My 4yr old was left at his dad's home w/ a 10 and 8 yr old...what do I do?

sorry people. I never venture into the Lounge, but I figured this was worth the question. My son is four and his dad and I have been split up/divorced for 3 yrs+. we have split custody and trade off every other week. we live in TX.

My son told me that he was left at home with the other two boys that live in his home that are 10 and 8 (ex lives with his GF and her 2 kids)

I am thinking of getting a lawyer and taking him to court for child endangerment.

I can understand maybe a 13+ yr old watching some other kid but not 10 and 8. They have no knowledge of CPR, first aid, calling 911 in a panic, fire danger, not answering the front door.

Any thoughts, suggestions? I am kind of scared of turning his dad in, as to what can happen on the weeks I dont have him, but I feel helpless putting my son in that situation.

I called my ex and he admitted they left them but "only for a few mins, and it wasnt my concern on the weeks that arent mine"

(please excuse the typing as my s and w key are busted, so I have to cut and paste. )

Still upset he dumped you 3 years ago huh?

I say keep calling the dad over and over and nag him about it until he admits what he did was wrong.

wow you're so cool....thanks for helping me with my child's well being...

...and I divorced him

I was certified in first aid & CPR when I was 10. I knew how to dial 911 when I was about 5 and always knew to not answer the front door.

I'm not saying what he did was necessarily right but the fact that you're ready to run down to the courthouse over it suggests there's more to the story.

uh oh.... I bring the trash buckets in from the street and I tell our 3 year old to watch our 8 week old. I feel very negligent at this point. One time I even talked to the neighbor when I was out. Oh wait our dog is there shes 9, Im good..

you think?

so then you are still bitter

lol theres no such thing as an amicable divorice
it that 9 in dog years?

Y'all really need to learn how to co-parent for the child's best interest. With that being said, I wouldn't want my 4 year old left alone with children that age and would put a stop to it.

ok, I will TRY to help out a bit.

OP, if your first thought is to lawyer up, you need to take a long look in the mirror and get your head right. I can only imagine the way you approached your ex when you learned of the situation, and I can probably understand why he would get defensive.

The first thing you should have done was calmed down, and tried to understand the situation from both sides. Then when you are calm and have thought about it a bit, think about what you would like to happen or change in the future. With your knee jerk reaction, what did you want to happen? Take away his custody? Is that what you want? Why? Or do you just want him to watch your son better? If its the latter, then a simple email or phone call would probably suffice. If its the former, then this situation has nothing to do with what you want.

Anyway, moving forward. You could probably say something like:

"Hey , sorry about the conversation the other day about . I was a little out of line with my tone and want to apologize. That being said, I am still concerned about having your GFs children watch , even if its for a few minutes. I know situations may come up when its not that convenient to take with you, but I would feel more comfortable if you would could just please have him go with you so that I know a responsible and caring person is always watching him. I know you would never want to put in a dangerous situation, and neither would I. And just as you have every right to know that is safe with me, I want to be assured that he is safe with you.

I really appreciate your consideration in this, and again I apologize for my tone the other day"

I nominate this for post of the week! :winner:

Y'all really need to learn how to co-parent for the child's best interest. With that being said, I wouldn't want my 4 year old left alone with children that age and would put a stop to it.

i don't think thats true…


i think the real question is for how long and where did the "supervisor" go?


if they were gone for 5 minutes to check the mail, or to go over to the neighbors house to hep them jump start the car, its COMPLETELY different than having them gone for 2 hours while they went to buy weed and get loaded…


OP's story is indicative of someone who is bitter and angry, a reasonable person would have started with sitting down and having a conversation to get the circumstances about what happened.


OP is just trolling their ex and deserves to loose custody of their child for being too stupid to raise children properly

I think that's the best answer so far.

ok, I will TRY to help out a bit.

OP, if your first thought is to lawyer up, you need to take a long look in the mirror and get your head right. I can only imagine the way you approached your ex when you learned of the situation, and I can probably understand why he would get defensive.

The first thing you should have done was calmed down, and tried to understand the situation from both sides. Then when you are calm and have thought about it a bit, think about what you would like to happen or change in the future. With your knee jerk reaction, what did you want to happen? Take away his custody? Is that what you want? Why? Or do you just want him to watch your son better? If its the latter, then a simple email or phone call would probably suffice. If its the former, then this situation has nothing to do with what you want.

Anyway, moving forward. You could probably say something like:

"Hey , sorry about the conversation the other day about . I was a little out of line with my tone and want to apologize. That being said, I am still concerned about having your GFs children watch , even if its for a few minutes. I know situations may come up when its not that convenient to take with you, but I would feel more comfortable if you would could just please have him go with you so that I know a responsible and caring person is always watching him. I know you would never want to put in a dangerous situation, and neither would I. And just as you have every right to know that is safe with me, I want to be assured that he is safe with you.

I really appreciate your consideration in this, and again I apologize for my tone the other day"

No one here could say that even if a child knew CPR or not to answer the door or how to call 911 that they would actually do it in an emergency situation.

Fighting with your ex wont accomplish anything. You need to realize that you both are working together to raise your son, despite it being in two different homes. Animosity between the parents does no good at all.

i don't think thats true…

i think the real question is for how long and where did the "supervisor" go?

if they were gone for 5 minutes to check the mail, or to go over to the neighbors house to hep them jump start the car, its COMPLETELY different than having them gone for 2 hours while they went to buy weed and get loaded…

I have no idea if what the OP describes is endangerment or abuse or whatever, but there certainly ought to be a term that describes what an innocent child goes through when they have their lives uprooted every single week of the farking year to go live in a different house with their other parent because it is "their turn".

The kids always pay the biggest price for the choices of their parents.

now laughing at myself thinking back, I was watching my db/ds when I was 10 and they were 7/5 in Tx I had to watch them and make sure we had dinner till my folks got back from work at 11pm most days. if I recall. But that was a different time.

It wasn't that different, we just didn't have a 24 hour news cycle to make us scared of everything.

now laughing at myself thinking back, I was watching my db/ds when I was 10 and they were 7/5 in Tx I had to watch them and make sure we had dinner till my folks got back from work at 11pm most days. if I recall. But that was a different time.