Joined Jul 2005
Scarydevil Monastery
Forum Thread
RETIRED: XL_Jockey finally got some
May 26, 2009 at
09:41 AM
July 12, 2010, 3:09 pm: System Notice: This thread content has been automatically archived from another thread which reached post limit, and will be preserved for reference and archival purposes. The discussion should continue in the original thread
In order to prepare the yard for the new playset to arrive sometime in the near future I found out that I was expected to clean up all the branches, including the gigantic pile behind the shed.
Since my wife was outside and I was wearing a tanktop, all hot and sweaty, I realized that I needed to take advantage of the situation and prepare my chances for the evening. Instead of using the branch cutters I started breaking these branches with my bear hands. I'm extremely muscular and hairy. I also used my bare hands and broke several dried twigs.
Then I started leaning a few against a tree and dropkicking them, like the badass I am. I even made sounds like they do in the movies, like "herush", and "fwoop", but I avoided "fwap fwap fwap fwap", at least for now, depending on how the night goes.
I had one particularly large branch, at least the size of a rolling pin. I tried a couple times to break it, but it resisted me as if it was married to me and I was trying to get it in bed for 16 months. So I channeled all my frustration and performed a flying spinning roundhouse dropkick, the same one that Dora the Explorer performed on the soccer ball to get the winning goal in the episode when her team was playing against the dinosaurs.
Well this branch decided to exact it's revenge. As I struck it with brutal force, it snapped in 3. Unfortunately for me the third piece richocheted off the tree and struck me in and about the facial area. I guess you can say it gave me a woody facial. I immediately saw myself from the third person, in slo-mo bullet-time like in the Matrix. I attempted to dodge but the branch hit me squarely in the jaw... actually more semi-circularly. The force was such that it cause me to chip a tooth.
I saw my wife jump up and run inside and I realized that my extreme display of manhood must have pushed her over the edge. She was probably upstairs grabbing some lube already.
No, she needed to find her cellphone to call her sister before she stopped laughing.
I'll get my revenge you branch bastards!
In order to prepare the yard for the new playset to arrive sometime in the near future I found out that I was expected to clean up all the branches, including the gigantic pile behind the shed.
Since my wife was outside and I was wearing a tanktop, all hot and sweaty, I realized that I needed to take advantage of the situation and prepare my chances for the evening. Instead of using the branch cutters I started breaking these branches with my bear hands. I'm extremely muscular and hairy. I also used my bare hands and broke several dried twigs.
Then I started leaning a few against a tree and dropkicking them, like the badass I am. I even made sounds like they do in the movies, like "herush", and "fwoop", but I avoided "fwap fwap fwap fwap", at least for now, depending on how the night goes.
I had one particularly large branch, at least the size of a rolling pin. I tried a couple times to break it, but it resisted me as if it was married to me and I was trying to get it in bed for 16 months. So I channeled all my frustration and performed a flying spinning roundhouse dropkick, the same one that Dora the Explorer performed on the soccer ball to get the winning goal in the episode when her team was playing against the dinosaurs.
Well this branch decided to exact it's revenge. As I struck it with brutal force, it snapped in 3. Unfortunately for me the third piece richocheted off the tree and struck me in and about the facial area. I guess you can say it gave me a woody facial. I immediately saw myself from the third person, in slo-mo bullet-time like in the Matrix. I attempted to dodge but the branch hit me squarely in the jaw... actually more semi-circularly. The force was such that it cause me to chip a tooth.
I saw my wife jump up and run inside and I realized that my extreme display of manhood must have pushed her over the edge. She was probably upstairs grabbing some lube already.
No, she needed to find her cellphone to call her sister before she stopped laughing.
I'll get my revenge you branch bastards!
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half?
In which case, we would have all been duped.
Just sayin........
In which case, we would have all been duped.
Just sayin........
And I have no reason to lie about this stuff, but I understand the possibility of this being a ruse. If asking for cleavage pics is cheating, then you have all the evidence you need!
Eventually we started talking again and I told her I was tired of working so hard and getting nothing in return, and she said she felt the same way. She said every time she gets off the phone with me she assumes I'm cheating on her. I just don't get it. I mentioned that if I was getting some on the side, then why would I be trying so hard to get it from her?
I think deep down she just doesn't trust me. I give her no reason not to trust me. She can reach me any time on my cell, she knows where I am at all times and I've never had any other evidence against me. For the record, I'm not cheating on her.
I told her if she loves me she has to show me, she has to prove it. Obviously I don't excel in these types of conversations.
Why can't she just blow me and get past all this crap?
I know that I'm not bringing anything new to the table but, she really, really, really needs professional help.
Your wife is sick and you cannot help her that much, it is time for you to face it. Take her to therapy, talk to her, trick her into it, I dunno just do it.
Of course you have your own issues, but this time the ball is on her courtside, and it will be up to her to hit it back or let it go. Does she really loves you? Or she just needs you as a provider? Have you asked her why is she still with you? "Because of the kids" is BS
My ex-gf had the same trouble trusting me, from time to time she asked if I was cheating on her, just because of her insecurities. Even if I wanted (which I didn't) to cheat on her, I did not have the time to do so because we were together all the time and even there she thought I was cheating!
Start thinking about yourself, and don't feel bad if she cries. You know that what you're doing is right, and if you continue giving up you'll sooner or later explode.
And I have no reason to lie about this stuff, but I understand the possibility of this being a ruse. If asking for cleavage pics is cheating, then you have all the evidence you need!
And people often post "woe is me" stories on community forums to cover their own arse for when they get caught. I knew a girl that posted on a political forum about an abusive husband all the time. Of course everyone sided with her. After about 10 months of the drama, it was discovered that she was having an affair ... with a man she met on the forum.
It all unraveled after one of the mods started reading their pm's to each other.
I'm not a cheater. I married my wife for a reason. I had children for a reason. I've gone 22 months without sex and stand by her for a reason. Sometimes it isn't easy, but my love for her is greater than any of our problems.
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I'm not a cheater. I married my wife for a reason. I had children for a reason. I've gone 22 months without sex and stand by her for a reason. Sometimes it isn't easy, but my love for her is greater than any of our problems.
I'm just teasing you.
I hope you and your wife figure it out someday.
I think that some sort of counseling or therapy would be good, either together or separately. You seem to be managing okay, but it does bother you. You might get more sound advice from a professional, and it might send a message to your wife about how much you're hurting in this relationship (it's obviously not all about the sex).
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