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Forum Thread

Am I required to disclose this information before having sex?

7,598 277 March 29, 2007 at 05:33 AM in Question
My girlfriend was informed by her gynocologist that she has the human papillomavirus, or HPV. It's impossible to tell who had it first, but I'm most likely a carrier now as well. For those of you who don't know, HPV is a virus that's said to be a prerequisite for cervical cancer in women. Men can carry the virus, but it's nearly harmless for them.

Some HPV facts from wikipedia:
Quote :
HPV is the most common sexual transmitted infection in the United States. In the United States approximately 20-million people are currently infected with HPV about 6.2 million Americans will get infected with genital HPV this year.

24.5% prevalence of HPV among females 14 to 19 years old
44.8% prevalence of HPV among females 20 to 24 years old
27.4% prevalence of HPV among females 25 to 29 years old
27.5% prevalence of HPV among females 30 to 39 years old
25.2% prevalence of HPV among females 40 to 49 years old
19.6% prevalence of HPV among females 50 to 59 years old

In the absence of Pap testing or treatment, about 1% of women with genital HPV infections will eventually go on to develop cervical cancer.

Women who have Pap testing or other cervical cancer screenings on a regular basis dramatically decrease their chances of developing cervical cancer.

A 2006 study of 82 college students suggests that condoms can be up to 70% effective for preventing genital HPV infection if used for every sexual encounter.
Here's my question. Am I required to disclose this information before having relations with another woman? I have a feeling that everyone's kneejerk reaction will be "yes", but please consider the following. There's a huge chance that the woman already has the virus, and if she doesn't already she'll probably get it in the future*. With a condom, she probably won't get it from me anyway. With pap testing, there's a very very low risk of cancer. And quite frankly, I feel that she won't know all the facts and will think it's a bigger deal than it actually is.

Thoughts?







*Genital HPV infection is very common, with estimates suggesting that more than 50% of women will become infected with one or more of the sexually transmitted HPV types at some point during adulthood.[7]

The American Social Health Association projections in 2006 were yet more pessimistic, predicting that about 75% of the reproductive population will have been infected with genital HPV infection in their lifetime.
Would YOU disclose that you're an HPV carrier? (please read the wiki facts first)
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Caydensmom
03-29-2007 at 06:11 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:11 AM.
Quote from Ram|bunc|tious :
Iagree and I'm betting that most taking the poll are in a relationship...
I'll cop to that Rammy. We are pretty open about things though considering the previous circumstances at the beginning of the year. DH and I have also discussed the guardisil shots with our two older teenage daughters. We both feel very strongly about this.
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McSlick
03-29-2007 at 06:12 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:12 AM.
Quote from thegoalie :
I have a feeling that all the people who are screaming "yes yes yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" have no idea if they have the virus, and haven't given a second thought to finding out and informing their partners as much.
You think you have a virus that you got from your girl, and now you are trying to find a reason to justify not disclosing this information to a potential girl in hopes of sexual relations???

vomit

How about you ask yourself this-- if roles were reversed in the same scenario, how would you feel? (i.e. A girl had a disease that could, although unlikely, cause a man cancer and maybe even die). Would you want this girl lying to you and taking a chance while she justifies to herself why she is knowingly infecting you with a disease that could kill you. "Well, it is such a small percentage that die. Most guys have it but don't even know it, so he probably has it already. It's not really a big deal so he doesn't need to know."

So you would be cool with this? Roll Eyes (Sarcastic)
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scorpioguy
03-29-2007 at 06:12 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:12 AM.
Quote from ~Kimber~ :
I am just completely disgusted that you are trying to turn this around on us because you don't want to do the right thing.
i agree. i think someone is just pissed and somehow expects that there would be some kind of support for what the OP plans to do ... i.e...not inform future partners of his STD status. a very reprehensible act. hope ur weee wee snaps into a million pieces.LMAO and yes i just laughed at you for having an STD...i normally wouldnt laugh at someone for this., but in this i think its warranted.
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~Kimber~
03-29-2007 at 06:12 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:12 AM.
Quote from Caydensmom :
I'll cop to that Rammy. We are pretty open about things though considering the previous circumstances at the beginning of the year. DH and I have also discussed the guardisil shots with our two older teenage daughters. We both feel very strongly about this.
Our daughter will be getting the Guardisil shot when she is old enough too.
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thegoalie
03-29-2007 at 06:12 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:12 AM.
Quote from ~Kimber~ :
Yes, I'm married and yes, I've been tested. I have more than one friend with HPV and each time they found out, it was devastating.
This highlights the point I was trying to make in the OP. Having the virus should not be devistating. I suspect that your friends didn't know all of the facts.

Remember that with pap screenings, acquiring cancer is "significantly" less than 1%. They're still more likely to develop other types of cancers, such as breast or lung (if they smoke). Further, some studies show that 85% of people will be exposed to HPV in their lifetime.

Riding in a car on the highway is statistically far more dangerous than HPV. Are your friends devistated everytime they find out they have to take a roadtrip?
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Ram|bunc|tious
03-29-2007 at 06:12 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:12 AM.
Quote from ~Kimber~ :
I am just completely disgusted that you are trying to turn this around on us because you don't want to do the right thing.
Who? TG? I think that's a bit harsh and the guy is being open, give him a break. YES I think he should share this information prior to making the beast with two backs but bashing him over the head isn't going to convince him (is it?)
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scorpioguy
03-29-2007 at 06:13 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:13 AM.
Quote from _TMK_ :
You think you have a virus that you got from your girl, and now you are trying to find a reason to justify not disclosing this information to a potential girl in hopes of sexual relations???

vomit

How about you ask yourself this-- if roles were reversed in the same scenario, how would you feel? (i.e. A girl had a disease that could, although unlikely, cause a man cancer and maybe even die). Would you want this girl lying to you and taking a chance while she justifies to herself why she is knowingly infecting you with a disease that could kill you. "Well, it is such a small percentage that die. Most guys have it but don't even know it, so he probably has it already. It's not really a big deal so he doesn't need to know."

So you would be cool with this? Roll Eyes (Sarcastic)
this is probably the response the OP will probably give...
hey tmk are u married? and do u have HPV? and if you did , did you tell ur partners? you arent being real...the OPs argument is ridiculous.
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moey
03-29-2007 at 06:14 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:14 AM.
Quote from thegoalie :
Ah, but do THEY practice what they preach? I'd really like to hear from all of the people in the "YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" crowd.

1) Do you know with certainty that you have or do not have the virus?

2) If yes, have you ever told a partner about it?
1) There is no test for men only women. So question 1 is lopsided.

I gave my wife genital herpes. Although two doctors contradicted themselves in the diagnosis type I vs type 2. If you have ever gotten a cold sore you have type I and can conceivably give that to someone on there genitals.
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briang
03-29-2007 at 06:14 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:14 AM.
yes..
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Caydensmom
03-29-2007 at 06:14 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:14 AM.
Quote from ~Kimber~ :
Our daughter will be getting the Guardisil shot when she is old enough too.
not to go all OT here but I have been fighting our insurance company over this. They still consider it experamentative and won't cover the three boosters. They are $500.00 each. WTH they won't cover something that can save them millions in the future is beyond me. Do you know if yours will cover it?
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scorpioguy
03-29-2007 at 06:14 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:14 AM.
Quote from Ram|bunc|tious :
Who? TG? I think that's a bit harsh and the guy is being open, give him a break. YES I think he should share this information prior to making the beast with two backs but bashing him over the head isn't going to convince him (is it?)
ok so if i raped someone and was open about it would i get a break? shake head
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thegoalie
03-29-2007 at 06:15 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:15 AM.
Quote from ~Kimber~ :
I am just completely disgusted that you are trying to turn this around on us because you don't want to do the right thing.
You couldn't be more wrong. What do you think the point of this thread is? To tell the world that I don't plan on saying anything to a partner? I simply wanted to hear different points of view. I never said if plan to disclose the information or not!

YOU'RE the one who's turning me ME. You should thank me for increasing HPV awareness. I'm waiting.
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Saxidani
03-29-2007 at 06:17 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:17 AM.
The way I see it, the OP is taking away the woman's right to choose in this matter by willfully witholding potentially life threatening information...

and as you said in an earlier post... something about only one percent being fatal and it not being a big deal.... tell that to the one percent OP......
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Last edited by Saxidani March 29, 2007 at 06:19 AM.
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~Kimber~
03-29-2007 at 06:17 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:17 AM.
Quote from thegoalie :
This highlights the point I was trying to make in the OP. Having the virus should not be devistating. I suspect that your friends didn't know all of the facts.

Remember that with pap screenings, acquiring cancer is "significantly" less than 1%. They're still more likely to develop other types of cancers, such as breast or lung (if they smoke). Further, some studies show that 85% of people will be exposed to HPV in their lifetime.

Riding in a car on the highway is statistically far more dangerous than HPV. Are your friends devistated everytime they find out they have to take a roadtrip?
After I said that, I gave an example of it. Just because it's not devastating to you, doesn't mean it's not to other people.
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thegoalie
03-29-2007 at 06:17 AM.
03-29-2007 at 06:17 AM.
Quote from scorpioguy :
this is probably the response the OP will probably give...
hey tmk are u married? and do u have HPV? and if you did , did you tell ur partners? you arent being real...the OPs argument is ridiculous.
The OPs argument is that he feels that many people in the YES crowd don't practice what they preach.

I don't see what's ridiculous about that.
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