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Forum Thread

Is my kid crazy?

2,786 1,084 August 3, 2010 at 05:04 PM in Chat
I am at the end of my rope with my 4.5 year old's screaming, kicking, hitting temper tantrums. She's an only child and is so sweet most of the time but when she gets really mad, she's awful. Like head spinning, pea soup awful. I know that it is mostly (if not all) our fault and we need to change out behaviors, too. We aren't consistent and have been too "go with the flow." I try to reason with her but it clearly isn't working. Time out use to work somewhat when she was little but she's old enough to realize that I can't keep her there unless I were to physically force her. It has become a power struggle and I can tell she is doing things to push my buttons.

Is this normal for her age? Any suggestions for books? Does she need therapy? I think I do....
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Joined Jul 2006
CDI gave me free netflix!
> bubble2 51,186 Posts
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dzap
08-03-2010 at 09:14 PM.
08-03-2010 at 09:14 PM.
Quote from iconian :
If i pulled that, my ass would be beat til it was red. Sometimes I hate American laws. Yes, they have their places to protect the kids, belting a kid is well worth it, I know it worked on me!
Where are you from originally?
[Sarah Palin]
Or are you generally just being unpatriotic, saying you hate American laws?
[/Sarah Palin]
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Joined Feb 2006
R U an ultracrepidarian?
> bubble2 76,456 Posts
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iconian | Staff
08-03-2010 at 09:18 PM.
08-03-2010 at 09:18 PM.
Quote from dzap :
Where are you from originally?
[Sarah Palin]
Or are you generally just being unpatriotic, saying you hate American laws?
[/Sarah Palin]
Sarah, get back in the kitchen and make me a sammitch, NOW WOMAN!

I am from a country, kinda like ancient Roman Empire, that does not exist anymore
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Joined Jan 2010
Cajun Trollop
> bubble2 7,098 Posts
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Ms.arteest
08-03-2010 at 09:44 PM.
08-03-2010 at 09:44 PM.
My response to a tantrum has always been to ignore the it if at home and to leave if in a public place. I would always tell my child (or anyone else's child that was in my care) that, while it's okay to be upset, a fit was unacceptable behavior. Then I walked away. I found it to be really helpful to go engage in an activity that the child really enjoyed (playing a game, cooking, watching TV, etc.) and pretended that I didn't see the tantrum. I have always found that the vast majority of kids will soon realize that the behavior was getting them nowhere fast. Usually, within a few minutes, the scene was over and the kid's focus was redirected. If this didn't work, then we went step by step through a fixed set of responses (time-out, nap, loss of privileges...) I even went so far as to post a set of consequences that my kid helped me decide upon. She usually came up with far more strict rules than I did. As a great aunt now, this still works for me. My great niece responds better to me than most anyone else, because she knows that I'm lots of fun, but I take no crap from a kid!Wink She always asks to come to my house and she rarely ever acts up.

Good luck...I hope you find a way to overcome the tantrums. It sure makes life more enjoyable for you and your child!
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Joined Jan 2008
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> bubble2 2,911 Posts
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RefCache
08-03-2010 at 09:52 PM.
08-03-2010 at 09:52 PM.
Quote from iconian :
If i pulled that, my ass would be beat til it was red. Sometimes I hate American laws. Yes, they have their places to protect the kids, belting a kid is well worth it, I know it worked on me!
Does rayzac still beat you on occasion? Do you call him Mommy when he does?
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iconian | Staff
08-03-2010 at 09:55 PM.
08-03-2010 at 09:55 PM.
Quote from RefCache :
Does rayzac still beat you on occasion? Do you call him Mommy when he does?
if you mean, does he spank me? yes he does and I ask for seconds.
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Joined Jan 2008
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> bubble2 2,911 Posts
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RefCache
08-03-2010 at 09:58 PM.
08-03-2010 at 09:58 PM.
Quote from iconian :
if you mean, does he spank me? yes he does and I ask for seconds.
That's great! I think that sort of tough love is part of every healthy relationship.
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Joined Jul 2010
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larabrown
08-04-2010 at 02:11 AM.
08-04-2010 at 02:11 AM.
Be patient.
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Joined Feb 2009
Tryin to come originale
> bubble2 5,976 Posts
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tresanus
08-04-2010 at 06:36 AM.
08-04-2010 at 06:36 AM.
you must establish dominance over the child


dzap beat me to it, guess i should read threads or something first..nah
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Last edited by tresanus August 4, 2010 at 07:36 AM.
Joined Feb 2010
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> bubble2 4,199 Posts
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idkist
08-04-2010 at 06:45 AM.
08-04-2010 at 06:45 AM.
Child size Valium imo...
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Joined Oct 2006
Post-It Princess
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metoday
08-04-2010 at 07:32 AM.
08-04-2010 at 07:32 AM.
Quote from .teri. :
I disagree. I don't think throwing major temper tantrums in public is normal for a 4.5 year old.
I think it's completely normal when the child is spoiled (gets what she wants when she throws a fit) and has no consistent form of discipline. If she gets her way every time she throws a fit, why wouldn't she continue doing what works for her?
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idkist
08-04-2010 at 07:35 AM.
08-04-2010 at 07:35 AM.
Quote from metoday :
I think it's completely normal when the child is spoiled (gets what she wants when she throws a fit) and has no consistent form of discipline. If she gets her way every time she throws a fit, why wouldn't she continue doing what works for her?
Isn't that how all women work?

*snap*

Hide
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Joined Sep 2006
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Fallacy
08-04-2010 at 07:46 AM.
08-04-2010 at 07:46 AM.
There are some crazy people in here...
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Joined Oct 2006
Post-It Princess
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metoday
08-04-2010 at 07:59 AM.
08-04-2010 at 07:59 AM.
Quote from idkist :
Isn't that how all women work?

*snap*

Hide
Yes, when they don't have a husband to keep them in line.




Harhar
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Joined Feb 2010
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beanqueen
08-04-2010 at 08:02 AM.
08-04-2010 at 08:02 AM.
The advice I've read so far about not giving into tantrums, ignore them when they throw them and not negotiating are all good things. It's ok to explain once to a child why they can't do something but after that it's because you said so. Also the kid isn't gonna pick up everything you explain to them but over the years it will sink in...same reason you teach kids how and why things work, even if they don't really get it then, they will get it later in life when it actually matters.

I think you already know what you have to do, just do it. If you get stressed you can always come here for encouragement. Sit down with your husband and discuss as many possible situations that could arise and your reaction to them...all the way to you being about to give up on what you decided to do and what the spouse can do to encourage and support you in finishing the goal.

You have to create a unified front of whatever you say goes. She will probably hate you for a while because it's been so nice up until now...but you're job is to raise a good human being not be her friend. You can do it! Smilie
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Fallacy
08-04-2010 at 08:03 AM.
08-04-2010 at 08:03 AM.
Quote from beanqueen :
The advice I've read so far about not giving into tantrums, ignore them when they throw them and not negotiating are all good things. It's ok to explain once to a child why they can't do something but after that it's because you said so. Also the kid isn't gonna pick up everything you explain to them but over the years it will sink in...same reason you teach kids how and why things work, even if they don't really get it then, they will get it later in life when it actually matters.

I think you already know what you have to do, just do it. If you get stressed you can always come here for encouragement. Sit down with your husband and discuss as many possible situations that could arise and your reaction to them...all the way to you being about to give up on what you decided to do and what the spouse can do to encourage and support you in finishing the goal.

You have to create a unified front of whatever you say goes. She will probably hate you for a while because it's been so nice up until now...but you're job is to raise a good human being not be her friend. You can do it! Smilie
Finally someone sane
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