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My 4yr old was left at his dad's home w/ a 10 and 8 yr old...what do I do?

1,230 2,939 February 18, 2013 at 08:39 PM in Babies & Kids (2)
sorry people. I never venture into the Lounge, but I figured this was worth the question. My son is four and his dad and I have been split up/divorced for 3 yrs+. we have split custody and trade off every other week. we live in TX.

My son told me that he was left at home with the other two boys that live in his home that are 10 and 8 (ex lives with his GF and her 2 kids)

I am thinking of getting a lawyer and taking him to court for child endangerment.

I can understand maybe a 13+ yr old watching some other kid but not 10 and 8. They have no knowledge of CPR, first aid, calling 911 in a panic, fire danger, not answering the front door.

Any thoughts, suggestions? I am kind of scared of turning his dad in, as to what can happen on the weeks I dont have him, but I feel helpless putting my son in that situation.

I called my ex and he admitted they left them but "only for a few mins, and it wasnt my concern on the weeks that arent mine"

(please excuse the typing as my s and w key are busted, so I have to cut and paste. )
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Joined Oct 2004
Professor Fishslapper!
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dalokgawd
02-19-2013 at 10:52 AM.
02-19-2013 at 10:52 AM.
Quote from teenbean :
Times haven't changed other then parents baby their children for so much longer and then they wonder why their 30 year old son still lives in the basement.
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Joined Jun 2008
Life = YMMV
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teenbean
02-19-2013 at 10:56 AM.
02-19-2013 at 10:56 AM.
Quote from dalokgawd :

laugh out loud
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Joined Nov 2003
The original gay....
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HeyLookItsMe
02-19-2013 at 11:11 AM.
02-19-2013 at 11:11 AM.
Quote from dalokgawd :
Doncha love it when someone makes a post thinking they're going to get a lot of head patting and commiseration and then when they get a big fat bucket of reality dumped on their head they can't handle it so they just disappear and never come back?

I love The Lounge. hug
Popcorn

Quote from teenbean :
Times haven't changed other then parents baby their children for so much longer and then they wonder why their 30 year old son still lives in the basement.
that's only cause I snore... otherwise id still sleep in my parents bed
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Last edited by HeyLookItsMe February 19, 2013 at 11:11 AM.
Joined Nov 2003
The original gay....
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HeyLookItsMe
02-19-2013 at 11:13 AM.
02-19-2013 at 11:13 AM.
Quote from Maleficent :
I agree. The parents often end up jaded and bitter, and all too often the kids become pawns in a lifelong battle. The kids end up being royally screwed. It's just heartbreaking. Down
whatever... if we wanted a voice of logic and or reason then they wouldn't be asking strangers on the interweb
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Joined Apr 2006
First Out
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euuser104047
02-19-2013 at 11:51 AM.
02-19-2013 at 11:51 AM.
Overreact much.. This kid turned out fine......

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Joined Jan 2007
The Mistress of All Evil!
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Maleficent
02-19-2013 at 12:05 PM.
02-19-2013 at 12:05 PM.
Quote from HeyLookItsMe :
whatever... if we wanted a voice of logic and or reason then they wouldn't be asking strangers on the interweb
True. laugh out loud
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Joined Jan 2004
Here's to the future
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Iaaaiws
02-19-2013 at 01:19 PM.
02-19-2013 at 01:19 PM.
Quote from chewspam :
Iagree The root of the problem is both parents . . . . not just one.
Quote from beanqueen :
It's true that it's hard on the kid to go back and forth, but I'm a firm believer that kids need both parents and that it's better to have joint custody and force yourselves to work together on things. It's gonna be better for the kid in the long run when you're both at his baseball games or whatnot that he doesn't feel that tension between the two.

If you both are gonna have joint custody, then you need to work together to figure things out and have open honest communication. I'm sure it will come easier with time, but it's better to get those things into place early...

If you guys need to have some kind of counseling or whatever...you should both be bigger people...put your differences aside for the best of the child.
Quote from Maleficent :
I agree. The parents often end up jaded and bitter, and all too often the kids become pawns in a lifelong battle. The kids end up being royally screwed. It's just heartbreaking. Down
I'm all for both parents being involved in the kids lives after a divorce. I just hate how it is the kids that often get the worst of the deal and the parents often don't even take in to consideration how tough it is for the kids to be shuffled back and forth on a regular basis.

Maybe it should be done differently. Let the kids keep the security and consistency of having a single home that they know is where they are going to stay. Then let the parents be the ones to have to shake up their lives every week and move somewhere else while the other parent moves in for the duration of their custody. Maybe when they got to see firsthand what it is like for the kids they would take it a little more seriously.

If people are going to continue to treat marriage as a disposable item they should at least get it out of their system before they have kids in the first place.
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Joined Apr 2010
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Majide
02-19-2013 at 01:43 PM.
02-19-2013 at 01:43 PM.
Quote from Iaaaiws :
Maybe it should be done differently. Let the kids keep the security and consistency of having a single home that they know is where they are going to stay. Then let the parents be the ones to have to shake up their lives every week and move somewhere else while the other parent moves in for the duration of their custody. Maybe when they got to see firsthand what it is like for the kids they would take it a little more seriously.
Scratchchin Isn't that what they were doing (at least talked about doing) for the Jon & Kate Plus Eight family? I think I remember hearing about how they were going to let the kids live there, and the parents come there depending on their schedule.

I wonder how that turned out... I don't think it worked out for them Annoyed
Sounds like a good idea though!
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Joined Apr 2009
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Original Poster
Qupon-her
02-19-2013 at 01:44 PM.
02-19-2013 at 01:44 PM.
I didnt come here to be made fun of or criticized. I came for support and suggestions. Thank you to those that actually did help and now I will go back to the threads in sd that are actually practical.
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Joined Jan 2004
Here's to the future
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Iaaaiws
02-19-2013 at 01:51 PM.
02-19-2013 at 01:51 PM.
Quote from Majide :
Scratchchin Isn't that what they were doing (at least talked about doing) for the Jon & Kate Plus Eight family? I think I remember hearing about how they were going to let the kids live there, and the parents come there depending on their schedule.

I wonder how that turned out... I don't think it worked out for them Annoyed
Sounds like a good idea though!
I'm happy to say that I don't know and don't care to know anything about Jon & Kate Plus Eight.
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Joined Apr 2010
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Majide
02-19-2013 at 01:54 PM.
02-19-2013 at 01:54 PM.
Quote from Iaaaiws :
I'm happy to say that I don't know and don't care to know anything about Jon & Kate Plus Eight.
laugh out loud Yeah, I think I was asking rhetorically. I just heard things from my mom who followed all of it. So that's how I had heard. Plus there for a while it was in the news everywhere Annoyed Couldn't go eat lunch without seeing it on the TV.

Though if media had focused on that "kids get the house" thing, it might have made some sort of a good impact... Maybe Unsure
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Joined Oct 2004
Professor Fishslapper!
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dalokgawd
02-19-2013 at 02:53 PM.
02-19-2013 at 02:53 PM.
Quote from aemcgee :
I didnt come here to be made fun of or criticized. I came for support and suggestions. Thank you to those that actually did help and now I will go back to the threads in sd that are actually practical.
So you didn't come here for the truth, you came here to be told what you want to hear? Dontknow
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The Mistress of All Evil!
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Maleficent
02-19-2013 at 03:19 PM.
02-19-2013 at 03:19 PM.
Quote from dalokgawd :
So you didn't come here for the truth, you came here to be told what you want to hear? Dontknow
There was quite a bit more than the "truth" spewed at the OP in this thread. Which is like every other help thread.

Asking for advice in the lounge is like being an injured fawn and wandering into a wolf den.
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Joined Oct 2004
Professor Fishslapper!
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dalokgawd
02-19-2013 at 03:31 PM.
02-19-2013 at 03:31 PM.
Quote from Maleficent :
There was quite a bit more than the "truth" spewed at the OP in this thread. Which is like every other help thread.

Asking for advice in the lounge is like being an injured fawn and wandering into a wolf den.
In our own defense though, that only generally happens when someone is either incredibly self deluded or does something ridiculous like threatening to take her ex husband to court because he left the kids for a few minutes.
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Joined Jan 2007
The Mistress of All Evil!
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Maleficent
02-19-2013 at 03:37 PM.
02-19-2013 at 03:37 PM.
Quote from dalokgawd :
In our own defense though, that only generally happens when someone is either incredibly self deluded or does something ridiculous like threatening to take her ex husband to court because he left the kids for a few minutes.
No, it happens to anyone that isn't a beloved lounge regular. laugh out loud
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