55 AM.
06-13-2009 at 07:55 AM.
Today, I had sex with this guy i really like for the first time. After, we were laying in bed listening to music. When the song finished he leaned over and said, "You know what you and that song have in common?" I smiled and said, "What?" He replied with, "You just got played, get out of my bed." FML
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Joined Jun 2006
Go go power ranger!
> bubble2 4,450 Posts
401 Reputation
PHISH88
06-13-2009 at 11:47 AM.
06-13-2009 at 11:47 AM.
Quote from shhaggy :
Today, I had sex with this guy i really like for the first time. After, we were laying in bed listening to music. When the song finished he leaned over and said, "You know what you and that song have in common?" I smiled and said, "What?" He replied with, "You just got played, get out of my bed." FML
ahahahha! I'm sorry but that's too funny not to laugh out loud!
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Joined Jun 2006
Go go power ranger!
> bubble2 4,450 Posts
401 Reputation
PHISH88
06-13-2009 at 11:49 AM.
06-13-2009 at 11:49 AM.
Quote :
Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML
hahhaha
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Joined Aug 2006
L8: Grand Teacher
> bubble2 3,085 Posts
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#sevenstinks
06-16-2009 at 06:29 AM.
06-16-2009 at 06:29 AM.
Quote from PHISH88 :
Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML

--Ouch!
LMAO

Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML

vomit vomit vomit vomit
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Joined Feb 2007
L10: Grand Master
> bubble2 7,600 Posts
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ThriftShopperNC
06-19-2009 at 09:06 PM.
06-19-2009 at 09:06 PM.
I just read some of the milder of these posts, to my 10 yr old stepdaughter. She laughed so hard, she almost had breathing problems.

Now she's sleeping peacefully!

YAY Whee for FML!
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Joined Aug 2006
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#sevenstinks
06-25-2009 at 11:23 AM.
06-25-2009 at 11:23 AM.
today, I was getting a pedicure and the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds because they love skin. She then describes for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML

Okay, this is just the grossest thing I have heard of. vomit vomit vomit
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