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Forum Thread

How long should you be in a relationship before popping the ?

4,199 164 October 22, 2010 at 07:16 AM in Chat
Other thread about how did you meet and how did they propose made me think of this since I saw a varying of lengths that people were together before the ? came...

What are peoples opinions?

Edit: Thanks brisar for updating the spelling
Well how long do you think?
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Joined Oct 2004
Professor Fishslapper!
> bubble2 12,104 Posts
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dalokgawd
10-22-2010 at 08:25 AM.
10-22-2010 at 08:25 AM.
Quote from notintended :
well yes there is a HUGE difference
but it's understandable to say "well after (my answer here would be 3ish) x years, I just can't wait around anymore"

and if you live with them, it changes the answer too....
I also can see from the fact that you said "3-ish" that it would be a rule of thumb for you and not a hard and fast rule. It's not like on day 1096, regardless of the situation you would be like "ok, there's no rung on my finger so I'm outta here!"
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Joined Apr 2009
official Cupcake keeper
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notintended
10-22-2010 at 08:29 AM.
10-22-2010 at 08:29 AM.
Quote from dalokgawd :
I also can see from the fact that you said "3-ish" that it would be a rule of thumb for you and not a hard and fast rule. It's not like on day 1096, regardless of the situation you would be like "ok, there's no rung on my finger so I'm outta here!"
Yeah, because 3 years is a long time to invest into something to just walk away. 3rd year is when you (well I) would start getting pushy and looking for answers as to why it hasn't happened yet, if I wasn't getting the answers I wanted then it would be time to start thinking about just letting go
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Joined Apr 2005
💜Love Saving Money💜
> bubble2 63,298 Posts
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brisar
10-22-2010 at 08:31 AM.
10-22-2010 at 08:31 AM.
Quote from idkist :
Edit: can some mod correct the spelling of by to buy in the poll? thx ... unless I can and I just don't see where to do it.... /noob
fixed
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Joined Aug 2010
Permanently Banned
> bubble2 3,549 Posts
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coulditbeSatan
10-22-2010 at 08:36 AM.
10-22-2010 at 08:36 AM.
Before popping what? The

[minishorts.net] ???
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Joined Jul 2008
L5: Journeyman
> bubble2 553 Posts
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DAAB
10-22-2010 at 08:38 AM.
10-22-2010 at 08:38 AM.
Quote from Phrozt :
Apparently my gf has done quite a bit of pooping and masturbating at my house.
hug Sorry to hear that you can't satisfy her yourself!
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Joined Feb 2010
L6: Expert
> bubble2 1,002 Posts
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beanqueen
10-22-2010 at 08:41 AM.
10-22-2010 at 08:41 AM.
Quote from MovieMogul :
hug Sorry to hear that you can't satisfy her yourself!
He can and he does...but people masturbate even if they're getting regular sex...it's healthy.

Edit: I really am just a "the time is right" kinda person, if I feel the time is right I won't wait for a proposal...I'll ask myself, but that should be after we've talked about it a bunch and are really ready for it and even then I'd want a kinda long engagement....
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Joined Jul 2005
Scarydevil Monastery
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veritablequandary
10-22-2010 at 08:45 AM.
10-22-2010 at 08:45 AM.
Quote from Phrozt :
Apparently my gf has done quite a bit of pooping and masturbating at my house.
Not at the same time I hope? Yuk
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Joined Feb 2010
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beanqueen
10-22-2010 at 08:51 AM.
10-22-2010 at 08:51 AM.
Quote from veritableqndry :
Not at the same time I hope? Yuk
Hell no!!! I'm not disgusting!!!
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Joined Jul 2007
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Claudia365
10-22-2010 at 08:53 AM.
10-22-2010 at 08:53 AM.
I dated my ex for 9 yrs and we were just getting comfy with the idea of getting married. My new bf of 2 month, I've known him for 20 yrs (childhood friend) and he's discussed getting married but it's too damn early for me...No
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Joined Jan 2008
the Drunken Snowman
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Phrozt
10-22-2010 at 09:11 AM.
10-22-2010 at 09:11 AM.
Quote from beanqueen :
Hell no!!! I'm not disgusting!!!
I've tried it Smilie.
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Joined Feb 2010
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beanqueen
10-22-2010 at 09:12 AM.
10-22-2010 at 09:12 AM.
Quote from Phrozt :
I've tried it Smilie.
I know you have Stick Out Tongue

You're weird hug
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Joined Jan 2007
The Mistress of All Evil!
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Maleficent
10-22-2010 at 09:13 AM.
10-22-2010 at 09:13 AM.
Quote from dalokgawd :
No offense, but don't you think it's a little restrictive to put a mandated time period on that sort of thing? Especially for only one year. That's a REALLY short period of time to know someone before deciding to commit to them for the rest of your life. Shouldn't every situation be decided based on the specific circumstances? What if you're with a guy who would propose given enough time to feel comfortable but you bail out of the relationship after a year because of your artificial time limit?
Iagree

It depends on SO many different factors, that there's really no "one size fits all" length of time.

It depends on the age and maturity of the people in the relationship, their personal thoughts and views, what they want, how they feel about it, etc.

DH and I were dating for a little over two years before we got engaged, and we had talked about it extensively before then. A year after that is when we got married.

The only thing we were firm on though, is that we waited to live together until after we were married.


And I will say however, that anything before a year is probably too soon. That's just... not enough time to really get to know someone, I don't think.
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Joined Feb 2006
Schizophrenic Psycho
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Melmo
10-22-2010 at 09:16 AM.
10-22-2010 at 09:16 AM.
we knew right away we would get married. There was no question about it. We married 9 months after we met, and I was 6 months pregnantSmilie
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Joined Jan 2006
On the Nasty list
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redjen910
10-22-2010 at 09:16 AM.
10-22-2010 at 09:16 AM.
Quote from Titansfan1234 :
This is crazy talk. What is the rush? I would wait until I have lived with them for a couple of years and dated a few years prior to that. Will you seriously dump your bf if it turns out you have dated for 13 months?EEK!
At 13 months we will be having a "serious discussion" if not before then. The "rush"? I will soon be 38 years old. I've already had one failed 5 year relationship and don't have another 5 years to invest in someone who isn't ready for commitment.

Do you feel any better knowing that I met my BF almost 8 years ago and that we live together?

Quote from dalokgawd :
No offense, but don't you think it's a little restrictive to put a mandated time period on that sort of thing? Especially for only one year. That's a REALLY short period of time to know someone before deciding to commit to them for the rest of your life. Shouldn't every situation be decided based on the specific circumstances? What if you're with a guy who would propose given enough time to feel comfortable but you bail out of the relationship after a year because of your artificial time limit?
See above. We have a few friends who have been couples for 10 years plus and still aren't married. That's not going to be me.

Quote from notintended :
it's reasons like this that Jen put a time limit on it Coverlaugh
Yep. If you're not in love with me in a year and you're not sure then I'm probably not the one.

I think a lot of you have a different perspective because you're a lot younger. Someone mentioned that they started dating their SO in high school. If I was still with the guy I dated in high school this would be our 23rd year. laugh out loud
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veritablequandary
10-22-2010 at 09:18 AM.
10-22-2010 at 09:18 AM.
redjen910 if you & I are both still unmarried when we're 42 then will you marry me?
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