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RETIRED The Official Good Girls Thread

1,520 2,184 November 5, 2011 at 11:50 PM
New name, same girls!

Let me reintroduce, the VS Social Thread!

Since the Social Threads seem to have been done away with, this is the new home of the VS Social Thread. We talk about everything from VS to Express to Beauty to Coupons to Hot Deals...and of course, our personal lives.

Roll call! Let's get back to what we do!
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Joined Jan 2008
HER SPOILED HIGHNESS
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ALVSGIRLY
02-10-2013 at 08:56 AM.
02-10-2013 at 08:56 AM.
Quote from earthdeuxbella :
And while everyone is having a heart to heart in here... can I bug you ladies for some life advice? I don't know if any of you ever watched Gilmore Girls, but I am stuck in a relationship similar to Rory & her grandparents. I'm NOT close to my mom's parents - she was an only child and they are, for lack of a better phrase, ALL UP IN her life. They own the house she rents, they come over to her house unannounced whenever they want, & they will sacrifice the happiness of anyone & everyone to do whatever it takes to make their daughter happy, even if it isn't the right thing to do. They have constantly instructed my sister and I to ignore our own feelings or integrity at her expense (I ignore them, which is why they think I'm a troubled child and need extra forced attention).

The problem is, they *know* I'm not close to them and that I disapprove of their life philosophies, especially concerning my mother. So in return, they attempt to absolutely smother me with attention & "affection" (usually disguised as money) to buy my love. They repeatedly offer to do outrageous things like buy me a car, but I always decline beause I don't want to owe them anything (not in the monetary sense, but I would always be indebted to them).

I know that's a really long back story, sorry.. the problem I'm having is that they have a "family" lunch every Sunday. I got out of it while I was away & in college, but now they are continually badgering me about coming. It has gotten to the point where they show up at my work to put me on the spot, in person. They know I'm single, that my work is closed Sundays... so they know I have no excuse to not go. It's hard to be like "Well, I have laundry to do, so I can't spare a few hours" or "I was really planning on just kicking back and being lazy." How do I say NO, especially when they put me on the spot in front of other people??
They sound a lot like my mil. She's codependant and she wants to be needed to the point where it negatively affects the people she does help because she is enabling and not helping them. She tried it with me, and I had to pull away and keep my distance from her. We're to the point where we are nice to each other but not close. That was one of the best things about moving is getting away from her. I'd just do what you want to do. Go when you want but if you don't feel like it don't go. I've also found that saying I have other plans normally works better than saying you have the laundry or whatever to do. I'd keep it vague. If you say you're doing laundry or sitting around watching tv that could just make them push more.
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Joined Jan 2008
Queen of Duplicate Items
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azn1x6flame
02-10-2013 at 09:23 AM.
02-10-2013 at 09:23 AM.
Quote from nerdicus :
1) 69.90 jacket, black, 2
2) lace peplum top xs (39.90) and teal herringbone skirt in 2. I think I like the fit of the 2 better. It's more professional since it's not as tight.
3) striped peplum top xs - this top makes me look so busty!
I really like the 3 on you. I think it flatters you really well and gives you a nice busty look.

As for the sweater, I think if you're going for covering up the bum, it's fine as is, but I bet XS would give it a more polished look. Generally a cute sweater on you though! nod
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Joined Jan 2008
Queen of Duplicate Items
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azn1x6flame
02-10-2013 at 09:33 AM.
02-10-2013 at 09:33 AM.
Quote from CrazyCatJade :
I guess one of the things that makes it so difficult is that this is the oilfield. Women aren't really respected period. It's totally not a case of a woman whining because she doesn't feel she is being treated fairly just because - I have spent almost four years doing all the scheduling and I even had to help train the new guys they brought in, just to turn around and make me the one who cleans up their messes. Our management is horrible - the guys never do ANYTHING wrong while I sit there and tidy everything up behind the scenes and then get so much thrown on my plate - I get in trouble when things get messed up because I didn't catch their mistakes.

It was more a situational thing for me - I'm so unbelievably frustrated with where things are going and how they are happening that the comment pushed me over the edge mentally even though it wasn't something that would have normally upset me. I know men like to mess with women and get a rise out of them, but this guy really is an arrogant jacktard all the time.

Sigh. I think I need a vacation!!!
hug Perhaps the best thing is to move to another industry where women could be respected slightly more? I feel that it would be hard for women to be respected in most industries, but location could be a factor? I think of my friends in the oil and energy fields out here, and I've not hear them have such complaints. Granted, I'm sure it's very similar in terms of respect to a degree, but I'm also of the belief that geographical location may play a role.

You need to start requesting vacation days ASAP nod Cool
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Joined Sep 2007
Love It, VS!
> bubble2 1,520 Posts
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Original Poster
IceyNiki
02-10-2013 at 09:48 AM.
02-10-2013 at 09:48 AM.
Quote from earthdeuxbella :
I ordered some of the Prabal stuff, too... I'm a sucker for Target's collabs. I stayed up late last night and ordered but I'm worried b/c reviews from people who went B&M keep mentioning that the line might run large?

And about the Jason Wu dress.. do you have it? I know you said you missed out, JW because in a strange turn of events, I actually have that dress, in white, in either a 4or 6. I'd have to go look & I don't remember what size you are. But it's still got tags and everything.
That may be for the best. I went for a larger size, so in essence it may save me money (return).

Nope, I never got the dress. How did the Jason Wu collection run?

Quote from earthdeuxbella :
And while everyone is having a heart to heart in here... can I bug you ladies for some life advice? I don't know if any of you ever watched Gilmore Girls, but I am stuck in a relationship similar to Rory & her grandparents. I'm NOT close to my mom's parents - she was an only child and they are, for lack of a better phrase, ALL UP IN her life. They own the house she rents, they come over to her house unannounced whenever they want, & they will sacrifice the happiness of anyone & everyone to do whatever it takes to make their daughter happy, even if it isn't the right thing to do. They have constantly instructed my sister and I to ignore our own feelings or integrity at her expense (I ignore them, which is why they think I'm a troubled child and need extra forced attention).

The problem is, they *know* I'm not close to them and that I disapprove of their life philosophies, especially concerning my mother. So in return, they attempt to absolutely smother me with attention & "affection" (usually disguised as money) to buy my love. They repeatedly offer to do outrageous things like buy me a car, but I always decline beause I don't want to owe them anything (not in the monetary sense, but I would always be indebted to them).

I know that's a really long back story, sorry.. the problem I'm having is that they have a "family" lunch every Sunday. I got out of it while I was away & in college, but now they are continually badgering me about coming. It has gotten to the point where they show up at my work to put me on the spot, in person. They know I'm single, that my work is closed Sundays... so they know I have no excuse to not go. It's hard to be like "Well, I have laundry to do, so I can't spare a few hours" or "I was really planning on just kicking back and being lazy." How do I say NO, especially when they put me on the spot in front of other people??
I would just say no. All the time, anywhere, no matter who was around. I'd probably also ask them why they are coming to my job...that their pressure is not going to work. I have no problem cutting people off. I only talked to my mother a handful of times last year. Life is too precious. I like to live it in a state of happiness. I hope everything works out in your favor.
Reply
Joined Jan 2008
HER SPOILED HIGHNESS
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ALVSGIRLY
02-10-2013 at 10:24 AM.
02-10-2013 at 10:24 AM.
Wow, that dress I bought yesterday makes the hips pop. I think maybe too much.
Reply
Joined Jun 2006
Officially a dork
> bubble2 6,298 Posts
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CrazyCatJade
02-10-2013 at 10:31 AM.
02-10-2013 at 10:31 AM.
Quote from ALVSGIRLY :
I know what you're talking about. Dh's company had female engineer apply to be a project manager with them. They were concerned about the men under her respecting her. IMO she'd have to work so much harder because of that. She eventually decided herself she didn't want the position after they carried her out to one of the sites.

I think it's good you have a plan to get away from that company. Some guys are just like that. I wish I could tell you to put something in his food but that would probably get you in trouble Evillaugh.
My company is bad with it too. We have a few female engineers but they are treated differently. We had a woman apply to be a supervisor offshore and she was WAY more qualified than the men we hired. They didn't hire her because they didn't want the drama. Right there shows you what my boss thinks of women Frown
Quote from azn1x6flame :
hug Perhaps the best thing is to move to another industry where women could be respected slightly more? I feel that it would be hard for women to be respected in most industries, but location could be a factor? I think of my friends in the oil and energy fields out here, and I've not hear them have such complaints. Granted, I'm sure it's very similar in terms of respect to a degree, but I'm also of the belief that geographical location may play a role.

You need to start requesting vacation days ASAP nod Cool
Location may be a factor but also the department. I work with the offshore crews themselves and the project managers. They are notoriously trashy (hence the term oilfield trash lol) I'll be seeing if I can change departments but in the long run, a different company or logistics in something not oil related may be a good move.
Quote from IceyNiki :
That may be for the best. I went for a larger size, so in essence it may save me money (return).

Nope, I never got the dress. How did the Jason Wu collection run?



I would just say no. All the time, anywhere, no matter who was around. I'd probably also ask them why they are coming to my job...that their pressure is not going to work. I have no problem cutting people off. I only talked to my mother a handful of times last year. Life is too precious. I like to live it in a state of happiness. I hope everything works out in your favor.
I always say that when something runs too big or small they are saving me money too haha.
Quote from ALVSGIRLY :
Wow, that dress I bought yesterday makes the hips pop. I think maybe too much.
I don't need help making the hips pop. Eek. Sorry it isn't perfect for you!
Reply
Joined Dec 2005
Ordering Queen
> bubble2 902 Posts
6,409 Reputation
kurips
02-10-2013 at 10:52 AM.
02-10-2013 at 10:52 AM.
Quote from ALVSGIRLY :
Wow, that dress I bought yesterday makes the hips pop. I think maybe too much.
which one? the red/black?
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Joined Jul 2006
shopaholic/dealaholic
> bubble2 1,645 Posts
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nerdicus
02-10-2013 at 11:08 AM.
02-10-2013 at 11:08 AM.
Quote from IceyNiki :
I ordered two Prabal Gurung For Target dresses. Mostly because I missed out on the Jason Wu for Target dress that is my pic of the moment. Hopefully, I only love one of them. Anyone else purchasing from the collection?
I saw the commercials and have been interested but I haven't looked yet.
Quote from PordaPoddy :
The cardi - the plus side is that it makes you look tiny, but I think it's probably too big for you - the sleeves have a bit of room in them and there's an extra fold in the side that doesn't look like it's supposed to be part of the drape. I know the allure of comfy things to wrap up in Girly


I like both the peplums on you! The stripe one looks different on you than the website. I think it looks better on you. I tried the zip-back skirt but decided that I didn't want to sit on a zipper. It was very tempting. It also comes in herringbone.
I asked dh about the sweater and he said I looked like a grandma. I guess that's a no...
I loved those peplum tops! I wish they were on sale...
I didnt think about the sitting on a zipper part!
Quote from ALVSGIRLY :
i like it. i have a few sweaters like that. love the look plus it's comfortable.

both peplum tops are amazing! i want to try the striped. horizontal stripes make you appear bigger Whee.
Did you just say i look fat? Stick Out Tongue laugh out loud
Quote from kurips :
Speaking of target, my debit card came in yday! Thanks for the suggestions ladies! Now I can get fs from target!
Whee
Quote from kurips :
Nerdi- I'm not sure if it's exactly the same one, but I returned a cocoon sweater even though it was a good price after sale and coupon. I am not opposed to the cocoon shape, but I just didn't like that particular one. Maybe I'm not drawn in to thicker sweaters anymore.
I like it but don't love it. I tested it out at home yesterday and it didn't keep me that warm. It was only 15 but I decided against it.
Quote from earthdeuxbella :
And while everyone is having a heart to heart in here... can I bug you ladies for some life advice? I don't know if any of you ever watched Gilmore Girls, but I am stuck in a relationship similar to Rory & her grandparents. I'm NOT close to my mom's parents - she was an only child and they are, for lack of a better phrase, ALL UP IN her life. They own the house she rents, they come over to her house unannounced whenever they want, & they will sacrifice the happiness of anyone & everyone to do whatever it takes to make their daughter happy, even if it isn't the right thing to do. They have constantly instructed my sister and I to ignore our own feelings or integrity at her expense (I ignore them, which is why they think I'm a troubled child and need extra forced attention).

The problem is, they *know* I'm not close to them and that I disapprove of their life philosophies, especially concerning my mother. So in return, they attempt to absolutely smother me with attention & "affection" (usually disguised as money) to buy my love. They repeatedly offer to do outrageous things like buy me a car, but I always decline beause I don't want to owe them anything (not in the monetary sense, but I would always be indebted to them).

I know that's a really long back story, sorry.. the problem I'm having is that they have a "family" lunch every Sunday. I got out of it while I was away & in college, but now they are continually badgering me about coming. It has gotten to the point where they show up at my work to put me on the spot, in person. They know I'm single, that my work is closed Sundays... so they know I have no excuse to not go. It's hard to be like "Well, I have laundry to do, so I can't spare a few hours" or "I was really planning on just kicking back and being lazy." How do I say NO, especially when they put me on the spot in front of other people??
I don't really have any words of wisdom here, but I just wanted to say I LOVE Gilmore girls and I still watch the episodes when I'm in a mood! I have all the DVDs and they calm me when I'm feeling stressed at work.
Quote from azn1x6flame :
I really like the 3 on you. I think it flatters you really well and gives you a nice busty look.

As for the sweater, I think if you're going for covering up the bum, it's fine as is, but I bet XS would give it a more polished look. Generally a cute sweater on you though! nod
I don't think the xs looks more polished... I think the style is oversized and the xs just looks a tad shorter on me, but just as wide. I decided I'm returning it. Thanks for the opinions tho! Smilie
Quote from ALVSGIRLY :
Wow, that dress I bought yesterday makes the hips pop. I think maybe too much.
Which dress and how does it make your hips pop?
Reply
Joined Dec 2006
L5: Journeyman
> bubble2 614 Posts
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GoHeels
02-10-2013 at 11:21 AM.
02-10-2013 at 11:21 AM.
Quote from kurips :
also a "$98" bag clearanced at $15. the sides and handle are "leather". front and back are studded canvas. i am not fully convinced, but i like the % off and the size. these size bags are actually very big for me, but many times i don't have a choice when i need to carry books and papers.
Attachment 1777140
That bag will be great for school. It's cute.

Quote from ALVSGIRLY :
I just tried it on and it looks ah-freakin-mazing :w hee:. I was worried because I didn't try it on! I'm excited! It was practically free :whe e:!
Whee

Quote from nerdicus :
awww :com fort: i hope you're feeling better. just a warning - you will probably need a belt with the ivory cords. the cut of it is a little big on the waist even for us bigger-waisted folks.
Thanks for the tip. I still haven't gotten around to trying everything on. I need to do that today.

Quote from nerdicus :
my coat came BIS in S!!!! i just ordered... hopefully it ships and i can stop stalking it!
Woot I can't believe you caught it. bounce I had been checking for you every few hours & didn't see it.

Quote from GirlOnTheBeach :
Kurpee, I love that necklace and bag you posted!! I almost jumped on the bag, but decided at the last minute that I didn't need it.

I got my orders today too. I am SO irritated because I ordered the sharkbite dress in black, thinking it would be cute to wear to work in the spring/summer. Well....the one they sent me is maroon. Meaning I cannot wear it to work. :m ad: I prob wouldn't wear it much otherwise, so it's going back.

This dress [express.com] is cute....def will keep. It looks best with a wide belt.

I also got a white studded clutch for $10. (I wish it was a little bigger, but I'll keep it anyways), some cute black sunglasses for $5, and a super crazy long dangly beaded necklace that was orig. priced at $69.90.... I got it for $2.99. :l ol: I will keep it just for that fact. haha Even if I wear it once, I got my moneys worth!
Great deals! High Five

Quote from ALVSGIRLY :
i'm bad about banning companies. i've already placed orders at limited and i wasn't supposed to do that because i was mad.
I'm good about banning companies, until they have a killer deal. Then I seem to forget about the ban. Teehee

Quote from nerdicus :
Not sure about this sweater. What do you all think? It's the marled cocoon sweater. This is in s (I got a blue one in xs but I think the bigger one covers my bum better).
I like it. It looks good on you.

Quote from nerdicus :
1) 69.90 jacket, black, 2
2) lace peplum top xs (39.90) and teal herringbone skirt in 2. I think I like the fit of the 2 better. It's more professional since it's not as tight.
3) striped peplum top xs - this top makes me look so busty!
I want both of those peplum tops. I'm tempted to order them at full price in case they sell out. What do you think?
Reply
Joined Nov 2008
i write novels, not posts
> bubble2 1,245 Posts
4,759 Reputation
earthdeuxbella
02-10-2013 at 11:35 AM.
02-10-2013 at 11:35 AM.
Quote from IceyNiki :
That may be for the best. I went for a larger size, so in essence it may save me money (return).

Nope, I never got the dress. How did the Jason Wu collection run?
I think Jason Wu was pretty TTS, maybe a few pieces running small. I have really broad shoulders and normally need a 10/12 in tops to accommodate that and the L in almost all of his "blouses" were too tight through the shoulders. But the bottoms were TTS, and the "milo" kitty tee actually ran large. I could wear a medium in it.

If you ever decide you want the Jason Wu dress let me know, I ordered a 4 for my sister and it was too small for her so I just have it laying around.

And thanks for your advice on the family issue. I am at the point in my life where I have started cutting people out, especially people who are dishonest or simply nosy instead of genuinely care about me, and I think there's not any way to ask my gparents to tone it down. It's just hard when you live in a small town to cut someone out when they know where you live, work, have your cell #, etc. There's no escaping them until I move away! Ack shake head
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Joined Dec 2005
Ordering Queen
> bubble2 902 Posts
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kurips
02-10-2013 at 11:35 AM.
02-10-2013 at 11:35 AM.
Quote from nerdicus :
I asked dh about the sweater and he said I looked like a grandma. I guess that's a no...
that crossed my mind too about the sweater. it must be the same one Teehee your dh is good!
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Joined Dec 2006
L5: Journeyman
> bubble2 614 Posts
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GoHeels
02-10-2013 at 11:45 AM.
02-10-2013 at 11:45 AM.
I wish Express would change their home page. That guy looks so much like someone from my past that it freaks me out every time I see it. I'm going to have to Google something specific, so I can bypass the home page. Embarrassment
Reply
Joined Sep 2007
Love It, VS!
> bubble2 1,520 Posts
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Original Poster
IceyNiki
02-10-2013 at 12:08 PM.
02-10-2013 at 12:08 PM.
Quote from CrazyCatJade :
I always say that when something runs too big or small they are saving me money too haha.
We have to tell ourselves something! Haha

Quote from nerdicus :
I saw the commercials and have been interested but I haven't looked yet.
I only heard about it because I just happened to be watching E! News on Friday, and they did a segment on it. I have not watched E! in a long time...since that family took over the station.

Quote from earthdeuxbella :
I think Jason Wu was pretty TTS, maybe a few pieces running small. I have really broad shoulders and normally need a 10/12 in tops to accommodate that and the L in almost all of his "blouses" were too tight through the shoulders. But the bottoms were TTS, and the "milo" kitty tee actually ran large. I could wear a medium in it.

If you ever decide you want the Jason Wu dress let me know, I ordered a 4 for my sister and it was too small for her so I just have it laying around.

And thanks for your advice on the family issue. I am at the point in my life where I have started cutting people out, especially people who are dishonest or simply nosy instead of genuinely care about me, and I think there's not any way to ask my gparents to tone it down. It's just hard when you live in a small town to cut someone out when they know where you live, work, have your cell #, etc. There's no escaping them until I move away! Ack shake head
You are so sweet. I cannot squeeze into a 4. I wish I could...that dress is everything. Thank you for thinking of me. I found it online in Black, but I do not trust that it would be coming from a "clean" home. And I really would prefer White.

I understand! If you need to vent or bounce ideas, we are happy to assist. Even though I have never met anyone from the thread in person, some are better friends than family members. Sad but true.
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Joined Nov 2008
Queen of Statistics
> bubble2 284 Posts
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red333
02-10-2013 at 12:25 PM.
02-10-2013 at 12:25 PM.
Good luck,EDB Frown

ALVS, I'll get to your PM tomorrow when I have a bunch of time to write stuff out. Very exciting, though Smilie

Thanks for the outfit advice. I was going to go with the sweater dress because it's Monday, but I feel really glad that you guys talked me out of it because he's wearing a suit...really good call... I'll probably go with 2 or 3 depending on how I feel tomorrow. Probably either of them is fine since we're just doing dinner and aren't really doing anything before or after, so I don't have to worry about walking or wondering what other people think of me...

Sucks that I want something I shouldn't but glad I have enough self-control to know better...
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Joined Jan 2008
HER SPOILED HIGHNESS
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ALVSGIRLY
02-10-2013 at 01:30 PM.
02-10-2013 at 01:30 PM.
Quote from kurips :
which one? the red/black?
yes! i just took some pics. they're uploading.

Quote from nerdicus :

Did you just say i look fat? Stick Out Tongue laugh out loud
In a good way Whee
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Last edited by ALVSGIRLY February 10, 2013 at 01:31 PM.
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