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ForeverDecember's new thread. Applications and Candidates.

11,996 1,332 April 16, 2013 at 12:35 PM in Humor
So I don't work at the hospital anymore since I moved across the country, but now I work for an employment agency. I go over a ton of applications among other things and sometimes silly things come up. Since people like CowgirlMechanic seemed to enjoy my last thread, hopefully you will like the new one.


So let's begin:

On an application today (at a friend's office):
How did you hear about *company I work for*?: Threw a friend

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Last Edited by ForeverDecember May 7, 2013 at 02:22 PM
Interview tip #1: Don't use your resume as an umbrella when it rains

Interview tip #2: Jeans and a lime green tank top are not interview attire.

Interview tip #3: Asking for the receptionist's number while you are waiting for an interview isn't the best first impression.

Interview tip #4: Spell check your resume. For the love of sheep, spell check your resume.

Interview tip #5: Don't eat part of the styrofoam water cup while filling out your application and then leave it on the table with bite marks and nibbles taken out of it. That is just weird and frankly pretty gross.

Interview tip #6: Extreme and blatant racism and sexism will not get you a job (at least here). If I had it my way, I'd tell you to fark off but I have to be polite.

Interview tip #7: Constant, loud sighs when I give you some paperwork to do is not a good sign. If you are annoyed or think it is too much to ask to fill out an application, what can I expect from you on a job?

Interview tip #8: It says on your social security card to not laminate it. Please stop laminating them. That includes wrapping it in scotch tape. They are actually invalid when you do that.

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Joined May 2006
Suspected porn star
> bubble2 11,996 Posts
1,332 Reputation
Original Poster
ForeverDecember
04-17-2013 at 09:10 AM.
04-17-2013 at 09:10 AM.
I was putting in an app just now and when asked to describe their last position it says: Driving children around in a van.


EEK!
Reply
Joined May 2006
Suspected porn star
> bubble2 11,996 Posts
1,332 Reputation
Original Poster
ForeverDecember
04-17-2013 at 09:13 AM.
04-17-2013 at 09:13 AM.
Quote from chewspam :
FD hasn't noticed me either. Sadwalk
Oh yes I did! I replied to you!
Quote from veritablequandary :
Oh, sure. You get out there in Sunny CA and get yourself a desk far away from the toilets and suddenly it's "oh I must've um forgot to um multiquote or something yeah that's it" SURE forget all about your friends who were here when your boss took a smelly dump six feet from your FACE Mad

Harhar
I'm not in Sunny, CA. Not sure where that is actually. Stick Out Tongue

OMG the bathroom isn't even in my office suite! It is down the hall! Yayyyy!
Secret Although I super hate this job Frown
Reply
Last edited by ForeverDecember April 17, 2013 at 09:16 AM.
Joined Jul 2003
L10: Grand Master
> bubble2 35,473 Posts
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DC
04-17-2013 at 09:18 AM.
04-17-2013 at 09:18 AM.
Quote from ForeverDcember :
I can see the 49ers stadium from my office! It is beautiful.
NICE! woot
Reply
Joined Jun 2006
Jambi-rific in Seattle!
> bubble2 31,436 Posts
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Zoe Moon
04-17-2013 at 09:20 AM.
04-17-2013 at 09:20 AM.
Quote from ForeverDcember :
I was putting in an app just now and when asked to describe their last position it says: Driving children around in a van.


EEK!
That's the fault of the application, it's not specific enough, should say, "Describe your last paid position". He got confused and listed a hobby.
Reply
Joined Mar 2009
Schrödinger's Frog
> bubble2 19,435 Posts
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Frogstar
04-17-2013 at 09:27 AM.
04-17-2013 at 09:27 AM.
Quote from ForeverDcember :
Oh yes I did! I replied to you!

I'm not in Sunny, CA. Not sure where that is actually. Stick Out Tongue

OMG the bathroom isn't even in my office suite! It is down the hall! Yayyyy!
Secret Although I super hate this job Frown
Sadwalk
Reply
Joined Dec 2007
Brown Recluse Aficionado
> bubble2 7,411 Posts
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chevvy
04-17-2013 at 09:30 AM.
04-17-2013 at 09:30 AM.
Quote from ForeverDcember :
Oh yes I did! I replied to you!

I'm not in Sunny, CA. Not sure where that is actually. Stick Out Tongue

OMG the bathroom isn't even in my office suite! It is down the hall! Yayyyy!
Secret Although I super hate this job Frown
Just trying to keep you on your toes. laugh out loud
Reply
Joined Dec 2006
L6: Expert
> bubble2 1,149 Posts
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CowgirlMechanic
04-17-2013 at 05:24 PM.
04-17-2013 at 05:24 PM.
Quote from ForeverDcember :
hug You are always first Wink

Thanks for the warm welcome back everyone. Sorry if I missed you on a multi-quote.
Blush Cloud9 awwwwww..... Blowkiss so happy you are back!!!
Quote from veritablequandary :
Oh, sure. You get out there in Sunny CA and get yourself a desk far away from the toilets and suddenly it's "oh I must've um forgot to um multiquote or something yeah that's it" SURE forget all about your friends who were here when your boss took a smelly dump six feet from your FACE Mad

Harhar
LMAO BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH..... ahhhh memories!!!! LMAO
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Joined Feb 2006
R U an ultracrepidarian?
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iconian | Staff
04-17-2013 at 05:48 PM.
04-17-2013 at 05:48 PM.
At least she moved closer to her own hobby mecca - porn.
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Joined Feb 2005
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Putz1103
04-17-2013 at 06:57 PM.
04-17-2013 at 06:57 PM.
Quote from iconian :
At least she moved closer to her own hobby mecca - porn.
She was just a porn star dopplechanger... Evillaugh
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Joined Dec 2006
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Hawk2007
04-17-2013 at 07:58 PM.
04-17-2013 at 07:58 PM.
Quote from ForeverDcember :
How did you hear about *company I work for*?: Threw a friend

Should have asked a follow up of "Explain...."

There's bound to be a good story there of how he found out about the agency after tossing a friend.
Reply
Joined Jan 2010
Cajun Trollop
> bubble2 7,098 Posts
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Ms.arteest
04-17-2013 at 08:49 PM.
04-17-2013 at 08:49 PM.
FD! I'm glad to see your back at the asylum! wave Cross country! Wow! That's a long way to go to get away from the toilet!


Quote from veritablequandary :
I would so hire this kid!
Reply
Joined May 2006
Suspected porn star
> bubble2 11,996 Posts
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Original Poster
ForeverDecember
04-17-2013 at 09:31 PM.
Reply
Joined May 2006
Suspected porn star
> bubble2 11,996 Posts
1,332 Reputation
Original Poster
ForeverDecember
04-17-2013 at 09:36 PM.
04-17-2013 at 09:36 PM.
Quote from veritablequandary :




Wave hug FD! Blowkiss
These are great laugh out loud
Quote from Zoe Moon :
That's the fault of the application, it's not specific enough, should say, "Describe your last paid position". He got confused and listed a hobby.
You are a smart cookie.

Quote from iconian :
At least she moved closer to her own hobby mecca - porn.
I work from home Wink
Quote from Putz1103 :
She was just a porn star dopplechanger... Evillaugh
Suspected!
Quote from Hawk2007 :
Should have asked a follow up of "Explain...."

There's bound to be a good story there of how he found out about the agency after tossing a friend.
We should call them back for another interview to dive deeper into this story.
Reply
Joined Jul 2003
L10: Grand Master
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DC
04-18-2013 at 08:54 AM.
04-18-2013 at 08:54 AM.
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Joined Oct 2004
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Jabbit
04-18-2013 at 10:15 AM.
04-18-2013 at 10:15 AM.
Woohoo!! Whee This thread is off to a great start, glad you are back!
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