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Forum Thread

Can't seem to get him to take his junk out and go somewhere else...

13,595 4,697 March 1, 2011 at 11:08 PM in Travel & Vacations
Hey peoples wave Miss you guys hug

Okayyy, so I have a situation I have somehow gotten myself into. Go figure Stick Out Tongue

A girl friend of mine was letting her friend live with her, kind of a roommate sort-of deal. Over the time she had him living with her and hanging out with her, he became kind of a mutual friend and I felt bad for the way she'd treat him, because well, I dunno how to put it besides the fact that he's rather umm "socially awkward." He's the kind of guy that doesn't make friends easily and he's not quite as mature as he may should be at his age (which is same age as my friend and I,) but he is a good guy at heart and I felt she was taking major advantage of him anyway, because he was pretty much her slave. He was head over heels for her; she just used him for money, to clean her house, etc... I felt bad for him but figured it wasn't really my business.

Anyway, cut to about 2.5 weeks ago. I'm out of town while a different girl friend of mine is house-sitting for me and staying over at my place. I get a call around 4am one morning, and the guy friend that was living with my other friend is crying his eyes out saying he has no where to go, that my friend kicked him out, it's freezing cold and in his car and doesn't know what to do. Sigh. I'm half asleep and I felt bad since he was crying, so I reluctantly say, "okay dude, I guess you can crash at my place a couple days since I'm gone anyway and hopefully you can get something figured out soon. My friend is there, she'll let you in, just get out of the cold and try to figure something out."

Cue to now. He's still here :-/ I've hinted to him several times that he needs to go, and even told him in the beginning that he couldn't stay too long because I could actually get in trouble for lease violation or something since we aren't supposed to have people move in unless we notify the apt manager, etc. He says he's looking, but the thing is, he has no money really to even get a place. He's wasted what money he did have. As I said, he's not as mature as he should be in some ways and is a little different... he's wasted his money on $25 mystery boxes, hdmi cables, books and videos on how to play a violin (umm, he doesn't even have a violin with him, he just plans to one day get his old one back from his parents, wthhh.) And so now he's down to almost zilch in his account.

Those of you that know me probably know that I'm sometimes too nice for my own good... I have a problem saying "no" to people, and I often get doormat treatment I guess. I feel so horrible because he has nowhere to go, and I don't know how to just kick him out knowing he'd be having to live in his car. Frown

But really, I've *got* to get him outta here pretty soon... he's kind of driving me crazy anyway, lol. The wasting money, the having an extra person to pick up after (like 3 kids isn't enough Stick Out Tongue ), he doesn't exactly shower... and I just got a new-to-me couch and I don't want him stinking it up permanently :-/ lol. But seriously. He's gonna have to go.

How do I get him to do that? I honestly feel it's not in my heart to put anyone on the street if I can help it, it makes me feel horrible. But he can't crash here on my couch too much longer; my sanity nor my lease agreement will allow it.

Suggestions on what to do? For someone that doesn't do to well with confrontation or putting others in bad situations? Frown



TL;DR : Friend got kicked out, I said okay, can crash at my place few days til figure something out... still here almost 3 weeks later. Will have nowhere to go when I kick out. What to do?

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Joined Jul 2009
Permanently Bland
> bubble2 15,176 Posts
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PaintTheSkyGrey
03-02-2011 at 06:50 AM.
03-02-2011 at 06:50 AM.
I think Assange got into some trouble when he did that to some chick in Sweden.
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Joined Feb 2009
Jack's Lack of Surprise
> bubble2 10,714 Posts
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SkeezaPleez
03-02-2011 at 06:54 AM.
03-02-2011 at 06:54 AM.
Quote from Brynn :
TL;DR : Friend got kicked out, I said okay, can crash at my place few days til figure something out... still here almost 3 weeks later. Will have nowhere to go when I kick out. What to do?
Tell him your landlord got wind of someone else staying at your place and told you that he needs to be out by a certain date or you're going to get evicted.

(assuming you rent)
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Last edited by SkeezaPleez March 2, 2011 at 06:56 AM.
Joined Oct 2005
beeeeeer
> bubble2 11,718 Posts
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mattman688
03-02-2011 at 06:59 AM.
03-02-2011 at 06:59 AM.
hey when he moves out....can i move in? Big Grin
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Joined Oct 2004
Professor Fishslapper!
> bubble2 12,104 Posts
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dalokgawd
03-02-2011 at 07:02 AM.
03-02-2011 at 07:02 AM.
Call his parents and tell them that unless they come get him he's going to be living in his car because your landlord has been giving you the stinkeye and you're not going to get kicked out of your house for violating your lease because he is too incompetent to manage his own life.

I'm pretty sure they will come get him.
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Joined Jan 2008
L8: Grand Teacher
> bubble2 3,747 Posts
stomach
03-02-2011 at 07:37 AM.
03-02-2011 at 07:37 AM.
why buy the cow when the milks free?
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Joined May 2005
Proud Barner
> bubble2 36,606 Posts
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TigerStar
03-02-2011 at 07:41 AM.
03-02-2011 at 07:41 AM.
I'm sorry Brynn.

How can you expect to ignore us for so long and then come asking for advice? Nono2

We expect you to be here at least one day a week.
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Joined Nov 2007
XBL GT: xGuN Slinger 77
> bubble2 13,208 Posts
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Roland Deschain
03-02-2011 at 08:05 AM.
03-02-2011 at 08:05 AM.
Quote from SkeezaPleez :
Tell him your landlord got wind of someone else staying at your place and told you that he needs to be out by a certain date or you're going to get evicted.

(assuming you rent)

First this^

Then...

Quote from emelvee :
Give him a specific date and time that he was to be out... like Friday at noon or whatever. You're going to have to be firm and specific.
and when his lip starts trembling (because it will) while he says, "but i have nowhere to go".

Tell him to:

Quote from mattman688 :
move back in with his parents.
and remind him that you have no choice because you risk getting evicted yourself due to the occupancy rules stated in the rental agreement.

You can't have this little weak willed freeloader in your house any longer. Unless he's hung like a horse and you don't mind him paying his way by servicing you.

Otherwise....the longer he stays...the harder it will be for him to leave. He's already getting way too farking comfortable if you ask me.
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Joined Feb 2009
Jack's Lack of Surprise
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SkeezaPleez
03-02-2011 at 08:09 AM.
03-02-2011 at 08:09 AM.
Quote from Roland Deschain :

Otherwise....the longer he stays...the harder it will be for him to leave. He's already getting way too farking comfortable if you ask me.
High Five
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Joined Dec 2005
My # is bigger than yours
> bubble2 37,386 Posts
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SnakePlisken
03-02-2011 at 08:12 AM.
03-02-2011 at 08:12 AM.
send mike over to stomp his ass
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Joined Feb 2011
Bananorama
> bubble2 448 Posts
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laloram
03-02-2011 at 08:14 AM.
03-02-2011 at 08:14 AM.
If he bought the hdmi cables and random bs from some sd's then he probably wouldnt be broke. lol
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Joined Jan 2009
I’m evil.....
> bubble2 12,738 Posts
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cupcake42
03-02-2011 at 08:14 AM.
03-02-2011 at 08:14 AM.
I have friends in low places, Just give me the word! Hug2
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Joined Sep 2004
Fighter of Foo
> bubble2 21,321 Posts
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zmarko
03-02-2011 at 08:15 AM.
03-02-2011 at 08:15 AM.
You just gotta be firm with him. Tell him he needs to be out by the end of the week (or next week or whatever). Tell him your apartment manager has confronted you about him being there.
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Joined Apr 2010
L99: Potato
> bubble2 3,582 Posts
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Majide
03-02-2011 at 08:17 AM.
03-02-2011 at 08:17 AM.
Quote from LordOfChaos :
Tell him that you appreciate the situation he is in, but he has been in your house too long. Suggest that he may need to move back in with his parents temporarily until he can find something better. Tell him he has until the end of the weekend to leave.
Iagree
Quote from mattman688 :
tell him to move back in with his parents.

hola brynn! Wave
Iagree
Quote from SkeezaPleez :
Tell him your landlord got wind of someone else staying at your place and told you that he needs to be out by a certain date or you're going to get evicted.

(assuming you rent)
And once again: Iagree
Reply
Joined Apr 2006
somewhere in between...
> bubble2 13,595 Posts
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Original Poster
Brynn
03-02-2011 at 11:05 AM.
03-02-2011 at 11:05 AM.
Quote from mattman688 :
tell him to move back in with his parents.

hola brynn! Wave
Quote from SkeezaPleez :
Tell him your landlord got wind of someone else staying at your place and told you that he needs to be out by a certain date or you're going to get evicted.
(assuming you rent)
Okay, so quick update on these two options. He said his parents told him he can't come back and live with them... apparently when he was staying with my other girl friend, they kind of severed ties with each other after they all got into some heated arguments and they pretty much told him if he chose to stay there with her, they'd never let him come back. Sigh.

Ohh, and yes, I tried the landlord thing. Sent him a message last night when he was gone to work to tell him that my apt manager stopped me on my way out yesterday evening saying that she was gonna try to be kind and give me a verbal warning that he needs to be gone by this Friday rather than having to write it up as a lease violation/report me. His reply was, "Oh no well I will have to see what I can do, shoot, we are going to have to sit down and talk when I get back tonight after work and figure something out." When he did get back, he pretty much didn't mention it. It's like I never said it or something Confused



Quote from ashcampbell :
Print your OP out and leave it lying around somewhere he can find it.
He might not appreciate the parts where I talk about his affliction of being socially awkward and such :-/

Quote from marg_fan :
Start walking around the house naked in front of him after the kids are in bed. When he finally makes a move, scream at him, call him a pervert and tell him if he doesn't get out now, you are calling the police and having him arrested for sexual battery.

Tell him your new 6'5" 250 pound boyfriend is beginning to think something is going on between you two and is extremely jealous. Rent a boyfriend if you need to, have him come over and give him an evil stare while he is there.

Make him babysit and come home late. Do it for ten straight days after feeding your children pure sugar.

No? Well, you aren't his mother and you aren't responsible for him. Give him a deadline and flat out tell him he has to leave. The longer he is there, the harder it will be for you to get him out of your house. Whatever you do, do NOT introduce him to sd. He would always be broke and never leave.

edit: I almost forgot. If you choose the first option, I'll need access to your webcam in order to verify you are correctly implementing the plan. Photo
I know I'm not his mother, but I still just feel bad if he seriously ends up sleeping in his car Frown

And trust me, you don't want that vision burned into your monitor via webcam Nono
Quote from silenze :
simple just tell him he has to leave. done
I guess you might have missed the part where I said I don't know why, but I simply can't bring myself to just be that harsh about it Frown

Quote from w3kn :
If you want him to take his junk out, tell him you're offering OTs. That should do the trick.
That'd be a big negative, ghostrider :-/ not with him... I'm afraid of what his junk may smell like considering he doesn't shower

Quote from wuzzy :


I'll give you some junk.
Hey wuzzy, send it along hug
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Last edited by Brynn March 2, 2011 at 11:07 AM.

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Joined Apr 2006
somewhere in between...
> bubble2 13,595 Posts
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Original Poster
Brynn
03-02-2011 at 11:07 AM.
03-02-2011 at 11:07 AM.
Quote from idkMyBFFist :
I'm sure there are a few loungers that would do this for you... for some sort of "payment" Evillaugh



ftfy Thumbup
So um, how much is it? Angel Not Cause I'm seriously going crazy...

Quote from stimpy :
Nakie pix! Evil Photo

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Now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Woot
Hey stimpy Blush
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