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ForeverDecember's new thread. Applications and Candidates.

11,996 1,332 April 16, 2013 at 12:35 PM in Humor
So I don't work at the hospital anymore since I moved across the country, but now I work for an employment agency. I go over a ton of applications among other things and sometimes silly things come up. Since people like CowgirlMechanic seemed to enjoy my last thread, hopefully you will like the new one.


So let's begin:

On an application today (at a friend's office):
How did you hear about *company I work for*?: Threw a friend

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Last Edited by ForeverDecember May 7, 2013 at 02:22 PM
Interview tip #1: Don't use your resume as an umbrella when it rains

Interview tip #2: Jeans and a lime green tank top are not interview attire.

Interview tip #3: Asking for the receptionist's number while you are waiting for an interview isn't the best first impression.

Interview tip #4: Spell check your resume. For the love of sheep, spell check your resume.

Interview tip #5: Don't eat part of the styrofoam water cup while filling out your application and then leave it on the table with bite marks and nibbles taken out of it. That is just weird and frankly pretty gross.

Interview tip #6: Extreme and blatant racism and sexism will not get you a job (at least here). If I had it my way, I'd tell you to fark off but I have to be polite.

Interview tip #7: Constant, loud sighs when I give you some paperwork to do is not a good sign. If you are annoyed or think it is too much to ask to fill out an application, what can I expect from you on a job?

Interview tip #8: It says on your social security card to not laminate it. Please stop laminating them. That includes wrapping it in scotch tape. They are actually invalid when you do that.

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Joined Jul 2003
L10: Grand Master
> bubble2 35,473 Posts
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DC
05-09-2013 at 08:47 AM.
05-09-2013 at 08:47 AM.
Quote from Frogstar :
Did they list "dechroming trailer hitches" under skills?
bulb

laugh out loud
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Joined Oct 2009
Shop smart. Shop S-Mart!
> bubble2 4,052 Posts
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ashcampbell
05-09-2013 at 09:43 AM.
05-09-2013 at 09:43 AM.
Quote from Count_Chocula :
my bmw x5 ain't got no trailer hitches?
OBV you skimped on the add-on packages.
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Joined Feb 2010
L9: Master
> bubble2 4,199 Posts
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idkist
05-09-2013 at 10:13 AM.
05-09-2013 at 10:13 AM.
Quote from ForeverDecember :
I wish so bad I could write what happened with the racism thing but I better not. It was bad though. Really bad. One of the most uncomfortable moments of my life.
Now I want to know even more!

Sadwalk
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Joined Jan 2012
6seasonsandamovie
> bubble2 1,555 Posts
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meaggiej
05-09-2013 at 02:41 PM.
05-09-2013 at 02:41 PM.
Quote from ForeverDecember :
It seriously happens all of the time. Another thing that happens all the time is:

Me (on the phone): "Thank you for calling *my company*, could you please hold?"
Person on the other end: "Yes. So I am looking for a job and let me tell you my life story while not taking a breath."
Me: "I'm sorry, could you please hold for a moment?"
Person: "My name is I don't listen to you I just talk, and I am looking for a job and here is my life story again, but in a slightly different tone."
i work for a call center. i get this all day long. and it is awwwffuulll.
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Joined May 2006
Suspected porn star
> bubble2 11,996 Posts
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Original Poster
ForeverDecember
05-13-2013 at 12:19 AM.
05-13-2013 at 12:19 AM.
Quote from meaggiej :
i work for a call center. i get this all day long. and it is awwwffuulll.
I am so sorry you have to deal with it. Comfort
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Joined Mar 2006
academic of funny trades
> bubble2 2,234 Posts
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kratzy
05-13-2013 at 08:33 AM.
05-13-2013 at 08:33 AM.
Quote from ForeverDecember :
Also, if you know how to fill out a W4 and an I9, kudos to you, because no one else does. I swear, 9 out of 10 (and that is being way generous) do it totally wrong.
I think number 1 requirement for any applicant should be: ability to follow instructions- both verbal and written. In IT, we tell endusers what to do in specific situations (it is usually along the lines of - scenario 1 happens, then do these two things etc), but we still get people doing exactly the things we try to avoid and then attest to have read and understand our procedural documentation. And I especially include the verb "understand" because they have to attest to that at least annually.
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Joined May 2006
Suspected porn star
> bubble2 11,996 Posts
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Original Poster
ForeverDecember
05-16-2013 at 11:16 PM.
05-16-2013 at 11:16 PM.
Sorry this has been slow. I took a few days off of work. I go back tomorrow so maybe I will have some stories.
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Joined Jun 2008
My name is Walter
> bubble2 6,360 Posts
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marg_fan
05-17-2013 at 02:40 AM.
05-17-2013 at 02:40 AM.
No reason to be sorry FD. Just read the Fark My Life thread.
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Joined May 2006
Suspected porn star
> bubble2 11,996 Posts
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Original Poster
ForeverDecember
05-20-2013 at 01:34 PM.
05-20-2013 at 01:34 PM.
From a resume under their job description: Manage dirty rags
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Joined Mar 2009
Schrödinger's Frog
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Frogstar
05-20-2013 at 01:38 PM.
05-20-2013 at 01:38 PM.
Is that something that requires a lot of managing?
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Joined Oct 2004
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Jabbit
05-20-2013 at 02:18 PM.
05-20-2013 at 02:18 PM.
He aspires for a promotion - one day, he WILL manage the clean rags. Oh boy, a dream come true!
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Joined May 2006
Suspected porn star
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Original Poster
ForeverDecember
05-23-2013 at 09:11 AM.
05-23-2013 at 09:11 AM.
If you knew how many people have DUIs on their record, you would be a little more nervous to drive every day.
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Joined Mar 2009
Schrödinger's Frog
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Frogstar
05-23-2013 at 09:21 AM.
05-23-2013 at 09:21 AM.
Quote from ForeverDecember :
If you knew how many people have DUIs on their record, you would be a little more nervous to drive every day.
Especially if you also added in the people that got them reduced to a lower charge.
There's a lawyer in town here that made it into the papers after her SIXTH time getting busted for DUI.

Heh, when you google search her name now, the first autocomplete is "[her name] omaha" and the second is "[her name] dui".
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Joined May 2006
Suspected porn star
> bubble2 11,996 Posts
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Original Poster
ForeverDecember
05-23-2013 at 09:44 AM.
05-23-2013 at 09:44 AM.
Quote from Frogstar :
Especially if you also added in the people that got them reduced to a lower charge.
There's a lawyer in town here that made it into the papers after her SIXTH time getting busted for DUI.

Heh, when you google search her name now, the first autocomplete is "[her name] omaha" and the second is "[her name] dui".
laugh out loud That is pretty excessive.

I am always pretty floored at just how many have one. Also not accounting for the people who don't admit to charges on their paperwork (we find those ones out later usually).
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Joined Mar 2006
academic of funny trades
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kratzy
05-23-2013 at 12:15 PM.
05-23-2013 at 12:15 PM.
Quote from ForeverDecember :
From a resume under their job description: Manage dirty rags
can he clean them as well and self-promote himself to clean rags? Second follow up questions - did he aspire to land another supervisory position?
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