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Ok so I'll ask....is there anything wrong with me dating a married woman?
November 23, 2010 at
03:06 PM
in
Question
It's not me cheating so is there anything wrong with it? A couple of people have told me it's wrong and made it sound like I am evil but they can't really tell me why with anything other than emotional reactions. So what's up?
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You seriously don't get that?
If you end up running over someone in a car, would we have to explain to you why vehicular homicide is wrong, too?
This is what cheaters do - they're cowards. Instead of confronting their spouse, try to work something out, they go outside of the marriage and fool around. Leaving everything unresolved, and EVERYBODY gets hurt. Her included. It's a bad situation all around, and it'll end badly. It always does.
I seriously cannot believe there are people out there as delusional as you are. Talk about knee-jerk emotional reactions, you're trying to justify it because you like her.
Oh and yes it is like totally 'outlandish' and 'crazy.' I'm not hurting anyone and I am making her happy.
Come on....why doesn't she have the right to have some happiness?
Um...HULLO?
Do I have to retype all of that? Most of my reasons weren't emotional and of course you're hurting someone. Her husband will be hurt and if you think he won't ever find out, I think you're mistaken. Whether he finds out now, or she tells him later to intentionally hurt him in court, or down the road when they have a fight, he will find out.
You're going to do what you're going to do, but why does it have to be that particular one? Can't you find anyone else who is hot and willing and not married?
I told you so. In most cases, ppl always frown upon the lover/mistress. So, that's all you're going to get here......ppl griping about how you're the jerk. Forget the fact that you're not the one who's married. But, that's the society we live in!
He wanted to know, he got an answer. Not the answer he wanted obviously, but he didn't REALLY want to find out if it was wrong or not. He just wanted SOMEONE to tell him it was okay so he'd feel like less of a dirtbag when he goes to bed at night.
Likely the issue here is not an issue with other single girls, but that you can only get some from a girl who is desperate and emotionally vulnerable. Sad to be you. Not much of a score.
Likely the issue here is not an issue with other single girls, but that you can only get some from a girl who is desperate and emotionally vulnerable. Sad to be you. Not much of a score.
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He wanted to know, he got an answer. Not the answer he wanted obviously, but he didn't REALLY want to find out if it was wrong or not. He just wanted SOMEONE to tell him it was okay so he'd feel like less of a dirtbag when he goes to bed at night.
Of course, it's wrong. But, I don't think you can always just blame the guy and consider him a jerk or dirtbag. You really can't help who you fall for....especially when you're young.
So, I consider it a learning experience for those who have encountered that situation. Of course, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. But, I don't frown upon those who find themselves as "the lover".
I just arrived but this thread is already over.
Okay, but if you really want opinions, I say - Yes, it's wrong to date a married woman, for a few reasons:
1. There are tons of hot women who are not married, so there isn't a need to date women whose husbands do not know they are screwing around. It's selfish. He has the right to know with whom he is sleeping, by default.
Sure there are tons that aren't married. And I'm not attracted to them just because they aren't married. It's also not my fault or responsibility that her husband doesn't know.
2. Just because she tells you they are estranged does not make it so.
True but I think she is telling me the truth there.
3. If she's sleeping with you, she could easily be sleeping with other people, including her husband. You could bring home something vicious. Gross.
She isn't sleeping with anyone else including her husband. She isn't attracted to him physically because he has gained a lot of weight and doesn't take care of himself. Plus the kind of guy he is.
4. If they're so estranged, why can't she just tell him she's sleeping with you?
There are legitimate factors involved why she doesn't just divorce him. Given that it is not in her interest to tell him.
5. You're asking for your wife (when/if you get one) to sleep around on you.
6. When she gets pregnant and you get hauled into court, will there be anything wrong with that?
Not an issue. She can't have children. They have not adopted kids either.
7. If he sues you for alienation of affection, will there be anything wrong with that?
That isn't a concern because courts don't allow that claim anymore. (from what I understand because a buddy brought it up before)
I wouldn't trust her. She's sleeping around on her husband. I wouldn't believe a word she says. I'd find one that's free and clear of all obligations and all potential for murder.
I have looked and dated a lot. It just happens that she is married but we make a great couple. As for trust....yeah I know she is a woman that cheats on her husband so she isn't clear as driven snow.
end of story
I told you so. In most cases, ppl always frown upon the lover/mistress. So, that's all you're going to get here......ppl griping about how you're the jerk. Forget the fact that you're not the one who's married. But, that's the society we live in!
Of course, it's wrong. But, I don't think you can always just blame the guy and consider him a jerk or dirtbag. You really can't help who you fall for....especially when you're young.
So, I consider it a learning experience for those who have encountered that situation. Of course, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. But, I don't frown upon those who find themselves as "the lover".
If we are going to waste time rationalizing improper behavior I'm sure we can find a lot of that which is done with good intentions.
Yeah I kinda figured I would have to shovel some sh!t to find the pony.
Of course, it's wrong. But, I don't think you can always just blame the guy and consider him a jerk or dirtbag. You really can't help who you fall for....especially when you're young.
So, I consider it a learning experience for those who have encountered that situation. Of course, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. But, I don't frown upon those who find themselves as "the lover".
And no, I haven't known any person that has fooled around with someone that is married.
You may not be able to control who you fall for, but you CAN control what you do about it. Just because you fall for someone doesn't mean you need act on it and screw around with them.
Being young, being in college, falling for someone, those are cop-outs, and lame excuses. You know it's wrong, you admitted it.
But you and OP still did it anyway. You were the "other" guy. There's no other way to spin that. And of course you don't frown upon him, you are him!
IMO, I think it makes you more of a dirtbag that you know it's wrong, but you do it anyway. OP clearly knows it, too.
And we're not just blaming the other guy - we're blaming the woman, too. They're both at fault here.
I just arrived but this thread is already over.
If we are going to waste time rationalizing improper behavior I'm sure we can find a lot of that which is done with good intentions.
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Now if you just said you were looking to get a little and weren't interested in a relationship with her then at least you could rationalize it off as being part of your selfish adolescent mentality.