Joined Oct 2003
L10: Grand Master
Forum Thread
Official Funny Spam/Lottery Email Thread
November 7, 2007 at
10:18 AM
in
Humor
Post all notices of winning lottos, or any amusing spam here.
212 Comments
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Pardon the language, but it's warranted.
It is a profound gratitude communicating with you through
this medium. Your email address won prize fund of $450
Thousand Pounds Sterlings categorically in The Microsoft
Cooperation lottery program.
Winning informations.
(I) Reference Number: 421/613/580-EB
(ii)Batch Number: 42100546-934-VE
(iii)File Number: 2-34-90-57-1101
(iv) Lucky Number: TL 22/15406
FILL THE FOLLOWING BELOW
Full Name:
Occupation:
Country:
Full Residential Address:
Marital Status:
Date Of Birth:
Please contact our FOREIGN TRANSFER MANAGER.
TEL: +447045756797 OR CALL: +447024099197.
E-mail: [email protected]
Yours Sincerely,
Senior Microsoft Agent.
"Hello not the man familiar to me!
I understand that you now are surprised that to you this letter has
come. But I ask you simply spend 5 minutes of your time and read it
and that it can probably change and your life and mine. At first I
wished to be presented. My name to Vera me of 29 years I live in
Russia in the Cheboksary of I not married. And never was married. I
have finished school and arrived in medical college finished it and
went to work in hospital but only me never I carried could find to
myself the man and me so it would be desirable it. And I looked as
that in the evening the TV and saw that there spoke that in Russia 30
000 000 women which live without men and that there are such marriage agencies in which it is possible to address and in such agency to you can pick up the man. I went to one of such agency and addressed to them with the request that they could find for me the man they spoke to me that this service paid and that I should pay about 1000 roubles.
At first I thought that it expensively for me but have then thought
and solved that money for me it not important that I want happiness I
want love I want the relation and I want a happy family what for to me
money without a thing it and I gave this one thousand roubles. And
they suggested me to get acquainted with the man from other country. I have solved why and was not present if I could not find the man from
Russia such destiny can at me and I should search the man from another of the countries. And they gave me yours e-mail the address and spoke that you search to yourself the woman. I took all data and went to the cafe Internet as I am not able to use well the computer and it costs much for my payment from work. I came to the Internet of cafe and asked that to me created the address e-mail that I from it could write you the letter. And here now you can see my letter. I wrote you it
with hope that you will answer. As I took two photos that you could
see my appearance and to solve for yourself completely you would like
to begin dialogue and relations with me. Only I ask you at once look
at a photo esteem the letter think and solve precisely you would like
with me correspondence to me the friend to me is not necessary I and
which is ready for serious relations will be necessary to love which
MAN and creation of a family I is possible I ask you very fragile
person and if serious relations write to me tell to me are not
necessary to you that is not present I will understand. And still I
wished to speak to you that on a photo I turned out not so well as I
did these photos at home and they turned out not so well as
professional but you see me such as I look in a life. And you can
precisely define such woman as I is necessary to you or not. Very big
request Also would like if you nevertheless are interested in me that
write to me about yours e-mail where we with you could speak and a
little good photos you have gone to me. Here like and all that I
wished to speak with you and now I only needed to wait from you for
the answer and I hope that you will write that to me if I was not
pleasant to you or serious relations are not necessary to you let to
me know.
The lonely woman from Russia Vera."
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Good fortune has blessed you with a name that has planted you into the
center of relevance in my life. I would respectfully request that you keep
the content of this mail confidential because of its nature and respect
the integrity of this information. First of all I'll like to introduce
myself and status, I am Thomas Williams, Staff of International Private
Banking at HSBC Bank London. I am contacting you concerning a deceased
customer and a financial portfolio of $8.5m United state dollars, which he
placed under HSBC Bank managements two years ago for turn over on his
behalf.
As the Chief Operations Officer of the private banking sector, I
encouraged the deceased on his arrival to our bank on various growth of
fund with prime ratings.The favored route in my advice to him was
accessing data's on 6000 traditional stocks and bond managements.Based on
my advise, attractive margins,acquired profit and interest stood at over
$10m United state dollars,this margin was not the full potential of the
fund but he desired low risk guaranteed returns on investment. Early 2004
my client asked that the money be liquidated because of an urgent
investment requiring cash payments here in United Kingdom, and that the
liquidated fund be deposited in CORPORATE SECURITIES CO, a security
consulting firm based in London who are specialist private firm that
accepts deposits from high net worth individuals and blue chip
corporations that handle valuable products and undertake transactions that
need immediate access to cash. This order was given to me in anticipation
of his a rival from Norway later that week, this was the last
communication we had. Sometimes this year I got a call from CORPORATE
SECURITIES CO. informing me of the inactivity of the portfolio, since I
was the only one who knew about the deposit, I immediately passed the task
of locating my client to the Internal Investigation Department of HSBC,
which now revealed that the person who suited his description was declared
dead of a Heart attack in Cane, South of France. And in line with banking
internal processes for account holders who have passed away, an
investigation was meant to be launched to contact a possible surviving
NEXT OF KIN to come forward as beneficiary of the fund but unfortunately
when my client came patronizing our services, in his bio-data form, no
next of kin was listed neither was there a TESTATE. My client only used
numbers and codes to make the account he opened with us anonymous. At this
juncture, I'll like to unravel the true position of this transaction,
CORPORATE SECURITIES CO,has request for statements of claim from me, and I
alone knows of the existence of the deposit, for as far as HSBC Bank is
concerned the transaction with our late client concluded when I sent the
fund to the security firm, all outstanding interactions in relation to the
file are just customer service and due process. The security firm has no
single idea of what the history or nature of the deposit is, they await
instructions to release the deposit to any party that I nominate as the
beneficiary of the fund. I am prepared to place you in a position to
instruct Corporate Securities Co. to release the deposit to you as the
NEXT OF KIN. Kindly let me know your true interest in this pending
transaction so as to ascertain the proceeds, and I assure you that I could
have the deposit released to you within few days. I implore you to discard
this mail if you find no interest in this transaction, and if my offer is
of no appeal to you, please dint be vindictive and destructive just
delete this message and forget I ever contacted you.
Finally, I am sending you this mail without a measure of fear as to what
the consequences are, but I know within me that nothing ventured is
nothing gained and that success and riches never comes in a platter of
gold. This is the one truth I have learned from my private banking
clients. Do not betray my confidence, if we can be of one accord, we
should plan a meeting soon.
I await your response.
Thomas Williams.
So I just came back from Africa for the The 3rd Annual Nigerian EMail Conference [j-walk.com] and was in the middle of reading about the epic battle of monorovia [referenceonly.com] when I checked my email and stumbled upon a message entitled "GONGRATULATION" and SURE ENOUGH I WON 2.5 MIL USD FROM THE MALAYSIAN NATIONAL LOTTERY!!!!!!
For you dumb nuts who are skeptic, here is proof I won. Besides relieving an email specifically addressed to me (winner=me), I even got my own personal courier contact.... How many of you all have something like that??...
So I just got off the phone Online Co-Ordinator Goh Song Ken and I sent him my $20,000 deposit and he promised me my money is just days away from being deposited!
So everyone, what should I do with my new fortune? Or better yet....
What Would You Do With Your Malaysian National Lottery Sum??? (WWYDWYMNLS)
GUANYAY FOR ME!
----
Like everyone else, I get these emails all the time but its sometimes really funny how they send some of their emails. Seriously though I hope those nigerian scammer scums burn in hell as they rip off unsuspected people....
Hopfully I made a few people laugh. :-) Definitely check out the two links, especially monorvia, they are hilarious! All the best!
I think theres a thread for these.
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新しいメールアドレス： [email protected]
ATTENTION
WE ARE PLEASED TO INFORM YOU TODAY 3rd OF JUNE 2008 THAT YOU HAVE JUST WON YOURSELF THE SUM OF US$5.5MILLION:REF NO.SSW/35041230013/04.LUCKY NO: 23-22-44-37-20-34: YOU ARE ADVICED TO CONTACT YOUR CLAIMS AGENT Mr.William Garrett:
Email:[email protected]
Sincerely,
MR.Rod Hall
- MR ROD HALL