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Ok so I'll ask....is there anything wrong with me dating a married woman?

3,549 129 November 23, 2010 at 03:06 PM in Question
It's not me cheating so is there anything wrong with it? A couple of people have told me it's wrong and made it sound like I am evil but they can't really tell me why with anything other than emotional reactions. So what's up?

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Joined Jan 2007
The Mistress of All Evil!
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Maleficent
11-23-2010 at 04:22 PM.
11-23-2010 at 04:22 PM.
Quote from coulditbeSatan :
Still no one can tell me how and why I am wrong other than emotional reactions.
WTF are you talking about? Sleeping with someone who is married, and the other spouse does not know and approve is wrong.

You seriously don't get that? laugh out loud

If you end up running over someone in a car, would we have to explain to you why vehicular homicide is wrong, too? LMAO


Quote :
I am giving her what she needs and wants. What is wrong with that? She isn't getting it from home so why should she have to live without good things in her life?
Because she's being dishonest to her husband, and you're doing it with her. You're withholding information the husband SHOULD have, and you're interfering in a marriage (and regardless of the status of the marriage, you have no right to do so).

Quote :
Oh and yes it is like totally 'outlandish' and 'crazy.' I'm not hurting anyone and I am making her happy.
You have no idea if you're legitimately making her happy. You ARE hurting someone - her husband. I know you're young and single, so it's probably hard for you to understand, but when you're married, you usually don't want your spouse screwing other people! laugh out loud

Quote :
Come on....why doesn't she have the right to have some happiness?
She does - she just needs to be honest. She probably hasn't even told her husband she's unhappy in the marriage.

This is what cheaters do - they're cowards. Instead of confronting their spouse, try to work something out, they go outside of the marriage and fool around. Leaving everything unresolved, and EVERYBODY gets hurt. Her included. It's a bad situation all around, and it'll end badly. It always does.





I seriously cannot believe there are people out there as delusional as you are. Talk about knee-jerk emotional reactions, you're trying to justify it because you like her. Roll Eyes (Sarcastic)
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Joined Jul 2004
Magically Delicious
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SlicKitty
11-23-2010 at 04:23 PM.
11-23-2010 at 04:23 PM.
Quote from coulditbeSatan :
Still no one can tell me how and why I am wrong other than emotional reactions. I am giving her what she needs and wants. What is wrong with that? She isn't getting it from home so why should she have to live without good things in her life?

Oh and yes it is like totally 'outlandish' and 'crazy.' I'm not hurting anyone and I am making her happy.


Come on....why doesn't she have the right to have some happiness?

Um...HULLO?

Do I have to retype all of that? Most of my reasons weren't emotional and of course you're hurting someone. Her husband will be hurt and if you think he won't ever find out, I think you're mistaken. Whether he finds out now, or she tells him later to intentionally hurt him in court, or down the road when they have a fight, he will find out.


You're going to do what you're going to do, but why does it have to be that particular one? Can't you find anyone else who is hot and willing and not married?
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Joined Jan 2007
The Mistress of All Evil!
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Maleficent
11-23-2010 at 04:25 PM.
11-23-2010 at 04:25 PM.
Quote from z2g :
OP,
I told you so. In most cases, ppl always frown upon the lover/mistress. So, that's all you're going to get here......ppl griping about how you're the jerk. Forget the fact that you're not the one who's married. But, that's the society we live in!
I think just about all of us here are "frowning upon" the woman cheating on her husband. But she's not here at the moment, the guy she's cheating with is.

He wanted to know, he got an answer. Not the answer he wanted obviously, but he didn't REALLY want to find out if it was wrong or not. He just wanted SOMEONE to tell him it was okay so he'd feel like less of a dirtbag when he goes to bed at night. Smilie
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Joined Jun 2006
Dark Lord of the Culdesac
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Jex
11-23-2010 at 04:26 PM.
11-23-2010 at 04:26 PM.
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Joined Mar 2006
L6: Expert
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covfefe
11-23-2010 at 04:26 PM.
11-23-2010 at 04:26 PM.
The fact that she is doing it now doesn't worry that she would cheat on you in the future? She is showing her true colors.
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Joined Oct 2003
L7: Teacher
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crazygrow
11-23-2010 at 04:26 PM.
11-23-2010 at 04:26 PM.
Having sex with a chick who is mostly likely sleeping with other guys is disturbing. Find a less occupied hole.

Likely the issue here is not an issue with other single girls, but that you can only get some from a girl who is desperate and emotionally vulnerable. Sad to be you. Not much of a score.
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Joined Jan 2007
The Mistress of All Evil!
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Maleficent
11-23-2010 at 04:27 PM.
11-23-2010 at 04:27 PM.
Quote from crazygrow :
Having sex with a chick who is mostly likely sleeping with other guys is disturbing. Find a less occupied hole.

Likely the issue here is not an issue with other single girls, but that you can only get some from a girl who is desperate and emotionally vulnerable. Sad to be you. Not much of a score.
Wow. That was awesome. laugh out loud
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Joined Jul 2005
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z2g
11-23-2010 at 04:33 PM.
11-23-2010 at 04:33 PM.
Quote from Maleficent :
I think just about all of us here are "frowning upon" the woman cheating on her husband. But she's not here at the moment, the guy she's cheating with is.

He wanted to know, he got an answer. Not the answer he wanted obviously, but he didn't REALLY want to find out if it was wrong or not. He just wanted SOMEONE to tell him it was okay so he'd feel like less of a dirtbag when he goes to bed at night. Smilie
I wouldn't call him a "dirtbag". I don't know about ppl you know in your lifetime. But, for me, I know quite a few guys who have been in the same scenario at one point in their life. Usually when they were very young.....like college. Myself included.

Of course, it's wrong. But, I don't think you can always just blame the guy and consider him a jerk or dirtbag. You really can't help who you fall for....especially when you're young.

So, I consider it a learning experience for those who have encountered that situation. Of course, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. But, I don't frown upon those who find themselves as "the lover".
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Joined Jan 2004
Here's to the future
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Iaaaiws
11-23-2010 at 04:35 PM.
11-23-2010 at 04:35 PM.
Quote from crazygrow :
Likely the issue here is not an issue with other single girls, but that you can only get some from a girl who is desperate and emotionally vulnerable. Sad to be you. Not much of a score.

High Five

I just arrived but this thread is already over.
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Joined Aug 2010
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Original Poster
coulditbeSatan
11-23-2010 at 04:37 PM.
11-23-2010 at 04:37 PM.
Quote from SlicKitty :
He just did. Teehee


Okay, but if you really want opinions, I say - Yes, it's wrong to date a married woman, for a few reasons:

1. There are tons of hot women who are not married, so there isn't a need to date women whose husbands do not know they are screwing around. It's selfish. He has the right to know with whom he is sleeping, by default.

Sure there are tons that aren't married. And I'm not attracted to them just because they aren't married. It's also not my fault or responsibility that her husband doesn't know.

2. Just because she tells you they are estranged does not make it so.

True but I think she is telling me the truth there.

3. If she's sleeping with you, she could easily be sleeping with other people, including her husband. You could bring home something vicious. Gross.

She isn't sleeping with anyone else including her husband. She isn't attracted to him physically because he has gained a lot of weight and doesn't take care of himself. Plus the kind of guy he is.

4. If they're so estranged, why can't she just tell him she's sleeping with you?

There are legitimate factors involved why she doesn't just divorce him. Given that it is not in her interest to tell him.


5. You're asking for your wife (when/if you get one) to sleep around on you.

Huh No I'm not.

6. When she gets pregnant and you get hauled into court, will there be anything wrong with that?

Not an issue. She can't have children. They have not adopted kids either.

7. If he sues you for alienation of affection, will there be anything wrong with that?

That isn't a concern because courts don't allow that claim anymore. (from what I understand because a buddy brought it up before)


I wouldn't trust her. She's sleeping around on her husband. I wouldn't believe a word she says. I'd find one that's free and clear of all obligations and all potential for murder. nod

I have looked and dated a lot. It just happens that she is married but we make a great couple. As for trust....yeah I know she is a woman that cheats on her husband so she isn't clear as driven snow.

Quote from BikerEric :
unless she is married to YOU, it's wrong!
end of story
Wrong for her but not for me.

Quote from z2g :
OP,
I told you so. In most cases, ppl always frown upon the lover/mistress. So, that's all you're going to get here......ppl griping about how you're the jerk. Forget the fact that you're not the one who's married. But, that's the society we live in!
Yeah I kinda figured I would have to shovel some sh!t to find the pony.
Reply
Joined Jan 2004
Here's to the future
> bubble2 25,141 Posts
707 Reputation
Iaaaiws
11-23-2010 at 04:37 PM.
11-23-2010 at 04:37 PM.
Quote from z2g :
I wouldn't call him a "dirtbag". I don't know about ppl you know in your lifetime. But, for me, I know quite a few guys who have been in the same scenario at one point in their life. Usually when they were very young.....like college. Myself included.

Of course, it's wrong. But, I don't think you can always just blame the guy and consider him a jerk or dirtbag. You really can't help who you fall for....especially when you're young.

So, I consider it a learning experience for those who have encountered that situation. Of course, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. But, I don't frown upon those who find themselves as "the lover".
Nah, let's just go with dirtbag.

If we are going to waste time rationalizing improper behavior I'm sure we can find a lot of that which is done with good intentions.
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Joined Jun 2006
Dark Lord of the Culdesac
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Jex
11-23-2010 at 04:39 PM.
11-23-2010 at 04:39 PM.
Quote from coulditbeSatan :
Wrong for her but not for me.

Yeah I kinda figured I would have to shovel some sh!t to find the pony.
She's still sleeping with her husband. Word of advice don't kiss her on the lips. EEK!
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Joined Jan 2007
The Mistress of All Evil!
> bubble2 22,510 Posts
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Maleficent
11-23-2010 at 04:41 PM.
11-23-2010 at 04:41 PM.
Quote from z2g :
I wouldn't call him a "dirtbag". I don't know about ppl you know in your lifetime. But, for me, I know quite a few guys who have been in the same scenario at one point in their life. Usually when they were very young.....like college. Myself included.

Of course, it's wrong. But, I don't think you can always just blame the guy and consider him a jerk or dirtbag. You really can't help who you fall for....especially when you're young.

So, I consider it a learning experience for those who have encountered that situation. Of course, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. But, I don't frown upon those who find themselves as "the lover".
Thank you for admitting it!


And no, I haven't known any person that has fooled around with someone that is married.

You may not be able to control who you fall for, but you CAN control what you do about it. Just because you fall for someone doesn't mean you need act on it and screw around with them.

Being young, being in college, falling for someone, those are cop-outs, and lame excuses. You know it's wrong, you admitted it.

But you and OP still did it anyway. You were the "other" guy. There's no other way to spin that. And of course you don't frown upon him, you are him!

IMO, I think it makes you more of a dirtbag that you know it's wrong, but you do it anyway. OP clearly knows it, too.

And we're not just blaming the other guy - we're blaming the woman, too. They're both at fault here.
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Joined Jan 2007
The Mistress of All Evil!
> bubble2 22,510 Posts
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Maleficent
11-23-2010 at 04:44 PM.
11-23-2010 at 04:44 PM.
Quote from Iaaaiws :
High Five

I just arrived but this thread is already over.
laugh out loud

Quote from coulditbeSatan :
Wrong for her but not for me.
Facepalm



Quote from Iaaaiws :
Nah, let's just go with dirtbag.

If we are going to waste time rationalizing improper behavior I'm sure we can find a lot of that which is done with good intentions.
Iagree
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Joined Jan 2004
Here's to the future
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Iaaaiws
11-23-2010 at 04:46 PM.
11-23-2010 at 04:46 PM.
I don't understand why the OP or anyone would date a woman who is cheating on her husband. She obviously isn't marriage material since she is okay with cheating. And if you end up together she won't have a problem cheating on you and since you already approve of the behavior she won't even have to feel guilty about it. If you are okay living with someone the rest of your life wondering if they are cheating on you then you are a little strange at best.

Now if you just said you were looking to get a little and weren't interested in a relationship with her then at least you could rationalize it off as being part of your selfish adolescent mentality.
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